Braided Ties
by calla lilly rose
Summary: Continuation of Splintered Ties That Bind, the brothers have found each other, and their lives move forward...Will things ever be the same? Future change to an M rating when the time is right
1. The Reunion

Authors Note...I do not own anything associated with The Outsiders, in any form of media. All characters belong to SE Hinton

This is the continuation to **Splintered Ties That Bind**, I hope you enjoy this story as much as its predecessor.

**Braided Ties That Bind**

Chapter 1

**The Reunion**

XXXXX

Ponyboy's family had finally found him. The ad in _Horseman's Trader_ revealed where he had fled to when Soda's erroneous military death notice arrived at his Tulsa home nearly two years ago. Ponyboy had been the only one home that day, and within the hour of reading the words that letter contained, he was packed and had fled his home, abandoning what was left of his family, his friends and basically his entire life.

After a series of stops along the way where he managed among other things to obtain a fake identification card, he settled near Wolf Creek, Montana, getting his GED and then enrolled in college. That's where I met him last summer, and from that moment I was intrigued by him. He seemed younger than the eighteen years he said he was, but was also smart, artistic and engaging. He was never dull, always positive in his outlook and I loved spending time with him. Very quickly, I fell in love with him. Three weeks ago he proposed to me while on a picnic, and I could barely breathe as I said yes.

Of course, since he proposed to me, he also revealed to me all the truths - the many secrets he had to have and all the lies he had to create in order to get away from the painful past he fled from, desperate to not be returned to Tulsa and all the pain that existed there for him. The only thing good left in Tulsa for him was Darry, his oldest brother, and a smattering of friends. I knew Darry was still alive – that fact had never been a secret, but Pony had told me Darry was moving on with his own life and he had to do the same as well. He missed Darry more than words could say, but would never allow himself to contact his brother, fearing he would either ruin Darry's chance at happiness or his own. So he lived with that pain pitted in his soul.

So it was a pretty big shock when over an hour ago I answered a knock on the door to find a group of men standing on the porch saying they were his family and friends, that Soda _hadn't_ died and that they had been searching for Ponyboy every day since he left home. "_Did he live here_?" They wanted to know.

I was stunned. Everything Pony believed was _wrong._.. but how would he accept the real truth? Since I knew he knew Darry and his friend Two-Bit were alive, I had Pony "find" them first in the living room while Soda and their other friend Steve hid in a back room until Darry could gently break it to him.

Darry was gentle about it, but as I sat alone in the kitchen listening to all these events unfold, I could hear the anguish erupt from my future husband the moment he had to have seen Soda. The sobs I heard pouring from him in the other room pulled me out of my seat, but I held back in going to him. As much as I wanted to, it was his family who could help him the most... not me.

I returned to my seat and wiped my tears that were flowing down my face. The tears flowing in the other room were caused by both the immense love they feel for each other as a family and the massive sadness his absence had left them with.

Now with all the pain being purged from their collective bodies and souls, they could heal and begin again, renewed as a family once more.

A calm began to descend in the other room, and for a few minutes I could hear nothing as I sat alone in the kitchen. Then I heard him call my name and I sat up, nervous. I felt as if I had invaded this reunion, even though I wasn't even in the room. He came around the corner and knelt down in front of me, the others watching at the doorway. I could only look in his eyes and see the settled peace that now lay behind those beautiful green irises and knew he was happier. He was whole again. I love him so much and was glad his family was here, that they had finally found him. He had been without them too long. I kissed him and gave my verbal approval of the events taking place.

He then took my hands and helped me to my feet, guiding me forward a step or two.

"I realize," he said softly, looking into my eyes while speaking to them, "that you guys have already met Ashley, but allow me to introduce her to you again anyway. This is Ashley Benning, the young lady I have fallen in love with and have asked to be my wife." At that, a warm feeling filled my chest and my heart began to flutter. He looked at them now and continued. "Ashley, these are my brothers Darry and Sodapop, and our closest friends, Two-Bit Mathews and Steve Randle." He still had my hand in his, softly running his thumb over my fingers.

I could do nothing except smile, nervous again even though I had already spent a few minutes with them before Ponyboy came home.

"Ashley, again, it's wonderful to meet you." Darry said, smiling at me.

"Ponyboy," I turned to him. I needed to leave - I was only in the way here. Two years would not resolve itself in one night. This would take time and my presence was only going to hinder their reunion. "You need time with your family, to catch up, and I have homework to do. I definitely wont get it done here, not now." I said smiling. "I'm gonna go on home. Will you be on campus tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I will. Lunch tomorrow?" He asked me in a whisper.

"Of course." I went back and collected my books and purse.

"Darry, Soda, gentleman... I am so glad you're here." I looked at Pony. "He's needed his family for so long." I gazed in his eyes finding the full truth of that statement swimming there. With one more squeeze of his hand I turned to go. They had a lot to catch up on.

XXXXX

Darry was the first one to move, coming over to my side and putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Engaged, huh?" He said. Soda came over next to Darry.

I looked at them. "Yeah, I asked her a few weeks ago and she accepted. I love her." Suddenly I realized who I was talking to, remembering this wasn't the type of conversation I was used to having with my brothers. Girls, as far as I was concerned, wasn't something I had talked about...with them or anyone.

"So you love her?" Soda asked me, his eyes focused on mine.

I didn't hesitate, looking him straight back. "Yeah, Soda. I love her, she's the one."

He smiled at me. "You once asked me what love was like. I take it now you have your answer?"

I thought back remembering that night, years ago, alone with Soda in bed, when he told me he planned to marry Sandy because he loved her. I didn't understand love then, hell, who can when they're fourteen years old, but I do now. "Yeah, Soda, I have my answer." My heart had told me so.

He smiled and shook my shoulders. I grinned. His smile could make anyone happy. I had thought that smile was gone forever.

"Funny, ain't it, Darry? We came here to find our brother and end up getting a sister-in-law too!"

"Do you guys like her?" I asked, wondering what they thought.

"You and I are going to have a lot to talk over later, but not right now. She seems like a nice young lady, Pone. You're eighteen now, and it's your decision, but marriage is a forever type of thing. You'd better be sure." Darry cautioned, but seemed happy enough for me.

"I'm sure, Darry. I'm absolutely positive."

"Congratulations, Ponyboy." Steve said from the doorway. Two-Bit and Steve were just standing there not saying a word but smiling at me.

"Speaking of sisters...she got one, Pony? An older one for me? I don't want to rob no cradle or nothing, I'm sure that's illegal up here just like in Tulsa, but I haven't tried any of these Northern gals yet!" Two-Bit said. He was teasing, at least I hoped so.

"No, she's by herself. And even if she wasn't, I'd warn any of them of your antics!" I went over to Two-Bit, chucking him on the shoulder. "I remember your old ways. I doubt you've changed that much."

Within seconds he knocked me down, wrestling with me like we used to a long time ago, but this time it was on _my_ kitchen floor and I was a better match. I had gotten taller and had developed way more muscle and strength than I ever had two years ago. The guys moved out of the way as he struggled to pin me, rolling over me as I again and again was able to get out from under his pin. I heard Soda shout "Go Pony, Go!" and Steve call out "Aww, _hell!_ Two Bit, come on..." and other assorted sayings as we rolled around.

We knocked over a chair and almost overturned my dining table, but I finally pinned him, my right arm around his neck, his left arm twisted up behind his back and my left leg pulling his left leg backward as I hooked it around his ankle. He struggled some, but couldn't move.

"Well, Two-Bit...Uncle?" I sputtered out, holding him tight.

After another minute of pointless struggle, he finally gave up. "Yeah, Pony...Uncle!" He wheezed out. I released him and stood up, panting and catching my own breath. I beamed down at him as he lay on my floor. The spectators were halfheartedly applauding. I straightened my shirt and put out my hand to help him up. He shook his head then grinned at me, taking my hand and getting up.

"Damn, Ponyboy, you eating your Wheaties or something? Where'd you get those guns from?" he asked, poking my biceps with his finger. I looked at him and then over at Darry.

"From the same place he got his, you moron. I am a _Curtis_, after all, ain't I?" I went over and stood with my brothers. We three matched closer now, in height and build. Finally, the three of us as one.

"No denying it," he said with finality, shaking his head and smiling in amazement, "you are _definitely_ a Curtis!"

XXX

I would appreciate your reviews!

Calla Lilly Rose


	2. The Homestead

Chapter 2

The Homestead

"So, lets see this house of yours, Pony." Darry said, picking the chairs back up that had fallen over during the wrestling match in the kitchen.

"Well, for starters, here's the kitchen..."

"No shit, sherlock, we're standing in it." Chimed Steve. "The stove and fridge sort of gave that away."

"Finally the Steve Randle I remember!" I muttered leading them to the living room.

"And you're still a wise-ass!" Returned Steve.

"Geez, guys...let it go already!" Quipped Soda.

"Hey, another piano, Pony?" Two-Bit sat on the bench and began whacking random keys as if he were playing like a professional. It grated on my nerves to both see it and hear it. Mom had always taught me to respect the instrument, or you'd never respect the music that came from it.

"Ugh, stop, please!" I pushed him aside and began to play Beethoven's 5th. After a few chords I stopped. "It's more for Ashley than me. She plays better than I do." Absentmindedly my fingers resumed the notes where I left off. I was still looking at them but had wandered off in my thoughts when I realized they were all looking at me weird like...except Soda and Darry, who were smiling in an odd way. I looked at my hands and abruptly stopped, closing the cover to prevent any further accidental music from occurring. I had forgotten, this was something Darry and Soda hadn't see me do in _years,_ not since our parents passing ..they had probably even _forgotten _I could play, and Two-Bit and Steve had _never_ – in my _best_ recollection – seen me play at all. If I were still even remotely concerned about my old greaser image, it would have been shattered by now.

"Looks like Miss Ashley's got competition on the ivories, Pone," Soda said.

I looked at him, smiling. "No, trust me, she can outplay me any day. Anyway, this is the living room. I know it's still a bit bare, but I haven't finished picking out the furniture yet." In this room I had the couch, two arm chairs and the piano, but not much else. I had resumed my tour of the house, leading them down the hall. "One bathroom over there," I pointed down one way, "and down here are my study and the bedrooms."

"A study? What the hell??? You think you're some corporate executive Soc now?" Steve was at least paying attention.

I opened the door to it and let them in. If there was any room in the house that was completely my own, this was it. The difference was easily recognizable. Where the rest of the house was open and light in feel, this room was somewhat different in nature. From the entryway into the study directly opposite the door were from left to right a set of built - in bookshelves, a window, then another wall on the right. I had my oak desk centered directly in front of the window. Pictures took up most of the space on the shelves as I was still getting things organized. But on the other wall, the one to the right of the window, hung a single picture. I knew it would catch their attention - and it did, as I designed this particular room for this purpose. Everyone went directly to it while I hung back at the door, watching their reaction.

Soda's military picture, which I took from Darry's house now hung here in an oak frame, a metal plate engraved with the date of his birth and the date of his supposed death professionally mounted on the wood in the center on the bottom edge of the frame. Below his picture, also contained in a matching oak case was an American flag, folded into a solemn triangle, in remembrance of the brother I "lost" and what he supposedly died for. A soft light shown down on both the picture and the flag from a special set of lights I had mounted on the ceiling. This is what people saw when they came in here, regardless of if they wanted to or not.

I quietly walked over to Soda and stood next to him, and saw a few tears slide down his face. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, Soda." I said softly. His eyes finally left the picture and he put his arm over my shoulder.

"Oh Ponyboy, the_ hell_ this had to have put you through..." He said quietly to me.

Darry patted me on the back and went over to the bookshelves, Two-Bit and Steve following suite.

"How did you get the dates?" He finally spoke again, as he squeezed my shoulder and looked at his picture some more.

I went over to the bookshelf and, reaching around Darry, found the group shot photo then took it to my desk. As I sat down, the guys gathered around me again, watching as I took the backing off the frame, revealing the long hidden letter the frame had concealed. I pulled it out, setting aside the pieces of the frame and the photo of our younger, happier selves - when there were seven of us and not five. I just stared at the torn envelopeand letter I had hidden there so long ago. It looked just as it did then, and felt the same too. Not the feel of paper mind you, but the _emotion._ It still hurt to know what the message was that these papers held.

I handed it to Soda and he took it, looking bewildered, and pulled out the folded sheets of paper from the envelope. I watched as his eyes read the words, his eyebrows furrowing as the meaning quickly became clear.

"Aw, Pony.....aw _shit, _Ponyboy.....this _never _should have been sent. They fucked up! _Why_...._**why **_did you even open it...it was _addressed_ to Darry?"

I couldn't answer, my own mind went back to the moment I first read the words on the paper. I made no sound but tears of my own escaped my eyes. Even though he was_ right here_, right next to me, alive and well, knowing **those words** were still on that paper upset me so.

I closed my eyes, trying hard to pull it together, realizing the letter was out -and -out wrong and that he was still alive, but it didn't work. I felt his arms encircle me, holding me close, and then more than one hand was on my shoulder. Someone gently pried one of my hands from my face and held it, and as I opened my eyes and looked through the tears I saw it was Darry. Two-Bit and Steve were at his side, looking down at me with concern in their own eyes. Finally Soda pulled away from me, looking at me closely.

"I swear, Soda, if I had known......that you weren't …....I....I never would have..........."

"I know Pony, I know." He pulled me into his arms again. Nothing could erase the last two years of every abhorrent emotion and indescribable sense of loneliness I had felt, but now we had each other again.

"What happened then...why..._how_ did they mess up?" I asked, trying to understand.

"I was shot by a sniper in a tree just as the medivac helicopter was coming in to pick up our wounded men. There was mass confusion as the wounded were quickly loaded in the helicopter while we were simultaneously under attack... then Steve, who it just so happened was on that flight, jumped out, gathered me up and tossed me on the helicopter too. My commander didn't know I was alive and reported me as killed in action. It was a few days before the screw up was discovered and even longer before the right papers were filed to fix it. Filed, yes, but never sent. By then, however, this letter," he said, holding the letter I had hidden for so long, "was already on it's way to the house. I didn't even know this had been sent until I got home, several weeks later....only to be told you were gone. Losing you..._again_.... was worse than being shot...."

"How bad were you hurt?" I asked, not realizing the possible pain he may be living with every day.

He smiled a soothing grin at me. "I got it in the back, near my kidney. I had real good doc's who did a bang up job putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. However, if anyone_ ever_ comes near me with another catheter... they had better be ready for a rumble!" His eyes twinkled behind his emotions.

It took another moment, but I regained my composure and looked at them again.

"Thanks, Steve.....for Soda....." I looked at him, not really sure what to say or do. He wasn't the type who would take a hug from anyone...let alone me, and a handshake just seemed too business like. He just nodded his head.

"My pleasure, kid. Where'd you get the flag from?" He was referring to the one under Soda's picture.

"Sent away for it from some government office for Veterans." I looked back and forth at my brothers, realizing _again _how much I also hurt Darry by leaving. "Since I couldn't go home for your funeral...I wanted to have something to hold onto and say this is what you died for. Our _country, _these _colors_, _**freedom**_. I couldn't go home for your funeral, I ...I just wouldn't have been able to stand there while they lowered your box in the ground." I paused a moment, looking at Darry as he looked away, noticing the faint redness that crept into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Darry...I just ...I just _couldn't _be there."

"Ponyboy, you did what you had to do and I don't fault you for it. I just know you had to have been in as much agony dealing with Soda's 'death' as I was...only I didn't have you to protect anymore and it left me wondering night and day how you were, how you coped. I just wished I could have been here to help you. You scared the shit out of all of us disappearing like that. To _never _know, _every _day and _every_ night if you were okay, hurt, hungry or needed us, cause we _sure_ needed you, little buddy, we _sure_ needed you."

My tears were returning. Soda took my chin in his hand to pull my face up, then stopped suddenly, running his finger over my slightly roughened jawline. He realized what it was and softly smiled.

"You've grown up, Ponyboy, and we missed it." He said, that twinkle still in his eye.

"I'm not taking up the rocking chair yet, guys." I returned, wiping my eyes with finality and taking a deep breath, finally getting up from my desk and heading for the door. "Come on, let me show you the rest of the house." They followed me and I closed the door behind them.

"I have three bedrooms...the master and two guest rooms," I said as I led them down the hall, but when we got to the first of the guest rooms...I had to clarify, "but what I don't have yet is furniture in them."

"None?" Two-Bit asked, his famous one eyebrow going up.

"I have some in my room, but no, not really."

"Well then, lets go check out the master suite!" He started off in that direction, leaving me a tad nervous.

"Um, Two-Bit...." I started, but no one paid me any attention now. The laughter I saw in his eyes made me shake my head while the group followed him to my room at the end of the hall. Without asking (and knowing he wouldn't anyway), Two-Bit opened my door and went on in.

My room wasn't exactly "visitor ready," even Ashley rarely came in here. She'd get real nervous and bolt the first chance she had. I understood her nervousness...things had gotten _very close_ when I was in the hospital and I was determined to keep her...as her father put it, as untouched, clean and undamaged as I could. I wasn't going to force anything. Then again, maybe the _general condition _of my room had something to do with it too.

My dirty laundry was spilling out of the hamper on the floor and my bed wasn't made. Or rather, my _mattresses _weren't made. I still didn't have bedroom furniture per se yet, I just bought the mattresses and had them laying in the middle of the floor. In one corner of the room I had a pile of my old text books and notes from classes I had already completed and passed.

"Um, Pony, where the hell is your furniture?" Soda asked.

I shrugged sheepishly and smiled. "This is it for now."

"You mean you bring your lady in _here_?" Two-Bit blurted out.

"Hell no, man... I ain't brought her in here. We're not married yet!" I said indignantly. _Oh Shit, _I thought, wanting to hit myself as I felt all the blood draining from my head_. _They all got quiet and looked at me, a knowing grin rising on everyone's faces. Even Darry was smiling at me but was trying to hide it.

"Ponyboy, you mean you're_ still_ a …." Steve was about to squeal with laughter.

"Oh just get out of my room, already!" I had gone from pale white to beet red with embarrassment and left them as they doubled over. I went back to the kitchen getting a Pepsi from the fridge. I could still hear laughter coming from the gang as they continued their ranting out of my earshot from the back end of the house.

Darry had followed me and also got a drink from the fridge. I reached into a cabinet and took out the Tylenol, swallowing some with my Pepsi while leaning against the counter, rubbing my temples.

"You still get headaches, Pone?" He asked quietly, looking at me.

"Yeah," I said with my eyes closed.

"You still have your nightmares too?"

"Not so often anymore, but every now and then I do."

"Pony,..... about you being a virgin still, well, if it's true..."

I cut him off, tired of dancing around what was so clearly obvious. "It is," I said resigned, and quite frankly exhausted, looking down at the floor.

He smiled, but it was out of compassion, not ridicule. "Well, I think that's fine. At least I taught you something right, managed to put a few morals in your brain."

I looked at him. "You think that's all you taught me? To keep my gear stored in the basement? Hell, Darry....you and Soda taught me _everything._ How do you think I managed this far on my own? You guys taught me how to survive and make it. The importance of education, street smarts, money management...hell, nothing like living for years on the brink of poverty to teach money management to a person. And _no,_ that was not meant to be hateful. You did the best you could and I was _never_ appreciative of your efforts and hard work. I took it all for granted. But Ashley ain't like any other woman, she's not a piece of dime store trash, and I'll be _**damned **_if I treat her like it."

"That's not what I meant, and if she's going to be your wife, I wouldn't expect you to treat her like it either. I assume you're waiting for marriage and that is admirable. _Rare _as all hell, but admirable." He stopped a minute, thinking. "You know, little brother, I shouldn't really have expected less from you. You were always the one that saw things differently, made_ me_ think twice about stuff. I'm proud of you, Ponyboy, _very_ proud. She seems like a nice young lady. How long have you two been dating?"

"Over a year." I said, rubbing my head harder, trying to push the stubborn pain away. Tylenol didn't work like my aspirin did, but the doctor had told me to stay away from it. "When I started college."

"College?" Darry almost spewed his drink all over my floor. "You're in college?"

XXX

Reviews Please!

Calla Lilly Rose


	3. Dinner

Chapter 3

Dinner

XXX

I smiled at him. "Yep, I'm in my second year at Pembroke City College and should graduate in early June. You getting hungry?"

"Yes, and don't change the subject. How the_ hell _did you get your school records?"

I started pulling cans from the cabinet and got out a big pot to cook it all in. Once the cans were opened and the aroma began to circulate in the house, the guys wandered back and sat down. I smiled, food always brought us out of our hiding places. As I opened the cans and stirred stuff, I explained how I managed to circumvent the supposed system.

"I never got my school records. My fake ID from Vegas had my age at 18, so by leaving school at 16, I didn't need the records anymore. By those dates I had been out of school two years. Under a year I needed the records, over a year I didn't. I just needed my parents or guardian to vouch for me as to when I left school.

"A waitress I'd met in this little diner ten miles out of Vegas said she'd help me no questions asked if I ever needed any. She gave me her name and number which I put in my bag - planning on tossing it later. It was right after I left home and I wasn't doing so good. I guess I was a pitiful sight. I went in to Vegas later and found some random slot machine, nearly giving it everything I had on me. Things changed on my last dollar. I left Vegas a few days later, once I started feeling better. After I got to Wolf Creek I realized I'd need someone's help getting my GED, I found her number and called her, asking if she'd pretend to be mom." I paused, looking at Darry and Soda for their reactions. Darry just looked down and I saw his jaw tighten, Soda just hid his expression behind his hands as he rested his elbows on the table. I lowered my voice, feeling like I had betrayed our parents somehow. "She's _not_ mom, guys...I know that, but I needed her help. I couldn't call you either for obvious reasons." I stirred the food, then continued.

"So anyway, I sent her the GED application forms, she filled them out, signed them and returned them. I submitted it and wha-la...two weeks later, I took the GED."

"And you passed?" Soda asked.

"Diploma's in the study." I answered. I looked at my brothers, Darry just stared into space and I couldn't tell if it was from disappointment or disbelief. "Darry, Soda...please don't be disappointed in me. I wanted my diploma.... after all I went through to earn it and after all you both did to get me there...and I let it go... failing you both. Once I got here - it was the first thing I did, work on getting that GED, lying through my teeth if necessary just so I could get into college. I had to make it up to you, make you proud of me, somehow."

"Pony, this diner, was it real dated...old furniture, cheesy music, located miles away from everything?" Darry asked, an idea forming.

"Yeah, place seemed like it had been forgotten in time. Why?"

XXX

My head jerked up, vaguely remembering the waitress that I thought was hitting on us when we were there. I looked at Darry and met his glance. He was looking at me real hard.

"The waitress who helped you...was she a bit too lively for the diner?" I asked, a sinking feeling developing in my gut. I looked at Pony. He was dicing tomatoes and not really paying me attention.

"Carolyn? Yeah, she's more hyper than the usual type, especially for a joint that backwards...but she's a nice lady. The little help she gave me allowed me to get my GED. I still owe her for it."

"Williams, Watson..." I couldn't remember the name, but was trying to pull it from the cobwebs in my brain.

"Waters. Carolyn Waters." Pony said, then stopped mid-dice and turned to us. "How did you know?"

XXX

I couldn't believe it. The same waitress who served us dinner that night had helped Ponyboy just weeks if not a month before. And **SHE KNEW IT**!

"What did that note say again, Soda?" I asked, watching him clamp his eyes shut, whacking his forehead with his palm as if that would help jar his memory.

"Something about 'I know what you are seeking,' and her phone number. _Jesus Christ_, Darry!"

"Uh...hello? How did you know her name?" Pony asked again, waiting with the knife still paused in mid air.

"We sort of met her." I said. He just looked at me confused. "We followed you out to Vegas hoping to find you, using the post mark on the envelope and the hotel stationary you used when you wrote that letter to me."

"Wow...I'm surprised she didn't rat me out. You told her you were looking for me?"

"Not in so many words." Soda said icily.

"Hey Pony, that reminds me, where the hell is that check?" Steve asked.

"What check?" Pony returned, finishing the tomatoes and now grating a block of cheese.

I watched in awe...since when did he learn to cook?

"_What check _– the kid is hilarious!" Steve looked floored. "The check for two hundred and fifty grand you idiot. **That **check."

"Geez, you guys did a lot of groundwork. That check's in the bank."

"You _cashed_ it?" I was beginning to lose faith in "the system." He managed to go around all my roadblocks as if they weren't even there. He got his birth certificate, his GED and now the check?

"No, it's in a safe deposit box. I still have a while before the time to cash it expires."

I shook my head. My kid brother is smart, all right. Hiding the money right in the bank. I had to laugh, after all the years I sweat it out about him not using his head back home, here it was all he did.

"So you're in college now?" I resumed the original conversation.

"Yep," he said, now busy buttering multiple slices of bread and putting them in the oven, stirring the stew and getting olive oil and what looked like basil from the cabinet. Since when did he start using herbs? "I'm majoring in language arts. Another nine months and I'll have my degree."

I looked at him, proud yet confused.

"Ponyboy, that's great and all, but...um... what type of job are you gonna get with that?"

He just looked at me, an odd smile spreading over his face.

"Well, I dunno Darry. But I plan to go full time at my current job."

XXX

"You're working?" Two-Bit squealed at me.

"Yeah. I have a few gigs going on." I got out bowls and spoons and sat them down on the table, then took the bread out of the oven. I flipped each slice then crumbled cheese and basil over them before returning them to the oven for another minute. I put the pot of stew on the table then got the finished bread out, drizzling them with the tomatoes and the oil, sprinkling more basil over the finished product. I sat the pan on the table and got drinks for everyone. As I put a Pepsi in front of Two-Bit, he looked at me.

"Ya got any beer, Pony?"

"Two-bit, you know I don't drink that stuff. Why would I have it in my house?" The rest of the guys just smiled. Two-Bit opened his Pepsi and shook his head. "Dig in, folks." I said, letting them go first as I settled into a seat at the table.

"What type of work are you doing, Pony?" Soda asked.

"I'm a book illustrator for a local children's author and I do cover art for another publisher. I just got word from my editor that my own book is finalized and is coming out in stores in early February."

They just stared at me. Steve and Two-Bit stopped in mid spoonful – I couldn't help but smile.

"You're an illustrator?" Asked Darry.

"You're an author?" Asked Soda.

They both asked at the same time. "Yup." I said, smug as all hell.

I got up and went to my desk in the study, returning with the three books I'd done for Mr. Quinn. I put them on the table and they just looked at them.

"Hey, Soda...ain't that the same book you bought for Andy?" Two-Bit asked.

"Who's Andy?" I wondered aloud.

XXX

I couldn't speak. I couldn't even swallow the stew in my mouth – my throat was so tight. My vision had narrowed so tightly that all I could see was the book in front of me. _It was the_ _same book._ Where Andy had chewed the artists name off the copy I bought - and I _only_ bought it because he'd damaged it in the first place, was the illustrators complete name..._**Ponyboy Curtis.**_ The missing letters from my copy, present on this copy, spelled my younger brother's name. I'd been reading Andy the book my brother had drawn.

"Soda, you okay?" Steve asked.

I began to breathe again, chewing finally and then swallowing. My tunnel vision finally widening out so I could see everything again.

"Yeah, this is the same book I bought." I opened it again and looked closer at each illustration, the detail, the rich color. "You drew these?" I looked at Pony. "You_ actually __**drew**_ these?" I couldn't get over it.

"Yeah. Not bad, huh? Ashley's father put me in contact with Mr. Quinn, the author. He needed a new artist. His other one sucked. I did some sample work and he gave me the job. I have another book of his I'm doing now. Not bad, huh?"

Ponyboy looked at me and then at Darry. No one at the table said a word.

"How's dinner?" Pony asked, finally getting some for himself.

"Kid," Steve said, also scooping another bowlful. "You are full of surprises!"

XXX

Reviews Please!

Calla Lilly Rose


	4. Brothers

Chapter Four

Brothers

XXX

The sun had already set when dinner was finished and everyone was in the living room. I had piled the dishes in the sink, not as diligent about them as Darry had always been back home. I could tell he wanted to say something about it as I saw his glance back at the sink, but he let it go. I was glad, I'd get them done later, just not that moment.

"So, you guys are welcome to stay here or you can stay at the hotel up the road in Wolf Creek. I stayed at Pelican Harbor when I first got here. It's real nice, or there's Flemming's Inn."

"Steve and I will go to the hotel." Two-Bit said, and by the scowl Steve gave him I could tell this was not something they had discussed.

"He ain't got no beds – and I ain't sleeping on no floor – even if it is a real nice floor. No offense Ponyboy."

"None taken. Darry, Soda?"

"I'm staying here." Soda said with finality.

"Me too." Darry agreed.

"Okay, well, I'll show you the way." I got up and they followed me out the door. Soda and Darry piled into my car and the others got in the rental.

We sat in silence, watching scenery pass by for a few miles, then Darry spoke up.

"Who taught you to drive, Ponyboy?"

I thought he was being critical. Instinctively I checked my speed and made sure my turn signal wasn't blinking endlessly, but it all seemed in order. "What do you mean, Darry?"

"I mean just what I asked. You weren't driving when you left...I barely had a chance to teach you anything. Who taught you?"

"My old landlord, Mr. Roberts. He ….um..... he did a lot for me."

"I'm glad you had someone to help you, Pone." Soda said quietly.

"I let you guys down big time, didn't I?" I said more than asked.

"No." Darry quietly answered from the backseat. "You've actually done well."

"You mean it?" I stammered, stealing a glance at him as I meandered down the empty highway.

"Yes, I do. I can't get over all the changes in you. You've become quite a man. Dad would be proud of you."

It gave me a warm feeling, Darry talking like that. How I'd have earned dad's approval with the way my life was right now.

"I sent you the money, you _did_ go back to school, didn't you Darry?" Silence filled the car. It gave me the answer but I couldn't believe it. "Darry?" I looked in the mirror at him. He was staring at the floorboards.

"No, Ponyboy, I didn't. Maybe one day I'll go back, now that I know you're okay."

I just drove on, unable to speak. I never expected him to turn down an education. Not Darry! Not _again_!

"Ponyboy, I have a shock for you..." Soda said with a wry smile on his face as he sat next to me.

"What?" I said glancing over at him.

"That money you sent...I used part of it to go back and get my own GED."

I nearly ran off the road. "You _what_! When? Congratulations Soda!"

"I was having a hard time at the DX. Steve and me got our old jobs back, but I couldn't get back into the groove of it. Oh, I still like working on cars, but, well, it was different. So I got my GED and..." he looked at me again still smiling... "went to EMT school. I finished last September...a year ago."

It was a good thing I was pulling into Pelican Harbor's parking lot, because I would have driven off into the lake if I hadn't stopped the car. I was smiling something fierce now and wanted to whoop and holler my head off. I hated, _absolutely hated_ the fact that he dropped out, and here he was proving it to me, himself and to everyone else that he _could _do it...just as I always _knew_ he could.

I picked him up in a bear hug as he got out of the car, swinging him around. Two-Bit and Steve just stood next to their rental, not sure what was going on.

"**Ponyboy Curtis...put me down**!"

I did, but he kept smiling.

"You big goofball!" He said, taking a swipe at me on the chin.

I managed to avoid the hit, but made contact on his arm. "I always knew you could do it, Soda!"

"Yeah yeah... I'm proud of myself too."

"That ain't all he got out of that EMT class either." Darry said barely above a whisper. I barely heard him, but didn't pay it attention.

"Hush it, Darry." Soda quipped back, whacking him on his arm this time.

Just as Darry was about to haul out and give a serious punch.... I grabbed both of them by the sleeve and directed them forward, the others trailing along behind us. "Come on, you two." I didn't need the local law enforcement on me now....not after I had lived here in relative obscurity for two years.

XXX

It was another hour before Darry, Soda and I were back at my place, leaving Steve and Two-Bit behind at the hotel. Y'all want my bed and I'll sleep on the couch?" I offered.

"No, Ponyboy, I'll take the couch." Darry said, stretching his six foot two frame over it. I could only think how horribly uncomfortable he was gonna be in the morning, as I knew there was no way he would sleep well when his frame was longer than the couch. But I also knew better than to argue with Darry. He called the couch, he got the couch. Simple as that.

"Soda, you want my bed?" I offered.

He had a smile on his face. "Pony, how about... for old times sake, we bunk together. If that ain't too weird for you anymore."

I smiled too. "No, Soda, it ain't too weird." I got up and brought out sheets, blankets and pillows for Darry while Soda started getting stuff out of his bag.

"Can I use your shower, Pony?" Soda asked.

"You don't need to ask, either of you. Feel free to come and go as you please. Yeah, Soda...you can use the hall bath or the master bath off my bedroom. Extra towels are in the closet.

XXX

Soda got up taking his stuff with him, leaving me and Pony alone finally. I had been wanting to talk with him alone since I found out he was engaged, and I was very glad Two-Bit had the good sense to volunteer both him and Steve in a hotel. I knew Pony not having beds had really nothing to do with his decision to get a room. He's smarter than many give him credit for...a fact I saw a long time ago when Soda was first drafted and again when Pony disappeared. He kept me sane. He knew we needed this time with Pony alone, and once again I was grateful.

"How've you been Ponyboy?" I asked quietly.

"Whaddya mean?" He looked at me confused.

"Sit down." I patted the spot next to me on the sofa and he joined me. "I mean, how have you _been_? Tell me about the last two years of your life. You left with the idea that Soda was dead. **That** had to have some effect on you...I know you, you two are tighter than glue, always have been.

"It killed me, Darry. But I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. It was all I could do, just keep moving. I didn't really _think_ for a long time. By the time I_ could_ think again, I had already started this life … and I _like_ this life. The only thing I had back in Tulsa was you and the guys..... but I couldn't go back, not without Soda.

"I wish you had called me. I could have told you Soda wasn't dead and that you could come home and not be alone anymore. I swear, I wanted so _badly _to hear your voice and know you were okay. More than anything - I just wanted to know you were _okay_."

"I did call."

My head shot up at him. "You called?"

"Yeah, on Soda's last birthday. Two-Bit answered the phone. I didn't know what to say....I expected _you_ to answer, not someone else. I dunno what happened...I felt afraid all of a sudden. I didn't know what to say and hung up. It was stupid of me. I guess I just wanted to hear your voice too."

"Oh, Ponyboy..." I reached over and grabbed his arm, half dragging him across the sofa to me. He may have bulked up, but I was still stronger than he was. He didn't fight me though. "I'm sorry I wasn't a very good guardian to you."

Pony looked up at me. "Stop, Darry. You were the best guardian a guy could hope for. I realize now, paying my own bills and making my own way how hard it was for you. And I didn't make it easy for you, either."

"No, kid, you didn't." I chuckled softly. "Between you and Soda, I had my hands full!" He leaned against me, his head resting on my shoulder with my arm across him. "You're about to take on a responsibility bigger than I ever had though."

He looked up at me, a question in his green eyes.

"Marriage, Ponyboy. I can tell you love her....and that's weird for me to think, let alone _say_. Last I recall, my baby brother wouldn't even talk to girls...would just about cross the street in order to avoid making eye contact with one. Now I find you're _engaged_ to one! Are you sure you're ready for that step? Marriage is a life long commitment. You're still young, eighteen...you don't need to rush anything."

"I love her, Darry."

"Love is a strong emotion, makes guys do stuff we wouldn't ordinarily do." I tried to explain.

"Yes it is, and as much as I've wanted to do things with her, I haven't. It wasn't easy to say 'no' to myself every single time, imagining how_ damn_ good a 'yes' would be, but I held back. And I don't regret holding back either. She's worth waiting for."

"Fine, but I'm referring to life – being part of a couple, joined in all decisions and accepting the consequences of those decisions be they good or bad. Not just the wedding night bliss."

"We've done okay so far."

"I'm sure you have, but have things been difficult yet? Have you been forced to make a decision that was painful to make yet you had to make anyway? I know you, little man. You're a runner, but you cant bolt out on your wife when things go bad."

"I _have_ made a decision like that, Darry. The decision to leave home and stay away. And the only running I do anymore is on the track. My running away days are done. I'm home now."

"That's good to finally hear you say. You're still running track?"

"I go out every morning before sunrise, run to town about six miles away then run back. In the Spring, I'm the assistant track coach at the high school. It doesn't pay much, but that's okay. It's more for fun than for profit."

"Good Lord, Ponyboy! To think I worried so much over you. You're a writer, an illustrator and a coach!"

He grinned at me, nodding his head as he pulled out from under my arm. He looked at me with those green eyes of his. He was happy and doing well. It was all I could ask for, all I had _ever_ asked for. And he did it on his own.

Soda was standing there in the doorway, a towel around his middle. "Great shower pressure, Pony!"

"Thanks. I'll let the plumber know you approve. I have some sweat pants if you want to borrow them." He got up but turned to look at me again.

"I'm doing good now, Darry. You don't need to worry so much anymore." He smiled again then went with Soda down the hall, disappearing in the master bedroom.

_I'll always worry, Ponyboy. But now, I'll worry just a little less._

XXXX

Reviews, Please

Calla Lilly Rose


	5. Brothers In Arms

Chapter 5

Brothers In Arms

Soda was already stretched out on the mattress as I came into the room. I looked at him for a moment and realized he still hadn't lost it. His movie star quality was all still there – unchanged by neither time, heartbreak nor war. It had tried it's best... there were a few worry lines now etched on his forehead that weren't there two years ago, and he was leaner than I remembered him being... but he was _alive_. That was the important thing. The _most_ important thing. He opened his eyes and looked over at me.

"You gonna stand there all night, Ponyboy?"

"Nah, I was just thinking." I turned off the lamp and went to shower and got ready for bed. Once I finished in the bathroom I came over to lay down, but Soda's hard stare at my abdomen made me look down too. I had only my pajama bottoms on, which quite frankly was more than I had become used to sleeping in at night.

"What?" I asked, looking down my front and at my pants trying to figure out what had gotten his attention. His expression was one of concern.

"What happened to you?" He said finally, sitting up again.

"I filled out. What, you thought it'd never happen? Working on the ranch and running every day tends to do this." I said sarcastically.

"Not your build, Pony.... _that_!" He put his hand on my lower right abdomen, his finger tracing the scar that stood out like a lightening bolt on my flank.

Instinctively, I covered it with my hand and went into the closet to get a t-shirt. "It's nothing, Soda, just a little issue I had last July."

Now he was out of bed and by my side, lifting my shirt back up as I tried to swat his hands away.

"Somebody stab you?" He asked, his voice a little loud and his eyes ablaze.

"No!.... Keep your dern voice down before Darry hears you! No one _stabbed _me." He kept looking at me and I sidestepped around him to go lay down again. Soda eventually turned off the light and finally lay down too.

"Then what happened?" He said, quieter but still demanding an answer.

I looked at him and smiled. He was still trying to protect me, after all this time. "I had surgery last July. That is simply the scar from it. It's **No. Big. Deal**."

He leaned up on an elbow and looked over at me again. "Surgery.... for what?" He asked, his eyes softening some.

"It's okay, Soda... relax. It's nothing. My appendix went hot and had to come out, I was in the hospital a few days then went home to my apartment. All that's left now is that scar." I looked at him but he wasn't satisfied. I could see _that_ plainly in his eyes. He wanted more information but that was all I had. To me, it really wasn't that big of a deal anymore. "What more do you want."

"When in July?" He asked.

"July 22, my birthday...if you really have to know. Ashley and I were going to go to dinner but this little issue came up as we were on our way to the restaurant. She drove me to the hospital and I was sent to the operating room right away. Didn't even have time to think about it. She was right there, once I was out of recovery.... not leaving my side until after I woke up."

I was remembering again what else had happened _after_ I woke up, and quickly shoved those private thought out of my consciousness for the moment...I didn't need any unnecessary physical reaction to occur that I would have to explain to Soda...especially since he was sharing bed space with me tonight.

"We should have been there, Ponyboy. I _**can't believe**_ you had surgery and _**didn't **_call Darry for it. _**We're**_ your _family_ for Christ sake, no matter what war or separation came between us..**.we three are** **family.**" He was getting mad at me. I couldn't remember a time when Soda had been mad at me...not like this.

I turned on my side to face him. "Soda, don't ...don't be angry. I gave the home phone number to Ashley_ in case_ something happened...but...._nothing happened_! It was a simple surgery and I'm fine now!"

He looked straight at me through the darkness. "Ashley had our phone number and **Did Not Call?**!" He asked incredulously. Pure anger boiled out of him.

"Now you wait **right** there, Sodapop Patrick. Don't you **dare** be angry at her." I had a new tone to my own voice, one I never heard come from my own set of pipes before. Defensive. Protective. Call it what you want, he was _NOT _going to berate her. "She did as I asked. Be angry at **me**... but you leave **her** out of it." I demanded, finally laying back down with my back to him.

He said nothing to me for a while, then said softly into the night. "Well, I guess you do love her, if you're willing to get into it with me about it. I'm just telling ya Pony, we were all going insane searching for you, for _any _clue, any _crumb_ that would lead us to your trail. Look at this from my point of view, if something had happened to you while you were in surgery, it would have been _too late_ for us to get to your side to let you know how we feel. That...that we_ love_ you. Just like with mom and dad... we wouldn't get the chance to say goodbye. That's a lifelong type of hurt, and we've suffered that type of pain enough. I'm glad you love her, that she loves you...but _**we **_are your family... **we** deserve to be in your life too.

I let the silence persist a while longer, then broke it. I felt miserable. "I'm sorry Soda. She was given strict instructions by me to call _only_ if something happened to me, and she only did as I asked." I flipped over and looked at him again. "The last thing I would ever want to do was hurt you or Darry, and I didn't know you weren't … you know... gone."

"You would have known, if you had called." He said in a whisper.

"I can't change the past, Soda." I said sullenly.

"Neither can I, little brother, neither can I." Silence took over and the soft sounds of an owl were heard from somewhere outside the window.

"Hey, Pony....I got something to tell you, seeing as how we're on matters of love and such, but first I need to know what you think of raising someone else's kid." Soda said after a while. I looked over at him to see he was smiling.

I may have been tired before, but I was wild awake now.

"You got back together with Sandy?" I asked incredulously.

"No, Sandy's long in the past. I met a woman in my EMT class. At first she wouldn't have anything to do with me, then one day after graduation she pulls up at the DX for gas with her son in the car. It made sense then... she thought I'd have nothing to do with her if she had a kid. But he's a great kid. His name's Andy...he's two now, almost three. He likes you too, Pone."

"Wow, Soda...you're dating again! It's been awhile hadn't it. What do you mean the kid likes me? He ain't never met me."

"Last Christmas I took them to the mall, Patty and I were...distracted... and he started gnawing on a book. He chewed the part of the cover where the illustrator's name is right off, and I had to buy the book cause he'd damaged it. It was one of the books_ you_ did. I still cant get over the irony of how we've been looking for you for so long and your book's been sitting on a shelf at the house this whole time."

"Her name's Patty? What's she like?"

"Patty Baxter. She's gone back to college for nursing school. It's a one year program that she'll graduate from in June, then she'll be better off job wise. We've been dating for almost a year now."

"How serious you getting, Soda?" He looked at me and I knew. "Never mind." I said, rolling my eyes and flopping back down.

"Oh, Pony. .. don't judge me. I'm being careful....more careful than ever. Not all of us have the same control_ you _seem to have. I doubt there's any other guy on the _planet_ with the amount of control you seem to have, now that I think about it. But I do love her...her and her son. They're a package deal."

I looked at him closely, remembering another time when he told me in the moonlight about how in love he was and what a complete catastrophe that turned out to be. "So what do you plan to do about it?" I asked.

"I haven't figured that out yet." He said.

"Oh, Soda!" But I was happy for him, he'd been through so much with getting his heart broken once then sent off to war against his will. I suddenly remembered what he told me, about being shot, and I felt apprehensive about it. I've seen first hand what bullets did to flesh...images of Dally coursed through my brain. I willed them away, Soda was here, alive and well....or was he? What type of damage had happened to my brother?

"About...about the war....you got hit in the back?" I finally asked, unsure if he'd talk about it.

He turned and looked at me. "Yeah, took one right above my kidney. Steve saw the sniper do it and he ended up getting shot in the process of saving my ass."

"I didn't know he was hit." I said softly, turning away from him to stare at the opposite wall.

"He took one in his leg. His limp is almost unnoticeable now."

I was silent another moment, a question burning in me to ask but unsure if I really wanted to know the answer. "Was it _really_ bad over there, Soda?" I vaguelly remembered the letters he sent me, he never said anything about what he went through. I only knew it was bad from watching the TV and reading the newspapers in the library... until Darry caught me reading them and nixed that for me too. Then after I left home thinking he was gone, I couldn't watch or read anything having to do with the war... or I'd be physically sick for days.

I felt the mattress shift as he moved closer to me, his arm going over mine as I instinctively pressed my back into his chest, my head resting under his. The movement and position was so natural between us that I didn't even think about it.

"War's hell, Ponyboy. But I'm home now. You don't have to worry about it anymore."

I could hear him begin to drift off as he spoke again.

"Pony?"

"Yeah, Soda?"

"I missed you." His voice was barely above a whisper. So faint I barely heard it. I squeezed his arm as it lay across my chest.

"I missed you too, Soda."

As my conscious thoughts began to fade away into sleep, I remembered the last time we had slept like this...with me tucked into him and his arm over me. The white military van was due at the house that next morning and I had cried the whole night before. This night I slept soundly, finally allowing that memory to dissolve away like watercolor paints in a rainstorm. Soda was alive and safe, and I could finally relax again.

XXX

I lay squirrled up on this couch trying to listen to my brothers hashing out old times like they used to in days gone by, and I was content with it. So much like home. I used to lay in my own bed at night trying to overhear their conversations as Ponyboy, over time, drifted farther and farther away from me emotionally; so at least I would somewhat know what was going on in his life. Soda always had a way of drawing him out of his shell, the same shell he kept clamped up tight around me. My house had paper thin walls...it was an older home. But this house was _solid,_ which made it harder to hear anything but the occasional word that managed to penetrate the walls or drifted down the ventilation ducts. While I lay here trying to overhear anything of their conversation but mostly failing to do so, other thoughts infiltrated my mind.

A sad feeling came over me as I looked around the room lit up only by the soft rays of moonlight. Ponyboy was right.... his running days were done... his running _away_ days, that is. He _was_ home. He wouldn't be coming back with us to Tulsa. He wouldn't sleep in the bed left vacant since Soda was drafted, he wouldn't be found perched on the counters reading his many novels. He had gone his own way... and I had to accept it. He had left _years_ sooner than I had expected him to, but he was gone nonetheless.

Thank God we _had _found him, at least now we knew _where _he was and_ how_ he was...but knowing that he wasn't going to be nearby hurt too. We had found him, but knew as soon as we got on the plane to go back to Tulsa, it would be like losing him again. I wasn't ready for that type of loneliness, that permanent loss. My brothers were my world...and it was splintering apart again. Damn.

The thoughts of what was happening to us gave me a headache, and I got up from the couch and meandered back to the kitchen... to the cabinet I saw him get the Tylenol from earlier. I took two and caught a glimpse of a photo by the window. It was of Ponyboy and Ashley, riding the horses and looking as happy as could be. Happier than I remember seeing him look in a long time. The fearful apprehensive look that so often haunted him in Tulsa as the Soc's prowled the streets looking for some young unsuspecting grease to jump was gone. He didn't seem tormented by the memory of Dally dying in the intersection just a few blocks down from my doorstep anymore. He wasn't accidentally starving himself into oblivion here. He was well, healthy, in college, employed and in love. Most of all, he was _**happy**_**.** I couldn't take him from that. I wouldn't even ask him to leave it. I would have to accept leaving _him_ instead. Damn it, again.

I went back to the couch and looked around in the darkness. Only the moonlight casting shadows gave enough glow to see by. The glint of something on top of the piano caught my eye and I went to see what it was, and quickly remembered it was our parent's pictures. I saw them when we first came in but was too busy holding onto Ponyboy that I didn't give the pictures any real attention. Now that I was alone I had a chance to _really_ see them. There, in a new set of silver frames reflecting the moon's rays were the long missing pictures of our parents, seemingly still keeping watch over their youngest son - the one who always needed them the most. I took comfort in knowing they had been with him... in pictures and memories. That was all that was left of our parents that I could give him, and I was glad he took the photos. He had all of us with him... our parents, Soda's picture, the group shot...we were with him every single day that he was gone.

_**Thanks, mom and dad, for looking after him. He's doing good.... but I bet you already know that. You'd be proud of him, too. I am.**_

I could feel the Tylenol finally start to take away my headache and I went to lay back on the couch again. As the pills worked their magic on my pain, it also pulled me into a deep sleep where I finally welcomed the silence from my thoughts.

XXX

_Buzz Buzz Buzz..._

The slight buzzing noise going off woke me up at my usual early hour of 4 AM. I was used to its annoying sound and shut it off, reminded by it that it was time to get up and start another day. This day was different though. As I yawned and stretched, I was aware that I wasn't in bed alone. Soda was still asleep on the other side of the bed and I paused again to look at him. _He wasn't dead_. I was _still_ in shock over it. This was my first full day in over two years knowing that my brothers were_ both_ alive and our friends were doing okay too. The world was right again!

I carefully rolled out of bed trying not to not wake him, realizing 4 AM was not an hour most people got up for...and unless my brothers had changed drastically they wouldn't be up either. I pulled on my running pants and grabbed my sweat top, but just as I touched the door knob, Soda stirred and called out to me in a sleepy voice.

"Pone...where ya going?"

"Go back to sleep, Soda." I whispered. "I'm going running. I'll be back in an hour."

I watched him a second longer as he dropped his head back on the pillow, eyes closed again as he went back to sleep.

Darry was also zonked out in the living room, although _how_ he could be comfortable on the couch like that was beyond me. I managed to leave the house without waking him. He was always the heavier sleeper of the three of us. I woke at the drop of a pin... my nightmares often keeping me on the edge of waking up anyway, then there was poor Soda who had to deal with it. But Darry woke only if a lot of noise was made....and heaven help you if _you _woke him up when he slept. Unless you were sick or had nightmares...and more often than not it was me he had to wake up for, he'd give anyone who woke him up unnecessarily early the what-for. Not anymore. He could finally get some rest now.

As I started my run, I could feel the cold air biting my ears already. I was in for another cold winter, and it wouldn't be long before my morning runs would have to be reduced to jogs around my property. Last year I was able to manage getting around Wolf Creek, but they kept their roads and sidewalks as snow free as possible. I was now out on a country highway, and if any snow clearing was to be done, it would be me doing it. Except for the highway...the state still did that. For now, though, I let those thoughts go and just kept listening to the rhythmical sound my feet made as they carried me off towards town.

XXX

I looked at my watch, 5:10. I stretched my six foot two inch frame out of the confines of the couch and stood up, hearing bones and joints pop as they angrily expressed their dislike of my youngest brother's choice of furniture. _Gonna have to talk to him about that. Yep._ I stretched again, finally working the kinks out and looked around. I figured the boys would still be asleep and went to check on them. It's a rare day when they got up before me..usually I had to pry them both out of bed or they would be late for either work or school. I shook my head at the thought. Ponyboy was no longer a "boy" anymore, he was an adult like me and Soda....well _almost_...he would always be my baby brother even if he _was _eighteen now. I wanted to check on him anyway, I guess it was the leftover "guardian" impulse I still carried around in me.

I crept up to his door and opened it, expecting to see Pony and Soda asleep. Unfortunately.... that's not _exactly _what I saw.

"**Ah **_**hell**_**, Soda**!" I said, slamming the door shut. What I saw him doing was _really_ not something I wanted to see him or any other guy doing...but in my half second glance I knew Ponyboy at least wasn't in the room. Thank God! "I could have lived my whole life without seeing you doing that!"

"Sorry Darry!" He shouted from the other side of the door.

"You better clean up before he goes back in there!" I called over my shoulder as I headed back toward the living room. "Where is Pony anyway?" I yelled back louder as by now I was in the kitchen.

His door opened a few minutes later and came out red faced, dressed only in his blue jeans, and carrying the sheets looking for the laundry room.

"Pony went for a run, said he'd be back around five thirty. I figured you'd be asleep until six."

I scowled at him. Damn his libido. "You figured wrong!"

"I _said_ I was sorry, I had Patty on the brain." He said again, unable to look me in the eyes. He found the washing machine off the kitchen and I set to making breakfast. A little while later I saw Pony running full hilt up his driveway and if I didn't know any better I'd say a bunch of Soc's were after him at the speed he was moving. But no...he just was ….running. I grinned, he was right. He hadn't lost any of his track skills after all. I expected him to come in once he made it to the porch, but when I finished the eggs and he _still_ hadn't shown up, I turned breakfast preparation over to Soda and went to find him.

I shoved my feet in my shoes and grabbed a jacket he had hanging by the door and stepped outside on the wrap-around porch. The cold chill of the early Montana morning hit me like a brick. I was amazed...I knew it got colder here earlier than it did back home...but brrrr...it was freezing! I thought he didn't _like_ cold weather! But with one look..I could tell why he had the house built here on this particular spot. The early sunrise was coming directly in front of the house, and what a sunrise it was. The sun casting it's fiery glow behind those Maple trees already shimmering in different fall hues of reds and oranges lining the driveway was a spectacular site to behold. I had learned to appreciate the sunrises over the last two years...even if I still didn't understand his love for them.

I heard his voice coming off from around the house...out toward the stable and paddock area. Crossing over the yard I saw him, rubbing that big Appaloosa as he ran water into their barrel. The Quarter Horse stood close by.

"Morning Ponyboy." I called, knowing enough about horses to know you don't walk up on them unannounced. That will only spook them causing them to have any sort of reaction including kicking or running...and with Ponyboy in the paddock I wasn't going to put him in danger. These were lessons I learned long ago when Soda, as a kid, was the horse rider in the family. After Mickey Mouse, the horse he wanted so badly but mom and dad never could afford was sold, his horse passion just faded away. Looks like Ponyboy has taken over that passion.

He looked over at me and smiled. "Morning Darry. Did you sleep okay?" He was reaching for the buckets of oats he had on the outside of the fence. I handed them to him and he carried them over to the feed trough.

"Not really. You have GOT to buy some furniture, little man."

"Yeah sure," he said chuckling, "I'll get right on that! Remember, you called the couch!"

The Appaloosa was head butting him now, and Ponyboy finished filling up the trough, scratching the horse behind his ears. "You keeping the horses?" I wondered aloud.

"I think so. No one's called about the ad in over 2 months, and Ashley seems to enjoy riding Hera over there. Zeus here is a good companion for her."

"Yeah, you've named them, you'll be keeping them. Plus you seem rather fond of this big guy. I never pictured you for horses though. Soda was the one who went horse nuts."

Pony bust out laughing at me...a fit of giggles just nonstop every time he looked at me.

"What the hell's so damn funny?" I hated not knowing the joke...and I couldn't send him to his room anymore either.

"Darry..._come on,_ man...... with the name mom and dad gave me....why would I _not_ like horses????"

Oh cute. I get it. Funny. Thanks, mom and dad. Again.

"Are you ready for breakfast?" I asked, upset he put one over on me.

"Not until I take a shower." He said, rubbing Zeus's neck. Standing downwind from him, I silently agreed.

A noise on the driveway got our attention as well as the horses. I recognized the rental car as it came up the road. Steve and Two-Bit were here....figures...just as the food is ready.

"Well, come on then, if there's going to be anything left, you'd better get to hustling."

Pony came out of the paddock and slid the bolt back on the gate behind him. Watching him coil up the hose and put away the gear..I still couldn't believe this was my youngest brother. So grown up, mature, filled out and handling everything on his own.

"Darry...you coming in?" Pony called, breaking into my thoughts.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Hell, Pony...you couldn't have run away to Florida, could you?" I asked, rubbing my arms against the cold.

"Nope...this is home." He said with a smile.

XXXX

Reviews...Please!

For those of you craving drama/angst/action.... it's coming, just wait for it.

And yes...I did change the horse Pony has from Palomino to Appaloosa. That was an error I made in the original story, Splintered Ties that Bind, and I thank the reviewer who pointed it out.

Calla Lilly Rose


	6. Bareback

Chapter 6

Bareback

"Hey Ponyboy! We saved you some breakfast!" Two-Bit was busy slicing a store bought cake and doling out pieces on small plates while Steve was sitting at the table yapping with Darry when I came out of the bedroom after my shower.

"Thanks, Two-Bit," I said, fixing a plate of what little was left of the food. Knowing from memory how much these guys eat, I was probably out of food again already.

"What are your plans for today, Ponyboy?" Darry asked.

I had class but had already decided I was gonna skip. Seeing the guys again after being gone so long gave me good reason to blow off class for one day... but I'd have to go tomorrow. I had a test every week in two of my courses and I couldn't afford to screw it up.

"Thought I'd show you guys where I've been living for the last two years, then swing out to Pembroke for lunch. There's a certain lady I have a standing lunch date with...and not even you guys will make me break it."

Various cat calls and multiple intonations of "ooooh" came my way, and I just smiled.

"I told her yesterday I'd meet her for lunch, and I plan to keep my word. How was the hotel you guys?"

"Nice, Pony! You should see all the crap in my bag..."

"Two-Bit, you're not stealing everything from the hotel are you?" I asked in disbelief.

"Ponyboy, just don't go looking in his bag, that's all I can say!" Steve quipped as he guzzled down the last of my orange juice. "If it wasn't bolted down, he took it."

Everyone had a laugh, then a thought occurred to me. "You guys staying here tonight or are you switching hotels?"

Both Two-Bit and Steve looked at each other then over at Darry and Soda. No one wanted to speak and a knot began to form in my stomach. Finally Darry opened up.

"We got to get back today, Ponyboy. Our flight leaves at four this afternoon."

Silence filled my house. I knew they couldn't stay forever but I wasn't expecting them to leave today. Not this soon. My chest got a tight feeling in it, so I tried to make my next words quick.

"Well, I... um... I know you guys have to get back to work and all." I could feel tears building but I fought them down as best I could. "I'm glad you were able to at least come find me when you saw the ad." My face was as hot as a pepper and my eyes blurred. Just before the first tear fell I excused my self from the kitchen and made my way to the door.

I went back outside to the paddock where Zeus always trotted when I came over. I opened the gate and snapped the reins on his bridle, then managed to hoist myself on him bareback. I gave him a kick and set him off in a run out over the open grounds of my property. Riding bareback was not comfortable by any means, but I didn't care. I used my legs to stay on, not having the safety of the saddle to keep me secured to his back. All I wanted right then was to feel was the wind in my face as it dried my tears.

XXX

"Damn, I knew that was gonna hurt him." Two-Bit said.

"Now what?" Soda asked, looking at me for advice. Unfortunately I had none to give.

"We spend the day with him and at four we get on a plane and go home, Soda."

His glare at me was murderous. He tossed a dish towel toward the counter and stormed out, headed to the porch with me and the guys not far behind. Just as we made it outside, the thunderous sound of a stampeding horse stopped us cold. Ponyboy came charging by, riding bareback on that big black Appaloosa of his...Zeus. We watched him go by then I caught sight of Soda making his way to Hera. Fascinated, I watched him pull himself on her bare back, grab her reins and give her a swift kick. Within four strides he was tearing off after Ponyboy.

"No point going after them. We're out of competent riders as well as horses. Come on. Let Soda handle this, it's what he's good at."

"You don't ride, do you Darry?" Steve asked me as he shut the door behind him.

"Nope. That was always Soda's thing. I didn't even know Ponyboy had an interest in the animals until he cleared that misunderstanding up for me this morning."

"Think he'll be okay?" Two-Bit asked, still searching out the window for them.

"Which? Soda or Ponyboy?" Steve asked looking at Two-Bit.

Which indeed. With those two... separation is as unnatural as having three arms. If Ponyboy had ever known...ever had the _slightest inclination _that Soda wasn't dead, he'd never put himself this far away from home. Would either of them be okay? None of us had that answer.

XXX

"Ponyboy!" I screamed after him, trying to get him to stop. Hera was no match to Zeus as far as speed but she was agile. However, her ability to make sharp turns did nothing for me as I was riding her bareback. I was having to brace myself with my legs to keep from permanently losing my ability to father my own children someday. Up ahead I could see Ponyboy start to reign in Zeus and I was finally able to catch up as Zeus just loped along.

One look at Pony's face and the obvious was plain to see. I hated seeing him upset. Even though we had all aged, it made no difference to me. I hated seeing my brother in pain. He wasn't making any noise, but his eyes gave it away.

"It's not that we_ want _to leave, Pone." I tried, but he just looked away.

"I know you have to go back. You all have your jobs and lives to lead. And you have Patty and Andy..." He said, his voice gruff.

"And you have Ashley and college and all your jobs too. But you can call us and we'll call you, now that we know where you are, it wont be so bad. We'll always be here for you, Ponyboy."

He looked at me, finally, and tried to smile. At least he was trying.

"Pony," I said, trying to adjust my position on Hera. "You ride bareback often?" I noticed he didn't seem in as much_ discomfort_ as I was. Hell, I was trying to use my free hand to lift myself off her back, but that was a pointless effort. Everything in the southland hurt.

"Only a few times. Why?" He looked at me then laughed. At least I could provide comic relief, but at great expense to my ….parts.

"Soda, you should know better with all your riding experience to ride a narrow horse bareback."

"It's been a long time since I rode, Ponyboy." I said grumbling, doubling over as the pain made it's way north.

He turned Zeus and Hera followed, eventually I sat up.

"You're gonna be okay, Ponyboy." He looked at me then over the landscape again. "You have everything going for you here. Ain't nothing back in Tulsa for you, your future is here. You know that too or you'd have come back on your own."

"You guys are there." He said quietly.

"Ponyboy, look at me." I stopped Hera and Zeus stopped too. Pony looked in my eyes and I held his gaze. "Understand this. If you ever, for any reason need us, we'll be here. Darry and I will move heaven and hell to get to you. All you have to do is call. Nothing will stop us from finding you if you need us. Anytime of the day or night. Okay? We'll never abandon you. We love you. Always."

"I know Soda. I just wasn't expecting y'all to leave so soon."

He looked like he was fighting his emotions again and I hated seeing the internal struggle he was having. He always wore his heart on his sleeve.

"Pony, it will hurt no matter how long we stay. And... it hurts me too to leave so soon. Trust me, I don't want to leave, but I...**we**... have to. We'll be back, though, that's a guarantee! But you had better invest in some furniture first or Darry's liable to break your couch!"

He laughed finally and I was glad. The house was ahead and we headed the horses over to the open paddock. Once I slid off Hera, I had vivid flashbacks of being twelve when I rode Mickey Mouse bareback. Granted, the equipment has matured since then, but even bareback in those days it hurt like hell. Now it hurt like hell elevated to the tenth degree. I grabbed my gear and went to my knees. Ponyboy just stood by me snickering.

"That'll teach ya." He said.

"What, you ain't in pain?" I looked up at him with wide eyes, standing there with no discomfort at all. I couldn't believe it.

"Zeus is more flat, Hera is narrow. It makes a difference. Come on, get up and walk it out. I'll get you something for the pain in the house." He pulled me to my feet, locked the paddock gate behind us and we headed inside together.

Darry was doing the dishes while the guys were lounging about when we came in. They looked up at us, curious glances on their faces.

"Soda! What happened to you?" Steve asked, his face all concerned.

I guess my color hadn't returned yet and I was still bent over some. "Never, never, never go riding without a saddle, my friend. I can't express that enough!"

Laughter poured from everyone. Looking at Pony, I was happy to see even he was getting a laugh at my expense. In the long run, it was worth it to see his eyes twinkle again.

XXX

Pony was putting the medicine back in the cabinet while Soda went to change clothes after his bareback romp on Hera. He had quit crying, at least for now. I didn't want to think what he'd be like later at the airport. He didn't have to come, but I knew he would, and it would be a painful thing for us to go our separate ways. Had to be done, no matter how hard it would hurt.

"You okay now, Ponyboy?" I asked softly. He was standing real close to me, then suddenly turned and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, surprised he did this and yet also glad he wasn't upset.

"I'm gonna miss you, Darry. If I can't say it later...and I probably wont be able to, I'm gonna say it now. I love you, and I'm sorry for all the hell I put you through. I never should have left, but I couldn't stay either. I just.... I just...."

"Shhh Pone. It's okay. You did what you had to do. And you've done pretty darn well here. I'm so proud of you. Very, very _proud_ of you. And if you ever need anything, you give me a call. Nothing will stop me from getting to you if need me, okay?" I felt him nod and hoped he wasn't crying again. As he pulled away I saw he wasn't. It would wait until later, of that I was sure.

XXX

Darry, Soda and I were piled in my car later headed up to Pembroke, Two-Bit and Steve following in the rental behind us. It was like old times...except this time I was doing the driving and Soda and Darry were the passengers. Weird. "So what's going on in Tulsa these days?"

"Well, Tim's still in charge of his group, but Curly's in the big house for five to seven years." Soda answered.

"Curly's in prison? Not surprising I guess but what did he do?"

I noticed that Soda started to laugh and roll his eyes but said nothing as Darry went on to explain.

"He knocked up some girl and robbed a gas station to get the money to take care of his mistake. Except he shot himself in the foot as he ran out the door and was arrested. Idiot!"

"Tim wouldn't give him the dough?" This was getting better and better.

"Tim would have given it to him, but Curly didn't think to ask." Soda added. "So now she'd due any time and the father-to-be is in the joint."

"I bet Tim's just tickled about the whole situation." I said almost laughing.

"Let's just say smart people don't bring it up." Darry said with finality.

I looked at the scar on my finger, the small round scar from our game of chicken so long ago. We were a pair of stupid greasers then, and now we were so different. I had a home, fiancée, was making decent money and had a bright future ahead of me. He was in prison with a kid on the way...a kid he'd never be able to care for. Another Robert Frost poem came to mind, _**The Road Not Taken**__. _I shuddered thinking about how little decisions crescendo into major ones later in life. I was finally glad this was the road I'd taken.

I swung the car into one of the parking spots on the campus near the art department. The guys walked along as if they were in church, all quiet and looking around. I found it humorous. This was just about my third home... next to Tulsa and the ranch, and my awe of it had long dissipated. It was school. That's all.

I led them up the familiar walk to the art department doors, then turned to Steve and Two-Bit. "You guys mind waiting here a few minutes. It's a bit crowded in there, and I really doubt classical art is your thing."

Steve rolled his eyes and Two-Bit just smiled. "Tell ya what, Pony. When you get done in there, we'll be in the bookstore."

The bookstore was situated in the same courtyard two buildings over from the art building, just a short walk away. I nodded but lowered my voice. "You keep your mitts off the crap in the store, Two-Bit. For once I _mean _it. No stealing. Not from here."

His eyes laughed at me. "Go on kid. We'll see you in a few minutes. Come on Stevie... lets go shopping!"

I watched them head off knowing what was coming, but shook my head. Turning my attention back to my brothers, I led them inside.

"Pony, what are we doing?" Soda asked.

"There's someone I need you guys to meet." I led them down the familiar hallway and to the office at the end of the hall. As usual his door was open and he was sitting at his desk. He looked up as I came closer.

"Ponyboy!" He said, putting his pen down and getting up from the desk.

"Dr. Benning, do you have a moment?" I asked as we came closer.

"Certainly son. What can I do for you?"

"Dr. Benning, sir, these are my brothers, Darry and Sodapop. They flew out to see me yesterday. Guys, this is Dr. Benning, Chairman of the Art Department and Ashley's father."

Darry stepped forward and shook hands with my future father-in-law, then Soda followed suit.

"Ashley said your family was visiting last night. She explained to her mother and I about your service to our country, Sodapop. I can't tell you how happy I am that you made it home. I'm sure it was very rough for you. Welcome home."

"Thank you sir. I appreciate that." Soda said, turning slightly pink. I don't think anyone had thanked him for his service before.

"Darry, wonderful....absolutely _wonderful _to meet you. You've helped raise a good man here." I watched as Darry stood up straighter and smiled. Yep, he was proud too. Even a blind man could see that.

Dr. Benning looked at me with a questioning eye. "Did you tell them yet?"

I nodded. "Yes sir. They know I asked Ashley to marry me."

He beamed at me and looked at my brothers.

"We're happy for him too, sir. It was a bit of a shock at first, not expecting Pony to be in a relationship, but your daughter seems like a fine young lady." Darry said. I could tell he was clueless as to what to say. I could only wonder how dad would have handled the situation. Time to rescue him from himself.

"I just wanted to stop by and let you meet my brothers sir. I wont keep you any longer, I'm supposed to be meeting Ashley for lunch."

"Well then, you best be going. Darry, Sodapop, it was wonderful to meet you."

"Sir, if you have another moment...may I speak with you in private?" Darry suddenly asked.

"Certainly! See you later, Ponyboy. Sodapop... again....good to meet you."

Darry gave me a little shove toward the building entrance as he and Dr. Benning went into his office and closed the door. I looked at Soda, and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on, Pony, let the proud papa's alone!" He grinned ear to ear, but now I got to sweat it out. "Stop worrying...you already got the girl and her parents permission." He said, almost laughing at me

"Would dad have done this??" I asked quietly on the way outside the building.

"Probably. Mom would have made him!" Soda laughed. Hard to really say what our parents would have done....they were gone way before Darry had ever gotten serious with a girl. Those memories were so far back even I couldn't remember them clearly.

"Hey, handsome!"

A soft voice got my attention. Her soft hand was in mine before I knew what was going on, but I knew those fingers anywhere. Ashley. I pulled her around and held her tight, God she felt good. I looked in those hazel eyes and just smiled, forgetting who I was with or where I was. One soft kiss later, I found my voice again.

"How's class?"

"Science is a pain in my rear, but math isn't so bad."

She looked around, and I realized again Soda was standing nearby. Coming up the walkway were Steve and Two-Bit. I guess they saw. Oh well.

"Having a good reunion with your family?"

I looked back at her, smiling again at first, then dropping my gaze as I remembered I was on borrowed time. "Yes, but they're going back today... in a few hours. We don't have much time."

"Did you want to skip lunch?" She softly whispered, her eyes filled with concern.

"No...a body's still gotta eat."

"Pony...do you want me to stay with you or let you alone today?"

I didn't know....I wanted both. I didn't want to be upset in front of her, but I knew I didn't want to be alone either. By now, the gang was a mere few feet away, hearing every word. Even Darry had come out of the building, Dr. Benning standing at the entrance to the art department.

"Stay." I whispered.

Her arms enveloped me, and I was glad. I was gonna need her strength when mine would be all gone.

"Well, guys," She said in a happy voice, pulling away from me a little. "I know of a real nice restaurant down the road, if you guys are ready to eat."

"Sounds good, Ashley." Darry said. I looked over at Dr. Benning and raised my hand in a slight wave. He nodded back at me, then went back inside. The six of us made our way to the parking lot, Ashley putting her books in her car then joining me in mine with my brothers.

XXX

Lunch was good. It was a diner that Ashley and I ate at on occasion. The guys spent most of the time chatting it up with her, and she was more than ready for the task of navigating everyones personalities. Even Steve seemed impressed with my future wife. Most of all I was glad Darry and Soda seemed to like her. That meant the world to me.

Soon I looked at my watch, we had been sitting there for over two hours, chatting and eating and talking some more. But it was getting late, and I knew we had to go. I got the check and paid for it, and we started out toward the cars. I held Ashley's hand as the rest of the group made their way to the cars, still yapping about some topic they couldn't get over.

"So what do you think of my family?" I asked, holding her close as a cold wind gently blew around us.

"I think they're real fine." She said, wrapping her arms around me.

"They're holding back, you know. They're usually a wilder, crazier bunch." I said softly while looking in her eyes. Damn those beautiful eyes.

"Are you holding back too?" She asked me in a whisper, her eyes half closed.

"You'll find out, one day." I answered softly before pressing my lips to hers, feeling her tongue on mine and tasting that sweet desire again.

"Ahem...Ponyboy?"

Shit. My lips parted from hers and she buried her head against my chest. I looked over to see the guys all looking at me, each with a quirky smile plastered on their face.

"You ready to go?" Darry asked quietly.

I looked at Ashley, who's face had turned pure crimson but her eyes were twinkling like Christmas. She nodded her head and we turned to join my family in the car.

XXX

We rode back to my house and got all their things packed up... I stayed out of the way, sitting in the study and looked at the pictures on my desk and bookshelves. I didn't know how I could do this again. The first time I left home I was running for fear of the police and from jail. The second time I left home it was from desperation. Of pain so intense I couldn't comprehend it. Now I had to let them leave me here, leaving me with only memories of a day together. One day. Somehow I would do it, just at that moment I wasn't sure how.

A knock on my door broke my gaze from the group shot. "Yeah?'' I called out.

Soda stuck his head in the door. "Pony, we're ready to go." He said softly. I looked up at him. "You don't have to go with us....we'll understand."

"No." I said. "I'll go." I got up and went to the study door, but Soda came inside and closed it instead, leaving just him and me inside it. I looked at his face and was surprised to see tears streaming down his cheeks. It started my own river of tears falling down over mine. And to think I was trying to be strong. I didn't even make it out of my house.

"I love you, little brother. You_ always _remember that. I may not be here with you every day and get to see you as much as I would want to, but _never_ doubt that I am always with you..._here_..." He put his hand over my heart and I put my own hand over his, pressing it to me. "And if you ever..._**ever **_need me, you call me." He moved his hand and pulled me into a tight embrace...reminiscent of the bruising ones I gave him the night before he left for the Army. A desperate embrace to hold onto something that you know you must let go of. Even if it kills you to do so. "I love you, Ponyboy Michael Curtis. And I am so proud of you too." He let me go, wiped his tears and smiled. "Lets go."

XXX

They returned the car back to the rental office and we went to the terminal that the flight back to Tulsa would be departing from. I didn't know what to say...what_ do_ you say when your family leaves you all at once? Finally as they called for the boarding of the plane...so many words came to me that I would never have time to say them all.

Steve came over to me first and put a hand on my shoulder. "Damn, Ponyboy. Sure am glad we finally found you. Don't you _ever_ do a stupid stunt like this again, you hear me? And get your ass back to Tulsa first chance you get." A moment passed with his hand still on me, then without looking at me, he said softly, "I'm proud of ya kid. You did good. Real good." He squeezed my shoulder, then walked passed the guys and went down the walkway toward the plane, around the bend and out of site.

Two-Bit came next, and I was already starting to lose it. "Hey now..." He pulled me into a hug, whispering words everyone could easily hear. "You done good kid. I'm proud of you. You made it out...just like we all hoped you would. You showed those Soc slime balls that not every greaser is going nowhere. Look at this, you got a great home, great jobs, a college education and a lady who truly cares for you...loves you, man.._** loves**_ you. And us for friends! What could be better than that?"

"You're not my friend, Two-Bit... you're part of my family!" I buried my face on his shoulder, not able to hold back any more.

"You're gonna be alright. Pony. I love you too, kid. Just like you were my own brother." He pulled away from me, wiped a tear from my face, ruffled my hair and followed Steve down the walkway.

Only my brothers were left, and they both came and held me, one on each side. I didn't want to let them go, but had no choice. The ticket lady smiled at me, trying to hurry us up, but I could have stayed in their arms forever.

"Ashley." I heard Darry's voice call out softly. She had been sitting in a chair not far away, watching us but not interfering. She got up and came over and Darry pulled away from me, allowing her to take his place. Soda also let go, his face red as he wiped the last of his own tears away. "You take care of our baby brother. He's a good man, worthy to have as your husband. When is the wedding?"

"May 10th" She said. I nodded, not able to speak. I slipped my arms around her, and she also held me close.

"Then I look forward to that day, when our family grows by one." He turned to me. "If you need us, Ponyboy, call us. I love ya. See you again soon." He and Soda turned and went to the walkway. Darry went on ahead, but Soda stopped a moment and turned to me one last time.

"I love ya, Pony. Don't ever forget it." Then he turned and followed the rest of the group.

With that, the ticket lady closed the door to the walkway. A few minutes later I heard the engines get louder as the plane backed away from the terminal. I wanted to watch but couldn't. My eyes ran over with tears and Ashley pulled me to her. A few minutes later I managed to look out the window and see their airplane leave the ground headed south to Oklahoma, to the world I left behind.

"Come on, Ponyboy. Lets go home." Ashley gently said, and I followed her lead. My home was here.

XXX

Reviews would be GREATLY appreciated.

Calla Lilly Rose


	7. Flights OF Fancy

Chapter 7

Flights of Fancy

XXX

It wasn't long into the flight when I noticed Steve and Two-Bit starting to get into it. At first we had all been sitting there, reading quietly and looking either out the windows or at other passengers on the flight. Soda just sat there not saying a word, and I could tell he was as upset at having to leave Ponyboy as I was, but he wasn't taking it as well. I guess the guys wanted to liven up the mood for us as they started out with subtle antics, like drawing obscene pictures on pieces of paper and passing them to Soda...I simply crumpled them up and put them in the puke bag in the seat back. Then they began to nudge the backs of our seats...then the nudging turned into "accidental" kicking.

I had noticed the stewardess looking over at us every now and then...at first just curious as if to see if we needed anything, then as they kept at it getting more and more out of hand her attention became one that said "not -on- my- flight." I looked back at the guys trying to get them to knock that shit out... but they weren't gonna pay me any mind unless I knocked some sense into them with real muscle. Finally they did it to themselves...one punched the other in playful jest. I knew they were just joking...but the rest of the passengers obviously weren't so understanding. Before I knew it, the stewardess was standing over us, one hand on my seat back as she glared at the guys behind me.

"Is there a problem here?" She said with an unmistakable tone of authority.

"Um...no ma'am." Steve said with a grin.

"Ya see, miss.... the whole configuration of this here aircraft needs to be altered so that the..."

"**Shut...Up...Two-Bit!**" I hissed over my shoulder at him.

"That would be ..no ma'am. Upon further review..I think we are fine." He said smiling at her. She looked at him another minute then at me and Soda. Soda just continued to stare out the window, unconcerned by what was happening around him.

Finally she walked away back to the planes kitchen area and the guys laughed low where only they could hear each other.

"Good lord, guys...can't the two of you behave yourselves for once? Really! Getting into it on a_ plane_??" I said standing up to stretch. These seats were uncomfortable for my height...and after being cramped on Pony's couch last night then scrunched in his small car all day...I was ready for the roomy interior of my truck and my equally accommodating bed. But I missed my brother already, his car and couch be damned. Looking at Soda, I could tell he still hadn't taken his mind off him either. "If the two of you don't straighten up and act right on what's left of this flight, you can walk yourselves home when we land." I turned and went for a walk around the plane.

I had ventured up the isles and looked out another set of windows, seeing the same clouds around us and even further down the grays and greens of the earth below. I eventually caught myself looking back at the stewardess who had been ready to read the riot act to the bums behind me earlier. She was a little over five foot tall, but had gumption. I liked that. Not many women get to tell Steve Randle to shut the hell up in front of us and have him only say "yes ma'am" about it. Of course that's not_ exactly_ what she said in real words...but we all knew that's what she meant. She caught my glance and stared back. That's when I realized what I was doing and went over to her.

"Hey...I'm sorry about my friends back there."

"They're not gonna cause any more trouble are they?" She asked.

"Them? They always cause trouble, but not the bad type. They wont be disturbing the peace anymore." At least I hoped not. We still had another hour before we were due to land.

"Well, if they do, the Captain will have them detained when we land." She said rather flatly.

"Nah.. I promise, they mean no harm. They're just not used to being stuck in a flying tin can with nothing to do but insult each other for a few hours."

She laughed. "You'd be surprised what I see people do on this route to pass the time."

"What's the wildest you've seen?"

She looked at me and suddenly turned red...just like Ponyboy used to when wild sex was discussed around him by the guys. I doubted the guys even had half the sex they said they did, but they used that topic as their form of entertainment... to see how red they could make my kid brother turn before he left the living room for the relative safety of his bedroom. I never went in for that kind of fun, embarrassing Ponyboy on purpose, and tried to stop it when I caught it happening, but ...devil be damned, he could turn a few shades darker than even Crayola had invented.

"Never mind...I think I get the picture." I said...picture _definitely_ in my mind.

"Thankfully I only have to deal with people trying that out every once in a while. Those lavatories aren't designed for that purpose!" She said, stifling a giggle.

"What other stuff have you dealt with?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh... a few fights, arguments over seating, complaints of meals, airsickness, and of course there is always the crying baby disturbing every other soul on the plane that people think I can somehow fix. Ya know... the usual stuff."

"You're a referee!" I said amazed. I'd love to see what she could have done with my brothers a few years ago.

"Believe it or not, being a stewardess is more than just handing out seating assignments and getting people peanuts during the flight! What do you do?"

"I'm in construction." I said simply. "No frills, no thrills...just long hard work."

"You going home or going on vacation?"

"Going home. Me and the hoodlums there are headed back to Tulsa."

"Well, I'm sure there's an abundance of work in Tulsa for construction. New buildings seem to be going up all the time. They're still finishing the building next to my apartment."

"You live in Tulsa? Where?"

"Oh yeah. Tulsa native, born and bred. I have a small apartment downtown, on Haymarket Street." She looked over the crowd on the flight, making sure no one was needing her, and her eyes settled back on my band of merry men, who were thankfully still behaving themselves.

"Your friend in the corner by the window..he okay?"

I looked over. She was referring to Soda. I sighed.

"He's gonna be fine. Just missing someone we had to leave in Montana."

"Well, this flight goes both North and South twice a day every day of the week."

"Is this all you do? Fly up and down the country?" I asked before I could stop myself. It really wasn't my business where she lived or what she did...but the guys had bored me to this. I didn't want to admit it, but it was nice talking to her. She seemed about twenty-five years old and had off- blond hair with blue eyes. Unlike other women I had known, she was actually interesting. Besides, I had an hour to kill.

"This? Oh heck no. I attend the university too. I only do this on Tuesdays and every other Thursday. Only two more years and I will have my Bachelors degree in accounting. Until then, its seat assignments and peanuts....and breaking up what ever in- flight arguments come up. Not to mention passing out drinks...which if I don't get started on, the head attendant will have my head for."

I realized I was in her way. "Oops, sorry bout that." I said, moving so she could get the cart by. "My name's Darry." I suddenly said.

"Shelly." She returned with a smile.

"I'll...um...I better get back to my seat now. Sorry again for the idiots over there."

"Oh...they may look tough...but I've seen worse. I've been doing this gig for a long time."

"Can I take you out to dinner? Um...after your work is done and all. If you can, that is." Where the hell that came from I didn't know...but once it was out there I couldn't very well take it back.

She looked at me with a confused smile. "I don't usually finish up work and get home until almost eight." She said.

"I'm an adult without a curfew. No pressure though. If you want to, great. If not...I understand. I'm ah... gonna go sit down now. You know where to find me." I turned and went back to my seat. What the heck I just did I didn't know, but was even more shocked when a few minutes later, as she brought the peanuts and Coke wagon to our seats, she smiled at me and gave me an extra folded up napkin. After she passed by, I opened it.

"_Dinner sounds great. Pick me up at 8:30 at my apartment. Shelly"_

Her address was below the note and I folded it up and put it in my pocket.

"Darry, you passing notes now?'' Two-Bit said, a touch of teasing humor in his voice.

"Yeah...she said the cops'll be waiting for you lazy bums at the gate when we arrive."

"Oohh... goody! Tulsa's finest. Now _that's_ a welcome home!"

XXX

I dropped the guys off at their houses once we made it back to our neighborhood, and eventually Soda and I went up our own walkway. I looked at him, he seemed to have aged 10 years in the last few hours and hardly said a word since leaving Montana.

"Soda..you okay little buddy?" I asked carefully.

He was looking down at the toy bucket Andy had in the living room. He sat down on the couch and was silent a long second before he said simply... "yep."

I watched him turn his head to the bookshelf and reach for the chewed up book we now knew Pony had drawn. He said nothing as he slowly turned each page.

"He's okay, Soda." I said softly, sitting next to him on the couch. "He's doing all the things we had hoped for, and a few extra too. He's just... fifteen hundred miles further away than I expected him to be."

"I know." He said, suddenly standing up. "I'm gonna go over to Patty's, spend some time with her if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, go on. See ya later."

He put the book down and went to change clothes, coming out a few minutes later dressed up.

"Behave yourself, Soda." I said as he left the house.

"I always do... but I ain't Ponyboy." he said, calling back to me as the door closed.

Nope, only Ponyboy has that much control. More power to him for it.

ZZZ

I looked at my watch as I pulled up to her apartment. 8:35. I was a few minutes late, but hoped she wouldn't mind. I took the flowers and went to knock on her door. It opened a few heartbeats later.

"Shelly?" I asked. I hardly recognized her. Her hair was laying softly on her shoulders cascading down her back, and she wore a soft blue dress with heals, giving her a few extra inches of height.

"What...you didn't think I was gonna stay in my work clothes did you?"

"You look nice. These are for you." I handed her the flowers I picked up from the supermarket on the way over.

"Thank you! Come in while I get them in some water."

I went in and looked around. It was a small apartment. The kitchen and dining room were basically the same room and the living room was big enough for only a TV and 2 chairs. Another room was off the hallway.

"Ready?" I asked her.

"Sure!" She said, and I opened her door for her, ready to go eat.

XX

Dinner was great. She talked about her job and the many places she's been to, about her school and the things she wants to after graduation. I told her a little about being my brother's guardian...but not much. She was...I admit it....fun to be with.

"Darry, this has been fun but I have to get back home. It's been a long day, and I have to get up for classes in the morning. Do you mind?"

"No, Shelly...I don't. I'm sorry I've kept you out so late. I don't want to be the reason you don't do well in class tomorrow."

"Don't be ridiculous! I haven't had this much fun in ages."

I took her back to her place and walked her to her door. "Coming in?" She asked me softly. I smiled.

"Exactly what did you have in mind?" I wondered aloud once we were behind closed doors.

"I have some wine and beer in the fridge. You can have whatever you like."

"No thanks, I'd rather not. But I appreciate the offer."

She stood very close to me, then without thinking about it, I held her to me, feeling her in my arms. And the surprising thing was, she _let _me. My hands ran all over her body, feeling her curves and then dipping around to the small of her back. It had been ages since I had been with a woman, but the memories of what to do and when to do it were as fresh as ever. Just as my fingers were beginning to undo the buttons on her dress...my senses came back to me and I let her go.

"What's wrong, Darry" She whispered, wrapping an arm around my middle.

"_What's wrong_?" I repeated incredulously. "I just met you. This is too......_fast_....don't you think? Or do you do this a lot?" I didn't know what to say. I wanted to apply the brakes and yet put it into fifth gear at the same time. Lord knows I was ready. Logic verses longing wasn't working too well for me.

"No, I don't do this a lot....or _at all _for that matter. I never have time for relationships...flying all over the country a few times a month and going to school full time. I'm sorry, I just wanted ….. I mean, I just.....I like you. If you want to leave, I understand. I don't regret anything though."

"Would you regret it in the morning?" I had to ask.

She walked around me, standing in front of me. "No." She said firmly. "Would you?"

I picked her up and gently leaned her against the wall, kissing her softly at first, then deeper and deeper still. My hands held hers out and slightly over her head, against the wall. She could break free at any time from my grip and I wouldn't hold her by force, but I made my meaning clear in my words. "You need to tell me either to leave and leave now, or show me the way to the bedroom. It's your choice and I wont regret either decision you make. This choice is up to you. I'm prepared for whatever you decide."

Her eyes sparkled like firecrackers in the night, and her lips met mine in a hunger I hadn't expected. She reached over with one hand and bolted the front door shut, then led me down to the room at the other end of the hall. The hour was late, but the night was just beginning.

XXX

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Calla Lilly Rose


	8. Changing Tides

Chapter 8

Changing Tides

"So your brother has finally been found?" Patty asked me, smiling at me as I stood on her doorstep. I nodded, half smiling at her. "Then why do you look so miserable? I thought this is what you've been waiting for since you came back from the war." She grabbed my sleeve and pulled me inside her front door. I took off my shoes and coat then sat next to her on her couch.

"I dunno." I said, unable to smile about it. I couldn't feel happy. I _was _happy, I just didn't feel it. Ever since I last looked at him in Ashley's arms, his face all red with tears streaming down, I haven't been able to get that image from my brain. "He's doing great. He's grown up a lot since I last saw him, a few inches taller and filled out more like Darry in build. He's got a house and lots of land. He's even in college now. He's engaged. _Engaged_ for God's sake! It's almost like I don't know him anymore, he's changed so much. It's still him, but it isn't...somehow."

"When you last saw him he was sixteen, right?" I nodded. "People do change, Soda. You're not the same man you were two years ago either, I bet. He's had to deal with a lot, but if he has all those things he seems to have done well despite the chaos he had to endure to get to where he is now.

"He doesn't need us anymore." I said, unable to keep the despair out of my voice.

"I doubt that. He's just grown up without your noticing, but I'm sure he still needs you. You still need Darry, don't you?"

"That's different." I said, nudging some of Andy's forgotten toys away from my feet.

"No it isn't. You need both your brothers just as they need you and they also need each other. You just need each other in different ways now. He's not a young teenager that needs protection and guidance anymore, and since that was the last role you were needed to fill, it's understandable that you feel lost. He still needs you, and in time you will discover the new role you have in his life. He's your brother, and he will_ always_ need you. But you found him. He's safe, thank God, and doing well. You and Darry did your job and did it well! I only hope I can do as well with Andy." She glanced down the hall in the direction of his room. I got up and crept to his door, peaking in at him as he slept.

He was curled up in the middle of his bed, a stuffed bear under his arm sound asleep. I smiled then closed his door. Patty was still on the couch when I sat down with her again, this time closer so I could feel her next to me.

"He have a good few days without us?"

She smiled and lay her head on my shoulder, nodding. "He missed you and the guys. Mom actually seemed glad to watch him again. I think she was actually beginning to miss her old babysitting job. Who'd have thought!"

I looked at her, tired after such a long emotional day. I felt whipped.

"Soda, you look so exhausted. Have you had dinner? What can I do for you?"

I looked at the toys scattered on the floor again. "I'm really not hungry. I probably should go." But I didn't move. I closed my eyes, leaning back on the couch.

"Yeah, you probably should!"

I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was quietly laughing at me. We both knew I wasn't going anywhere. Her bedroom was down the hall and I stood up, holding out my hand to her. She took it and I pulled her to me, embracing her just as I had been for the last year.

"I love you." I said to her at last. I hadn't uttered those words to a girl since Sandy destroyed my heart so long ago. I never thought I would want to say them again, being hurt like that is pain I didn't want to repeat. But I realized if I didn't take that chance I might miss out on something greater than what I had now.

She looked at me, a devilish grin on her face. "Don't you ever forget it!" She said back, holding me tightly. "I love you too."

I kissed her, beginning to feel the heat build up in me. I led her down the hall to her room and closed the door behind us. Patty's mother was out working and Andy was asleep. We were essentially alone in the house.

My worries, laying pent up for so long deep within me, poured out of me that night as I made love to her again and again. My family was at long last reunited, the horror of Vietnam was released from my soul and I could be free to feel whole again. Complete in every way.

Patty was obliging my every physical request and when I was finished... physically and emotionally spent, I collapsed next to her, holding her close. My deep breathing relaxing as she tenderly kissed me while I began to fall asleep in her arms.

"Welcome home, Soda." She murmured to me. That was the last I remembered until the first rays of dawn glimmered over the horizon again.

XXX

"Hello?" My voice bounced emptily across the house. Darry's truck wasn't here and it wasn't time yet for the ambulance crew to pick up Soda. "Anyone home?" I called down the hall. Looking in the rooms I only saw the unpacked baggage sitting idle on both the unslept -in beds. Darry's tools still lay in the chair he always put them in over in the corner of his bedroom. _Hmm.. this is weird._

"Hello?" I heard Steve's voice booming in the living room.

"In here, Steve." I called to him. He poked his head in Darry's doorway at me.

"What are you doing in here? You know Darry'll bash your head in if he finds you messing with his stuff."

"They're not here." I said rather seriously.

"Whaddya mean?" Steve asked, finally coming completely in the room.

"I _mean_...they aren't here. Neither of them. Darry's tools are still here and it don't look like either of their beds were slept in."

"Who the hell are you now...Goldilocks or something? Soda's probably at Patty's and Superman's … well … " Steve's voice trailed off as he scratched his head, obviously unable to finish.

"Precisely my point. Where is he?"

"Where's who?" Darry's voice shot out over ours as he came in.

"Hell, man, scare us to death why doncha." Steve said, hitting Darry on the chest with a right hook. Darry simply sent him sailing out the open doorway into the hall a few feet.

"Why are y'all in my room?" He asked, but my attention was captured by the cylindrical red mark that now adorned his neck. My eyes opened as I realized what that was. I said nothing, appreciating the fact that I had all four limbs still attached to their original locations and planned to keep it that way.

"Come on Steve, lets go to work." I said, half pulling him out their door. "Later, Darry!" I called over my shoulder.

"Two-Bit, hold on you idiot." He said as I forced him out into the sunshine then further out their gate.

"Well, Steve, I don't know where Soda is and I don't know where Darry's been, but I can reasonably guess what he was _doing _last night!" I said almost ready to squeal.

"Two-Bit, what the _hell _is your problem?" Steve was trying to put on his coat while lighting a smoke.

"Ole' Darry's sporting either a fading football tattoo on his neck or he's got a hickey. And I don't recall seeing it on his neck during our flight home yesterday." I said, happily.

Steve just looked at me, then back at the Curtis's front door and back at me again. Finally he shrugged his shoulders and smirked.

"'Bout damn time." He said. "Maybe now he'll stop getting gray haired from nonstop worry twenty- four hours a day. Learn to relax a bit."

I looked at him, surprised he wasn't more amused by our fearless leaders sudden turn toward womanly action.

"Two-Bit, he's twenty- six years old! He ain't no sack of shit in the looks department either. If he wants to go get some, why shouldn't he? Hell, I think he's earned that right."

That left me stunned. I never thought of it that way, forgetting that Darry was our age. Still, for the always reserved and ever-cautious Darry to be getting some, it was only a sign of changing times ahead. Steve got in his car and revved the engine.

"If you see Soda, tell him 'hey' for me." He called out the window as he pulled away. I nodded and waved. I looked at the house again then at Steve's disappearing car and sighed as I climbed back into my own work truck. Yep, things were definitely changing.

XXX

_Ding Ding_

I looked out the open garage bay door to see the sedan at the pump. "Jim, Customer!" I hollered, but he didn't respond. "Jim!" I shouted louder. No response. Tossing the wrench down, I went on out, grumbling to myself about the lousy help the boss hired to replace Soda.

"Yes sir, what can I get ya?" I asked, peering into the car.

"Boots, Randle. You still owe me a pair of boots!"

I blinked, then opened my eyes wider. "LT!"

He got out of his car and I didn't know if I was supposed to salute him or shake his hand.

"Just Dan now, Dan Howell. How ya been, Randle?"

"Good, sir! What are you doing here?"

Last time I saw Lt. Howell, I had puked on his boots after getting out of surgery in Vietnam. I remembered then that he was the one responsible for my receiving the Silver Star. His fancy flying saved both mine and Soda's asses that day... and hundreds of others while he was there.

"I'm looking for a mechanic." He said with seriousness in his face.

"Whaddya mean, sir?"

"Randle, you're the best damn chopper mechanic I've ever seen. You can make a tin can fly out of spare parts. While you ain't shit _in_ them, you're all that and more_ under_ them. I'm flying the birds at the airport and am less than impressed with the imbeciles they have there under current employ. I thought I saw you last night in one of the terminals and have spent the better part of the day hunting your sorry ass down." He looked around at the station and down the side streets. "Certainly your aspirations are higher than this!"

"You offering me a job, sir?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, I have some influence and can highly recommend you to the boss. All training is included. You'll get paid while you go to school, takes six months. Once you're done you take your exam, pass it and go full time at the airport. Or," he said looking around again, "you can stay here."

I looked at him. Was this real?

He reached into his pocket and handed me his card and a five dollar bill.

"Think about it, Randle. You're a damn good mechanic... but this is small compared to what you can do, not to mention what you can make. I wouldn't have hunted your shot-up ass down if I didn't think you weren't worth it. Call me tomorrow if your interested, otherwise, fill 'er up. Where's the latrine? I got to take a leak."

I pointed in the office and pocketed the card. A few minutes later he came back out and got in his car.

"By the way, how's your buddy doing? The one you nearly died saving?"

I smiled. "He's doing great sir, thanks to you."

He pulled his shades down on the bridge of his nose and looked at me, all serious again. "You're the one who saved his life. I just got us the hell out of there. Call me tomorrow." He put it in drive and drove off.

For the rest of the day, with every customer who came in, I thought about it. I remembered having these same feelings a few days ago while I walked the busy corridors of the mall. I needed a career change. I was getting older and while working on engines was both what I usually enjoyed doing and what I was damn good at, I quite frankly wasn't enjoying it anymore. Especially now that I had to work with individuals seemingly lower on the food chain. Time for me to take that risk too. I'd call LT...I mean Dan... tomorrow. For now, I still had to finish that Chevy in the garage.

CLR

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Calla Lilly Rose


	9. Snow Versus Gravity

Chapter 9

Snow Versus Gravity

I looked out my window at the snow covering the ground, sighing. The weather reports and news stories were covering the early winter as if it were the storm of the century, but it didn't look that bad to me. Maybe a foot on the ground now and more expected later in the week.

Zeus and Hera were standing stock still in the paddock enjoying it. I had put their coverings on them and they also had the option of going into the stables where it was warmer and drier. However, they seemed to have chosen the snow.

I continued to pack my suitcase, putting enough clothes in for a few days vacation with my brothers back home in Tulsa. Granted, they had only been gone for a few weeks, but I missed them something fierce and it was also Soda's birthday in two days. I had missed enough family birthdays, and was planning to surprise them by just showing up on their doorstep. No one knew I was coming, just Ashley and her family knew of my plans as they had agreed to care for the horses in my absence.

It was the perfect time too. Classes had been canceled at the college due to the central heating system going into overload and frying all the wires. It was so cold yesterday that we all saw our breath as small clouds of smoke as we sat nearly freezing to death before even the professors gave up teaching in protest of the conditions.

I forced myself to finish the art for John's book yesterday and took it to his office after classes were canceled. I knew I wouldn't want to work on it while I was in Tulsa and didn't want the looming deadline hanging over me when I got back either.

"Ponyboy...what a surprise!" He had said when I showed up unexpectedly at his office.

"I finished the art work, Mr. Quinn. Thought I'd bring it by for your review."

"For the last time, Ponyboy, call me John. Now lets see what you've got."

I handed him the portfolio and he went through every page, nodding and grinning as he studied every drawing. I busied myself looking out the window of his high rise office, watching the snowflakes gently fluttering to the earth below.

"As usual, wonderful work. I'll get this to Donald later today. I heard you have exciting news."

I looked at him quizzically then remembered Dr. Benning and he were friends. Word gets out in small towns. I smiled as realization hit, nodding at the same time.

"Yep. I'm getting married, but not until May though."

"I bet you're excited." He said, putting the portfolio in his briefcase.

"I am."

"You don't seem like it." He said carefully observing me.

I smiled and pulled my attention back from the snowflakes. "The last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I'm just waiting for things to settle back down again."

"Good luck with that! If I remember correctly, it was a three ring circus when my wife's family planned our wedding....and that was a good fifteen years ago. I was so glad to get that over with! I doubt Alfred is going to be any different where his only daughter is concerned. Best of luck to you, Ponyboy. You're going to need it!" He said with laughter in his eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh in agreement. Ashley's mother has already had me tasting cake and asking me what meat I prefer at the reception.... chicken or beef. To be honest, I really didn't care. Hamburgers and hot dogs sounded good to me, but I had the good sense to not say that to her.

"Hey, when is your book coming out?" He asked suddenly. I had told him I got it published by Croft-Drake Publishers, and he had been impressed.

"Next week. They sent me a few advanced copies, but I left them at home."

"Exciting, isn't it?"

I couldn't help grinning in full agreement. "Oh, yeah. I've waited a long time for this."

I smiled now as I looked at the books tucked into my suitcase. I hoped Darry and Soda would be impressed with them too.

"Ponyboy, you home?"

"Back here." I called out. A moment later Ashley's arms wrapped around me and I turned to give her a kiss. "I can't believe you drove out here in the snow." I said, brushing away the few remaining remnants of white from her soft hair.

"I had to see you off, didn't I?"

"Are you sure you can't come?" I asked again. "I can still get you a ticket at the counter." I had been trying to persuade her to go with me, but she was as stubborn as I was at times.

"I already told you, I can't. I'm behind enough as it is in my science class and can use the time to get caught up. Not all of us are as gifted with good grades as you are."

I shook my head. I had finally earned one "A" and suddenly I was deemed "gifted" again.

"Besides, you need to spend time with your family. I would only be a distraction."

"I love you being my distraction." I said, pulling her closer.

"You have a flight to catch." She said, pushing me backwards onto my bed. I held onto her as we fell together on the mattress, her landing on top of me. She didn't expect that and tensed right up. I let go and she scrambled off me, disappearing down the hall. I lay there a second longer, relishing the momentary feel of her body on mine. She was so light and soft. _Damn! _I thought. _May wouldn't get here soon enough!_

I got up and closed my suitcase, following Ashley down the hallway. Surprise and a little embarrassment hit me as I saw Dr. Benning sitting at my table waiting on me. I should have known he'd never let her drive in this weather alone.

"Ready to go, Ponyboy?" He asked, getting up.

I looked at Ashley then back at her father. He obviously hadn't heard us in the bedroom.

"Yes sir. Thank you again for dropping me off at the airport and helping with the horses while I'm gone."

"It's not a problem, son. Our pleasure."

He took me to the airport and shook my hand at the terminal. "Now you have a great time with your family. Call me when you get back and I'll be here to pick you up. Even if I have to harness the horses to a sleigh, considering all the snow we're getting! Ashley, honey, I'll be waiting for you at the food court. Bye, Ponyboy!" He shook my hand and disappeared.

"I like your father." I said to her as I watched him leave.

"That's good, cause he likes you too." She said, wrapping her arms around me.

I pulled free, knowing if I held her longer things would get started that I would be unable to stop. She knew too, I could tell by her smile. I think she found it humorous how she could get me so wound up knowing I had no way to wound down. At least not in public.

"Look, you stay here with your mother and all your girlfriends. Plunder all the bridal shops and magazines. Order the napkins and design the invitations. My only job at that wedding is to show up and say 'I do.' I know that's what you want to do. Your science work, I'm sure, is going to wait!"

She giggled and finally nodded.

"_Flight 812 to Tulsa, now boarding._"

"That's me. I got to go. I love you." I said, brushing my finger along the side of her face. I gave her a long kiss and held her, finally she pushed me toward the gate. I smiled and walked on down the ramp to the plane.

XXX

I settled into my seat over the wing of the plane and looked around. This was the first time I had ever been on one and was having major butterflies in my stomach. My fellow riders didn't seem so nervous. There was a smattering of all types on board. The old, the young, couples and singles. I noticed a few kids in the back a few rows down from me, their harried mother trying to keep them occupied with crayons and a coloring book. They weren't buying it....more intent on bouncing up and down on the seats. The plane moved and I looked back out the window and caught sight of Ashley in the Airport terminal looking at me, waving. I waved back. I missed her already.

The stewardess was busy explaining to us about how to buckle the seat belts and then pointed to the the doors in the event of an emergency, explaining how the doors open and an emergency slide just pops out. She also mentioned how the seats become flotation devices if we land in water. I began to really get nervous, thinking if they're giving all these disclaimers up front, what the heck I was in for later on. However, I think I was the only one paying her any attention, everyone else was busy still getting comfortable in their own seats.

I felt the sudden surge as the plane roared down the runway and the lurch as we separated ourselves with the earth below. I grabbed onto the arms of the seat as we climbed into the sky, regretting now that I had a window seat. I just kept my eyes closed, and remembered to breathe in and out. Finally we leveled off and I began to let go.

"Are you okay?" A lady asked me.

I opened my eyes to see a stewardess leaning over the seat looking at me. She had big blue eyes and sort of blond hair. Her name tag said Michelle.

"I'm fine...thanks." I said quietly. I hated making a scene.

"First time flying?" She asked me.

"Uh huh." I said. "I'm okay now, really."

"Well, okay. But if you feel like you're gonna throw up, you can either use the bags in the seat back," she handed one to me, "or you can use the lavatory. It's around the corner there." She pointed where it was and my eyes followed to where she indicated.

"Thanks, but really, I'm good now." She looked at me again and turned to leave.

I tried to busy myself with reading, but that wasn't working. The magazine in the seat back was filled with pictures of planes and right now, that was the one thing I was trying to get my mind off of. Being airborne.

The kids were back at it, acting up and bouncing around. I turned to look at them, their poor mother was as frazzled as she could be. The stewardess brought them cookies and milk, which calmed them down some, but only for a while. I wondered if I was that much trouble for my own mother, but somehow doubted it. Now Soda...yeah, I could see Soda being that way. He couldn't even sit still long enough to watch a TV show.

The food trays were brought out and I looked at mine. The food was barely recognizable...reminding me of what I had in the hospital last year. My stomach felt wobbly again and I got the attention of the stewardess once more.

"Yes?" she asked, kindly enough. I really hoped I wasn't being a problem passenger.

"Um, can you please take this. It isn't doing too much for me. I ain't all that hungry." I said. She smiled and took the tray away, and once the smell dissipated from my immediate vicinity, I felt better. I lay back with my eyes closed, hoping to pass the remainder of the flight in sleep mode. However, the kids had decidedly agreed that no one on the plane was going to get any rest. One last look at their poor mother and I could tell she was ready to either dissolve into her own tears or lock them in the overhead bin. I got up and went over, sitting in the empty seat next to the younger one.

"Hey...can I borrow one of your crayons and a piece of paper?" I asked her. She looked at me then at her mother, who nodded her silent approval. I took the crayon and paper and began to draw her picture, both kids silent as winter on the prairie as they watched me intently. I asked for them to hand me their favorite colors as I drew each of them, and had them tell me what clothes to draw on them. Running out of ideas, I drew their mother who seemed to appreciate the distraction I was providing, but this also distracted me from the nauseating view out my own window. Plus, I think the other passengers in the immediate vicinity appreciated it too. Then I drew eagles and bears for them. The younger one, the girl, fell asleep first but not very long later her brother joined her in slumber in the other seat.

"Thank you. You have a gift, a real talent." Their mother said. "Susan is three and Tommy is almost five."

"My pleasure. You can keep the pictures." I said, getting up to return to my seat, finally able to get some rest. We had been flying for over an hour now and I was eager to pass what time I had left in here with my eyes closed.

XX

A jolt woke me and I grabbed the arms of the seat out of instinct. I looked around, other passengers also seemed dazed by the sudden jarring motion of the otherwise problem free flight, but were recovering quickly. I looked out my window wondering where we were and decided I didn't like that idea again. Then another jolt sent a shudder in the plane and I heard the sound of an engine winding down. Now, I may never have been on a flight before, but hanging around the DX for years with Soda and Steve I did know mechanical noises, and that dying hum wasn't good.

I shot a glance at the stewardesses as they were moving in a calm but yet purposeful set of motions of their own. I didn't like it. They were latching doors and moving trays as fast as they could to secure them from unwanted movement.

"Michelle!" I called over to the one who helped me earlier. She looked at me and came over.

"What's going on?"

"Just turbulence. Nothing to be worried about." She said curtly.

Leave it to my gut instinct, but I didn't believe her. "Where are we?"

She was in too much of a hurry to pay me much attention, so I repeated my question, louder this time.

"**Where are we**!"

"Near the Tulsa Airport. We're still over the Osage Indian Reservation. Please stay in your seat!" And with that she went back to her work.

I took one look at her face and her eyes said it all. Something bad had happened and we weren't gonna make it to the airport. I opened the blind over my window and looked out, trying to get my bearings...noting the terrain and the direction of the sun over the land below. The land that, I now noticed, was coming closer and closer in a very unfortunate way.

"_This is the Captain. Please brace yourselves, folks. We've lost both engines and are trying to land, but it's going to be bumpy."_

Bumpy? He's got one hell of a set of balls if he thinks I'm only gonna consider this bumpy!

The plane began to lose more and more altitude and I could feel the plane's belly start to brush into the forest canopy. Then with a sickening ripping sound, the wings were torn off as we nosedived directly into the forest below. The plane tore into at least 2 pieces. Screams pierced the air as all on board were either torn in one direction or the other, the ground and sky turning over and over as the section I was in rolled like a log going down a hill. Loose bags and debris flew everywhere and I was hit by more than one thing after another until all motion seemed to stop. Then the fireball began to build near the rear of the plane. I could feel it's heat and the roar of flame was eerily familiar from my last battle with fire.

I remembered then being back in the church, the heat from _this_ however was enough to melt the rubber off your shoes. I wrenched myself out of my seat and headed for the nearest door, where a tiny patch of blue sky was still visible. Suddenly the cries of the children I had entertained earlier hit my ears and I turned around. The fireball was coming closer but the boy wasn't moving. His mother was dazed and barely able to fumble with her seatbelt, tugging at it to try to free herself. The little girl was screaming and shaking her mother, terrified and confused as to what was going on. Those who could move were headed out towards the exit I was near, but it wasn't orderly at all. They were screaming and shoving, pushing each other out of the way, tripping over the debris that littered the floor. I made up my mind and pushed my way to the kids, closer into the heat of the fire feeling all the while like a salmon going upstream to my own death. Along the way, I grabbed the stewardess Michelle, who looked at me like I was insane.

"**Come on, you got to help me**!" I screamed. That fire was coming closer, and I could already hear the screams of those poor souls who were already in the last seconds of their lives as the flames overtook them.

I got the boy out and handed him to Michelle, who wasted no time in getting the hell out of there. Then I got the mother to her feet and grabbed the girl. I slung the mother over my shoulder and pushed and shoved both her and the child to the door. Fumes from the spilled jet fuel and smoke overtook everything, flames licked at my backside searing the clothes right off my back. Tearing my way through the twisted metal, I made it out just in time. I couldn't see Michelle or the boy, but didn't stop moving until I got a good 20 yards away from the wreckage, when I could no longer feel the heat from the inferno it created. I lay the mother down and the girl looked at me, catatonic in appearance. I couldn't help her with that. The mother had a bad gash in the back of her head and smaller cuts on her arms. I wasn't comfortable doing any other searches for injuries on her, and just let her lay still. Some people were nearby and I called to them.

"Help! I need help over here!"

They saw me and came over. One tended to the mother, the other looked at me.

"You okay sir?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. She's got a boy, Tommy, around here somewhere. The stewardess Michelle took him, she's gonna need to get to a hospital." I said referring to the mother.

"I ain't no doc, but I think you better get to one too."

"I'm fine. There are plenty of people around here who are worse off than me."

The sound of various sirens filled the air as multiple firetrucks, ambulances and police cars suddenly began to descend on the area. All the noises and lights were only worsening my now searing headache. I sat back and watched as someone brought a stretcher and put the mother on it and took the girl with them. People were everywhere, the walking wounded, those needing to be carried, and some already covered with white sheets. I watched two rescue workers putting a sheet over someone in the tall grass not 30 feet away and turned around, throwing up violently in the tall grass.

Getting to my feet again, I headed off in the direction of the setting sun, remembering from my glimpse out my window before we crashed that that was the direction of downtown Tulsa. I didn't want to stay here any longer. I couldn't help anyone here now, and as the dead grew in number I wanted to separate myself from it as much as possible.

I left the area of the crash, walking alone and unseen about a mile or two off into the sparsely treed forest. I became aware of a liquid stickiness seeping down my back and reached to examine it. As I brought my hand to my face I was shocked to see it covered with blood. Suddenly I thought to myself how stupid I was. Once again, I wasn't using my head. I wondered with a giddy detached feeling if it was a Tulsa thing, that I got stupid every time I set foot here. I was hurt from a plane crash that no one here even knew I was on, had walked off unseen into the surrounding woods where I doubted anyone would think to look for survivors. Now, as my vision blurred and my legs turned to jelly, I lay down...suddenly too tired to move anymore and not really caring either. I didn't even feel the cold temperatures that surrounded me. Darkness overtook my vision, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	10. Ashley's Call

A/N I do not own or make any profit from _The Outsiders._ All characters belong to SE Hinton. What a great writer!

Chapter 10

Ashley's Call

XXX

"Hey Darry, did you hear the news about Steve?" Soda called to me while I was in the kitchen cooking.

"No, what news?" I called back. I was amazed at how much information Soda still managed to get on what was going on with who, and where these events happened now that he wasn't at the DX anymore. He was becoming more of an informant for us than Two-Bit was. And even though he wasn't officially a DX employee anymore, he still made it a point to pop into the station to see Steve, dragging his crew along on an almost daily basis, seeing as how this part of town was part of his jurisdiction. It was a good bunch of people he worked with and no one seemed to mind his antics, especially when it meant free sandwiches pilfered from the gas station. He came into the kitchen and grabbed a cola from the fridge, swigging it down in haste. His eyes were lit up with excitement.

"He was offered a mechanics job at the airport working on the planes and helicopters. Seems one of the pilots he worked with in Nam spotted him when we came back from Montana that night, and tracked him down. He took it! Can you believe it?"

I looked at my younger brother standing there and couldn't help smiling myself. Ever since we returned from Montana so many things have changed for all of us. A weight was lifted from the whole gang. Soda hadn't been this happy since before being shipped out. Worry was gone from him. Evaporated into thin air. It's hard to explain it the way it is... words just wont do it justice, but knowing where Ponyboy was and that he was doing well just finalized our hopes that the gang was somehow going to survive this decade where so much tragedy and despair just seemed to hover in the air. I wasn't blind to the fact that Patty helped matters too. She understood him and provided the emotional outlets he needed.

"Working at the airport? That's great! Maybe we can use him as a cheap ticket hook-up once he figures out how to worm the system. Maybe that pilot friend of his can hook us up too."

"That pilot friend of his is one I already owe. He flew my ass to the hospital when I was hit." Soda's voice was a bit nostalgic.

I turned to look at him and knew he was remembering that moment when he went from being the medic to the patient. I regretted ever opening my mouth. He shook his head and put the cola down.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." He smiled and walked down the hallway. "Give me fifteen minutes and I'll come help with dinner!" he shouted over his shoulder as he turned the faucets on.

"Take your time...I got it." I yelled back.

He hadn't been in the shower for five minutes when the phone rang. Two-Bit came in the door at the same time and I nodded to him as he made a bee line for the fridge. I swear, nothing ever changes with that aging hood. He may be getting older, but his antics were the same. Gotta love him for that!

"Hello?" I answered.

"Darry? It's me, Patty. We've been put on alert. Is Soda there?"

"Yeah he is, hold on, I'll get him." I put the phone down and went to the bathroom door, banging on it. "Hey Soda!" I yelled. No answer, but that's never a surprise when it comes to him. He never hears anything over the shower. I opened the door, steam hitting me full on. _No wonder I never have any hot water at the end of the night! _

"Soda!"

"What?" He asked, pulling the curtain back some to look at me.

"Patty's on the phone. Something about an alert."

"Ah_ SHIT_! I just pulled a twelve hour shift!" He griped, reaching for a towel and wrapping it loosely around his middle, then dripped all the way down the hall to the phone. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes. I gave up the battle of language with him a long time ago, but I was still shocked how much both my brothers swore.

_Sorry folks...I tried_. I thought to myself.

"What's going on?" Soda asked Patty on the phone.

"Did y'all hear about the plane crash? It's all over the radio!" Steve shouted as he came barreling in the door going straight for the TV, flipping it on to the news channel then sat on the edge of the couch. Two-Bit went over and sat on the arm of the couch next to him. A plane crash? This was new. I turned off the burner and joined them, trying to overhear Soda's half of his conversation and pay attention to the TV at the same time.

"The plane went down _where_?....... But that's out of our jurisdiction...... Yeah, yeah, I know.......Okay, I'll wait for the call. Love you too. Bye." Soda hung up the phone and found a spot on the couch. I looked at him and shook my head.

"Soda, go get some clothes on." I said. He looked down at the towel around his middle and got back up. Before he made it out of the living room the newscaster was back on.

"_This is a special report. Flight 812, inbound from Helena, Montana, to Tulsa, Oklahoma, crashed earlier today in the Osage Indian Reserve. The flight was a Boeing 707 carrying 132 passengers and crew. Authorities say at least sixty one people have been confirmed dead, at least two dozen still unaccounted for. No one on the ground was injured. Most of the survivors have already been transported to area hospitals for medical treatment. Details are sketchy as the plane went down at approximately 5:42 local time after what has been rumored to be total engine failure. We do know this, the airplane broke apart into three main sections after impact with the ground, leaving a debris field at least a mile long...."_

We all sat there mesmerized at the screen, even Soda stood there holding his towel around him in one hand forgetting my request to get dressed. They had a camera crew at the scene showing the aircraft still smoking from the fire and the carnage around it, including several white sheets dotting the area covering what we all knew were the bodies of passengers who didn't make it. It went on for what had to be another twenty minutes, saying the same thing over and over, nothing new really being said before the channel went back to regular programming.

I felt the hair on the back of my neck go up, realizing it was Tuesday and Shelly would have been on that flight. I hadn't let on to the guys that I was seeing her, trying my hardest to keep some things in my life private...of course coming home with that hickey almost a month ago wasn't very conducive to being secretive...but that was then, this is now. I reached for the phone and dialed her number, letting it ring at least ten times before giving up. I was getting agitated and it was starting to show.

"Soda, go get dressed!" I barked, getting everyones attention.

"Hey, I'm on alert for that. Patty said there's still a couple of people missing and they're trying to find everyone before calling off the search."

"Yeah, good luck." Steve quipped back with a smirk, laying back on the couch. "That plane's in pieces. The missing sap's are probably burned up in the belly of the plane or under it, like charcoal briquettes. That jet fuel burns like napalm...hotter than hell itself."

"Man, that's one hell of a way to go!" Two-Bit said just as the phone began to ring again.

The ringing of the phone put Soda into high gear, as he went sailing past me down the hall. "I knew we'd get activated. Damn!" He yelled from his room as I heard his dresser being opened as he finally searched for his clothes.

"Hello?" Two-Bit answered. I had hoped it was Shelly, calling to tell me she wasn't on the flight but even from my distance I knew it wasn't her. I could hear the high pitched crying coming from the handset even from four feet away. At the first ear-splitting note, he yanked the phone away from his head and winced. I came over and took the receiver from him.

"Who is this?" I bellowed back. Suddenly I stopped. It wasn't for Soda and it wasn't Shelly either. Whoever it was was sobbing hysterically on their end of the call.

"Darry...is he _there_?"

The voice was familiar but it took me a second to get it.

"Ashley...that you?" I asked gently.

"**Yes**! My God yes it's me. Is he there? Please.....?"

Her sobbing dragged that one last word for at least three syllables.

"Honey, is_ who_ here?" I wasn't sure what she was talking about, but her voice bordered on hysterics.

"_Ponyboy_! Is... he..... there?" Her sobs broke between each word.

"No, Ashley, he's not here. Isn't he _there_ in Montana with you?" I was getting a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach...a very bad feeling. I turned back to the TV while talking with her. They had another meaningless update showing the wreckage of the plane on the screen and I scanned it for anything familiar about the people milling about.

Soda, dressed now, was standing in the living room with his EMT bag at the ready and I shook my head at him. He put the bag down on a chair and continued to look at me, same as everyone else in the room. They all listened in on my side of the conversation as intently as ever.

"He flew down.... today.... to surprise Soda.... for his birthday. He was on flight 812. It _crashed _Darry, the plane_ crashed!_"

Her sobs tore loose again and I felt myself getting weak too. I had to have turned pale as I felt the blood draining from my head. "Are you sure he was on that flight?" I asked, my voice just above a whisper. Heads that had returned to the update all snapped in my direction as I asked that last question into the phone.

"Yes! _Damn it yes!_ I watched him get on the plane. You gotta find him, Darry!" Her voice went up a few decibels. "Please! You gotta find him for me!"

"Ashley, are you alone?" I asked, trying to regain control of something I had zero control over.

"Daddy went to Pony's to feed the horses a while ago. Mom went to the store. I just saw the news on the TV and had to call. I had to find out."

"You stay where you are. Don't leave the house ... I'll find out something one way or another here. I have your dad's number and will call you as soon as I know anything. We'll find him, Ashley. Try not to worry." I hung up the phone, worry covering every bone in my body.

I turned to look at the three pairs of eyes burning holes in me. "Ponyboy was on that flight."

You could have heard a pin drop.

XXXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	11. A Needle in a Haystack

Chapter 11

Needle in a Haystack

XXX

"What do you_ mean_ he was on that flight?" Soda asked barely audible. Everyone else just looked at me, waiting for an explanation. I didn't have much to offer.

"Ashely said he was coming here to surprise you for your birthday, and that was the flight he was on." My head just kept spinning in circles around what was happening.

Silence filled the room as the TV continued to show muted pictures of the crash scene. Steve's words about no one surviving if they were in that mess came back to me. It couldn't be true. The phone rang again and I grabbed it, praying it was Ponyboy on the other end. It wasn't.

"Darry...it's Patty again. The crew is en route to pick up Soda... we've been activated. Tell him I'll see him at the scene. Gotta go... Bye!"

She hung up before I could get a word in edge wise.

"Soda, get your stuff, the rig will be here soon to pick you up. You've been activated."

"I can't go! I have to stay here and help..."

"...Soda! Stop and think! I need you to go there and look for him. Patty said she'll meet you there. The scene will be off limits to everyone but emergency people so **we can't go**. You can! It's up to you to go there and look for him. I need you to do this...he needs you!"

His eyes pleaded with me but reality also hit him. He grabbed his gear and nodded just as the rig showed up. He looked at me again then went out the door without another word.

Steve was on the phone when I turned around. "Hey Dan? Yeah...It's Steve....Randle. I need a favor.....yeah, I know I already owe you but this is important. Where's that crash at? ... Think you can fly there? I need to be your extra set of eyes.... To search for survivors, that's why!...... Because a friend of mine was on that plane and he hasn't been found yet....... Great! I'll be there in thirty!"

He hung up the phone and turned to us. "I'll be in the air searching with one of the pilots. The plane went down just west of the Tulsa Country Club...in the Harlow Creek area. It ain't that far away. I got to go, skids go up in half an hour whether I'm in the bird or not." He was grabbing his jacket and heading for the door.

"Steve!" I called. He turned to look at me, pausing with his hand still on the doorknob. "Good luck!"

"We'll find him, Darry. Forget about what I said earlier. We'll find him. What are you gonna do?"

"Hospitals. Two-Bit and I will check out the hospitals. Meet y'all back here when y'all get done. Go on now, don't miss the helicopter!"

Steve jumped in his car and roared out onto the street.

XXXX

The crash scene was roped off by police and everyone had to show their badge to get close. The smell of burned trees and grassy fields mixed with jet fuel and the unmistakable stench of human death drifted over the whole area. It was eerily reminiscent of war, but this was practically in my own backyard! It was maybe ten miles walking distance from my own doorstep. And Ponyboy was in this somewhere?

"Simmons and Jones, grab your gear and go North. Baxter and Curtis, head East. Adams and Walsh, West. Radio if you find anything, other wise I want a radio check every twenty minutes!" The scene boss barked our orders and sent us off into the woods.

Nightfall was less than two hours away and we were gonna lose light quickly. Plus the temperature was already falling, making me worry about hypothermia. I was doing everything I could to remember what I had learned in class about shock and core body temps, praying to anyone up there still watching over us to help me find him before it got too late. I guess I was so worked up in my thoughts that I had forgotten Patty was struggling to keep up with me.

"Soda...geez hon, slow down! I'm all for getting the job done too, but this is ridiculous! What's wrong? Why are you going so fast?"

I heard her call to me as I plowed further into the woods, desperate to find a trail of any sort. I forgot, she didn't know. I stopped and turned to her, despite the coolness of the air she had sweat on her forehead from her efforts to keep up with me.

"Patty...my brother was on this flight. We didn't know until just after you called. My kid brother was coming down here to spend time with us, and now we cant locate him. He might be out here somewhere, hurt. If he's out here, I have to find him." I said as I took her bag from her shoulder and slung it along with mine on my back. I started to continue my trek into the woods but she she grabbed my hand.

"Your brother? The one in Montana?" She asked with open eyes.

"Yeah, he was coming home to surprise me for my birthday. What a hell of a surprise!" I quipped, moving on with her by my side.

"We'll find him. Don't worry." Her voice was more determined than ever and her pace matched mine now as we both eagerly searched the grounds for any trace of human existence.

In 'Nam, I had to search the ground for trip wires and booby traps. I used the same skills to look for blood trails or disturbed earth where someone would have walked on the leaves. The longer I looked the more discouraged I became. There was nothing. Fallen debris and charred metal, but no people. At least nothing in this area. We searched for two hours until we were forced back in by the scene boss.

"No, damn it...I can't go. Not yet...!" I said after she did the last radio check. Her arms went around me.

"Soda, he's not here. We've searched at least 3 miles of area around the perimeter without a trace of anyone passing through here. This isn't helping. Maybe he's been located at the hospital. Come on. It's too dark to see anything. We can't risk getting lost out here." She pulled me into the direction of the base camp and I couldn't help it. I stopped and looked out into the dark woods and called out to him.

"**Ponyboy**!" I shouted. His name echoed in the stillness of the land around me. There was no answer.

"Soda, come on." Patty urged and eventually I followed her out.

XXX

Dan had the rotors going on the launch pad as I showed up. I jumped in and looked at him. "I owe you for this!" I screamed over the roar of the blades. He tapped his helmet and I put on my own headset. "I owe you !" I repeated. He smiled and gave me the thumbs up.

"Randle, one day I'm gonna make you pay up!" I felt the sudden uplift as we left the ground. I knew Dan by now, he loved doing this as much as I needed it done. The excitement for him was the kick.

"Don't bull shit me, man...you already had plans to go, didn't you?" I asked.

He smiled. "I can always use another set of eyes in the sky. Now, who exactly are we looking for?"

"Remember my Medic buddy that got shot? Well, it's his kid brother. He's came down on that flight to spend my friends birthday with him."

"That's one hell of an unlucky family you're buddies with!"

"You don't know the half of it!" I called back. The static on the headset was unnerving.

"You realize he may not have made it out?" Dan looked at me skeptically.

"Yeah, but this kid's special. He's got nine lives at least. Worse than a cat. He's gotta be out there." I started scanning the area as we came close to the crash site.

"Aww, man....!" I said without meaning to. My heart sank. It looked worse from up here. A rut carved into the ground went at least a quarter mile back from where the still smoldering main body of the plane came to rest, twisted in the dirt. Most of the bodies had already been removed from the ground around the plane but lots of wreckage remained.

"I hope that kid had at least one life left in him." Dan remarked as he turned the bird to the perimeter of the woods. He flew around the scene in ever enlarging circles. We did manage to spot some survivors around the farthest section of the plane....the tail section, which gave me hope. Dan radioed it in and we hovered well above the people until rescue people arrived then we'd keep going. Once night fell, we had no choice but to return to the airport. I hated the feeling growing in my gut... that the kid was gone. I took one last look at the burned hulk of twisted metal behind us and gave a silent prayer that Ponyboy somehow managed to survive this. It'd be a miracle, but I prayed for it anyway.

XXX

Two-Bit and I started off at Tulsa General Hospital, searching the many lists of the wounded crash victims.

"I'll look through this one, you take that one." Two-Bit said as we were handed the list of the known deceased first. He basically ripped it out of my hands, not even letting me see the first name on the paper. I didn't argue as I searched the survivor's list for those who had been brought in. Pony's name wasn't on either set and I handed the papers back to the information lady. Then Two-Bit started wandering around the lobby, randomly asking people if they had seen Ponyboy, showing his picture to anyone who cared to look. No one recognized him. He had already made one lap around the capacity crowd in the waiting room when I heard my name being called from the far end of the emergency room.

Patients with minor wounds were perched on gurneys placed out along the lobby walls, and there on one of them was Shelly. Her arms were bandaged and her face covered with soot and ash, and she reeked of the smell of spilled jet fuel. But her eyes shined as she looked at me and I couldn't help but be relieved she was alright. Or at least looked it. I pushed the hair from her face and kissed her. "Are ya hurt bad?" I asked.

"I'll survive. I'm about as sore as I can be though. I'm glad you came." She held my hand. I wasn't exactly sure how to tell her I wasn't here for her, but I was glad she made it okay. It gave me hope that Pony was here somewhere too.

By her side on the same gurney was a small sleeping child, his clothes singed but no other marks on him from what I could see. "Who's this?" I asked, nodding at the boy.

"Just a boy. I think his name's Tommy. One of the other passengers grabbed him and tossed him to me just as the fireball engulfed the plane. He was a real hero. I don't know what happened to the rest of the family, but that guy saved this little one's life. Now he cries when anyone tries to take him from me."

"The rest of the family didn't make it?" My heart fell. This kid didn't seem older than five years old, much too young to be an orphan.

"I don't think so. The guy who tossed him to me was struggling with the mother and her daughter when I was headed out. There wasn't anyone behind me when I looked around after getting out of the doorway. Just a fireball engulfing the plane."

"Damn." I patted the kid on his head. Yet another boy left to live without his mother. "How about the father?"

"I don't think the father was on board. That guy who saved him had a chance to get out but chose to save the boy instead and tried to save the whole family. I don't think he was their father, he sat in a different set of seats, although he did go over to them to entertain the kids when they started being fussy. He drew pictures for them with their crayons. Finally they zonked out and he went back to his own seat."

I just stared at her and looked at Two-Bit. I couldn't force the words to come out. He read my mind and asked for me.

"This guy...is this him?" He pulled out the now bent and creased picture of Ponyboy and she studied it hard.

I held my breath and clenched my hands around the metal on the gurney.

"Yeah! That's him. How'd you get his picture?" She sounded shocked.

I couldn't answer, trying hard to not fall apart. I clenched every muscle I had to not start screaming or whaling about. I could see my youngest brother trying to be a hero...trying to save some kid from burning up. He'd done it before and apparently had tried to do it again, this time with disastrous results. It was ironic that he ran from conflict created by people but not from impersonal danger.... and now it had caught up with him. Oh God...I hope he didn't suffer. I felt my legs shaking and Two-Bit had me under my arms, plopping me in a chair left vacant next to Shelly.

"Oh, God no, Keith!" I cried in a halfway silent tearless sob.

"Who was he?" Shelly asked, her bandaged arms going around me.

"Darry, stop! He may have gotten out and she just didn't see him. Come on, Darry!" Two-Bit implored.

"He was my youngest brother!" I whispered, unable to utter any more.

XXX

Darry collapsing was unexpected. In all the years I'd known him and his brothers...through all the tragedies they've endured, I've never seen him like this. Even when Pony disappeared it didn't seem this bad. That or I had forgotten.

I looked around for anyone in a medical uniform and finally found some kid handing out cups of ice.

"Hey...come here!" I called to him. The kid looked terrified of me, not moving, so I gave one last look at Darry and went to the kid.

"Where'd they take the bodies for identification?" I asked. The kid paled, not speaking.

"Look, you little shit." I whispered in a voice only he heard. "You better get control over your mouth and start talking. Where'd they take the dead that they can't identify or no one's claimed yet?"

"I don't know....I ….I really don't know. Bu... bu.. but I'll get you someone who does." And with that the little pipsqueak was gone through the doors. I shook my head figuring I'd probably be in jail tonight if I didn't beat it out of there, but no way was I gonna leave Darry like this...thinking Pony's become one of the 'was' members of his family instead of the 'is'.

Surprisingly, the pipsqueak came back out with someone who looked like they knew what was going on. They made it over to me and the man shook my hand as the 'squeak ran off. He took me to a room off to the side to talk.

"I understand you're looking for someone that was on the plane and may have died?" He asked...or rather stated. I wasn't sure.

"Yeah. A close family friend. Real close. He may not have made it, but I need to know. One way or the other. I need to know where the bodies went that haven't been identified... so I can get the identification over with."

"The bodies have been sent to a central makeshift morgue at the medical college downtown. But, before you go down there, you may want to check out Mercy General Hospital first for your friend. I've seen it too many times where mistakes in identification happen. If he is dead, he ain't going anywhere. Good luck to you. I hope he's okay."

"Thanks." I mumbled as I left the room. I went back to Darry who had managed to pull it together...or perhaps it was the sweet thing hanging on his arm that he was being strong for. Whatever the case, he seemed at least able to get to the car under his own power.

"Come on, Darry. We're going to the other hospital before I accept this."

"Call me later, Darry!" The woman called to him as we left.

The roads were congested as I maneuvered my way across town. Darry sat in silence. I struggled to find a way to cheer him up.

"Got you a lady, there...Darry? Who'd have guessed."

"Leave it alone, Two-Bit." Darry said icily.

I let it be for a while then went serious again. Humor obviously wasn't in the cards for tonight. "Don't believe it, Darry. Not yet." I tried to get through to him, but I wasn't even sure if he heard me. Finally as we pulled into Mercy's busy parking lot, he cleared his throat.

"I have to find him, Two-Bit. Alive or dead. I can't go on not knowing where Ponyboy is anymore. He spent two years away and gets killed coming home? What kind of messed up shit is that?"

I pulled the keys from the ignition and turned to him. "Were gonna find him, just like we did before. Probably in better shape than the rest of us. Come on." I opened the door and got out. "Lets go look for him here then we'll go back to your place.... see if anyone else had any luck." Night was falling and I knew the rest of the group should be headed back to Darry's soon. Hopefully they'd have the youngest Curtis in tow if we didn't find him.

We walked into this emergency room to face yet a repeat of what we had just experienced. People lined up everywhere, the injured on gurneys, sitting in chairs and some sitting indian style on the floor. The registration clerk looked harried. Darry was going on reserve... but at least he was still going.

"'Scuse me. I'm looking for a friend who was on the plane. Ponyboy Curtis?"

She scanned her papers but shook her head. I lowered my voice, hating the thought of having to go to the morgue next. Before I could ask, Darry had his own question.

"Has anyone reported missing their son missing....a little boy, brown hair about five years old, named Tommy?"

The lady went through the papers again, this time her finger stopping mid way down the page. "We have a lady looking for her son, believed to have been killed in the accident. She's in the back now." The lady said.

"I need to see her." Darry said. What he was up to baffled me, but I wasn't about to ask either. I liked my jaw being in one piece.

"Room 18 B, up the hallway." The lady pointed the way and we were off, dodging our way through the crowded isles of people.

He knocked on the door and someone from the other side allowed him to enter. I followed for the curiosity factor.

"Yes?" Asked a woman in her late twenties, her eyes red and face puffy from crying. She held onto a little girl who sat there hugging her mother tightly.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I understand your son is missing?" Darry asked as gently as he could. You'd never think he was the leader of a band of greasy misfits with his tone and manners. Mrs. Curtis would be proud.

Her face tightened up at tears sprang forth. All she could do was nod as she pulled her daughter closer.

"Was he being entertained for a while by this guy?" Darry pulled out the bent picture of Ponyboy from his pocket. "Did this guy draw pictures for your son... before the plane went down?"

"Yes." Her voice wavered and her hands shook as she took the picture from Darry a moment, getting a better look at Ponyboy then returned it to Darry as she wrapped her arms around the small girl at her side.

"Did he get you and your daughter to safety?" Darry asked again, sounding more and more like one of those TV show court prosecutors, albeit still being gentle about it.

"He's a hero." Her voice faltered. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost them both. At least I still have Susan."

It dawned on me then.

"Ma'am, I think I saw your son at Tulsa General Hospital. Tommy...right? He's with the flight stewardess Michelle McDaniels, and he didn't seem hurt to me."

"You saw my son?" New tears sprang up as she jumped off the gurney and grabbed Darry by the arms.

"Yes...I think I did. But...what happened to the guy that rescued you? He's my brother, I can't locate him."

"Tommy's alive? I have to go to him...!"

"Please, ma'am...just...what about my brother?"

She looked at Darry and shook her head. "He got me and Susie out of the plane. I was too dazed to figure out how he did what he did. One second I was in that inferno unable to move, the next minute I was laying in the grass looking at the sky. I sort of remember him carrying me on his shoulder....probably where all this blood came from on my shirt. I'm not sure, but I know I'm not hurt. I...I have to go...I have to get to Tommy. When you find him...tell him thank you for me. Come on, Susie darlin..." She scooped up the little girl and headed outside.

Darry ran his fingers over his face and through his hair, finally looking at me.

"Well, at least I know he's alive. He ain't in the hospital or morgue. Where is he?"

"Don't know, man. But as long as he's on this side of the dirt, we'll find him. Let's go home and see if the others had any luck." He and I went out into the dark parking lot lit up only by the street lamps and began to make the long ride home. I hope we get answers before tomorrow becomes today.

CLR


	12. Ashley's Impromptu Visit

Chapter 12

Ashley's Impromptu Visit

XXX

"I'm going, momma. Don't try to stop me." I threw in a few more blouses and another skirt in my suitcase, along with the few pair of long pants that I wore on occasion. Ponyboy had given me the impression it was a rougher neighborhood and I hopefully wasn't going there unprepared. "I need to be there with him. I love him and he needs me."

"Ashley Marie Benning, young lady this is _insane_! I know you love him... we love him too, but you can't just go _down_ there!"

"Watch me!" I had my bag packed and had Ponyboy's car in our driveway, ready to go. I was eighteen and was leaving, my parents wishes be damned. I had sat by the phone all afternoon waiting for Darry to call me back and with each hour that passed I grew more and more worried. Then I grew angry. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and booked a flight out to Oklahoma City, seeing as all the flights to Tulsa were done for the day. I'd arrive around midnight and would walk to Tulsa if I had to, but I couldn't sit here any longer. I grabbed my purse as my mother followed me down the porch steps.

"You haven't even given them a chance to find anything, Ashley! It takes time to find someone when there's been a disaster..."

"Mom, I have to go. If it were daddy, you'd have already been gone! When they call, tell them I'm headed down there and will arrive in Oklahoma City around midnight....if I don't see anyone then I'll grab a cab and get to Tulsa on my own. I have their address."

My mother stood on the porch not saying a word. I could tell she was scared that something was going to happen to me just like it had to Ponyboy, but I had to go. "I love you." I said simply, then started Pony's car and headed off in the direction of the airport._ I'm coming, Ponyboy, just hold on!_

XXX

The lights were on at my house when Two-Bit and I pulled up. Someone was here. It only took me about four strides to get from the sidewalk to my front door, hoping all the while Pony would be there eating cake and laughing at my worry lines. I stepped inside to see Soda and Patty sitting at the table leaning over a map of the Harlow Creek area of the Osage Indian reservation. As soon as I came in they looked up at me.

"Well?" We all asked each other at the same time.

"Did you find anything?" I asked Soda, joining him at the table.

He shook his head, turning back to look at the map. "We searched at least three miles to the east, other teams also made a perimeter sweep. No luck. All we found was lots of debris."

"How'd you do?" Patty asked.

"Found Shelly at Tulsa General. She said Pony was on the plane and had helped rescue a lady and her kids, but he hasn't been seen since."

"Who's Shelly?" Soda asked looking up at me.

"She's the stewardess from the flight we took when we came home." I said said simply, going into the kitchen for a drink and hopefully avoiding any other questions.

"You remember her from THAT long ago?" Soda wouldn't let it go.

I sighed. "Soda, we've been seeing each other since that night."

He dropped his pencil and stared at me, disbelief written all over him.

"Look, I have neither the time nor the desire to get into my relationship with this woman with you right now. Point is, Ponyboy somehow made it out alive. He's hurt, too. The woman he saved said he was bleeding. Two-Bit and I checked both hospitals and he ain't in either one of them."

"Now what?" Soda asked, picking up his pencil again and looking back at the map.

"How the hell do I know?" I snapped. Damn, I was getting a headache. I went into the kitchen for some aspirin or Tylenol... anything I could find.

My front door opened as I plundered the cabinets, finally finding the little bottle towards the back behind the soup cans. It always amazed me how Soda put up the groceries. One day I was gonna have to clean out all the cabinets and see what I really had in my house. Steve's voice drifted around my doorways.

"Anyone have any luck?"

"In a roundabout way, we know he made it out of the plane. We just don't know where he is now." Two-Bit explained. "You see anything?"

"Yeah, I saw a wrecked plane." Steve came into the kitchen and stopped by my side. "You okay, Darry?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Steve. He made it out alive. He's hurt but he made it. Now we just have to _find_ him." I looked at the clock. It was just after ten at night and I suddenly remembered something.

"Shit." I muttered as I headed to the phone. Cursing was rare from me, but I was too tired and frustrated to worry about my own manners.

"What's wrong now?" Soda looked up at me.

"I gotta call Montana." I dialed the number I had taped to the phone and after a few rings, Dr. Benning answered.

"Hello, sir. This is Darrel Curtis calling. Ashley called earlier and told us of the crash, I promised I'd call to give her an update. I hope you don't mind the lateness of the hour."

"Darry...I'm glad you called. First, did you find Ponyboy?"

"No sir, not yet. He made if off the plane... at least that's my understanding of it from witnesses, but we haven't found him yet. Things are still sort of a mess down here. As soon as it's daylight I'm going back out again."

"If it's at all possible, can someone go to the Oklahoma City airport an pick Ashley up? She got it in her head to go down there and look for Ponyboy and took off before I could get back from some errands. I swear that daughter of mine is stubborn at times."

"She's on her way _here_?" I asked, unable to mask the surprise in my voice.

"Yes...she is. Bought a ticket and already flew off before I got to the airport to stop her. She gets a bit headstrong at times. There are no other flights out that way tonight or I'd go myself. She'd due to land in Oklahoma City around midnight. I know it's asking a lot..."

I looked at the clock again and shook my head. "It's fine, sir, we'll go pick her up but I have to go now if I'm going to get there on time."

"Thanks, Darrel. Have her call me in the morning if you can, and good luck finding Ponyboy."

"Yes sir, thanks." I hung up the phone and made sure I had my wallet and keys.

"_Now_ what's going on?" Two-Bit asked.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose, disbelieving what was happening.

"Darry?" Soda asked, getting up.

"Seems Ashley is on a plane headed to Oklahoma City and I need to go pick her up. I'll be back in a few hours. Soda, if you don't mind, would you go throw some fresh sheets on the bed in your old room?" I headed out to the truck as he put down the pencil and headed down the hall.

XXX

I sat at the receiving gate watching the plane taxi in. It would figure that brother of mine would find someone who was both as headstrong and as difficult as he was. I couldn't help but smile at the situation. I wasn't quite used to this, having a lady staying in my house but I wasn't about to stick her in any of the hotels in the area...knowing those hotels usually rented rooms by the hour. I wasn't gonna dump her across town either in one of the classier places, and I sure wasn't gonna have her stay at any of our friends places either....there was a _reason_ they all came to my place to cool it for the night. Any way you looked at it, she was coming home with me... but I doubt any amount of cleaning was gonna put my place in the league of what she was used to. I just hoped she wouldn't turn and run from Ponyboy when she saw where his roots had been planted.

She saw me before I saw her. "Hey Darry, I take it my parents called you. Have you found him yet?" She asked

"No, we think he did make it off the plane though. You really shouldn't have come...I'd have had him call you as soon as we found him."

"My place is here, with him. Don't start sounding like my father. I can stay in a hotel if I'm in your way. I didn't fly here to be a bother to you or Soda."

"No...I have a room for you at my place. And you are welcome anytime, Ashley. Lets get your bags and we'll head out."

XXX

Tulsa at night looks darker and more ominous than Tulsa in the day. I've lived in this city my whole life, just perhaps not always in the same house. Dad bought it after Pony was born, mom and dad insisted we needed more space. To me at that time he was just my baby brother, small and, well... stationary. As all babies are. All they really need is a bottle and a crib, and a fresh diaper or two. Mom kept him in her room at night while me and Soda shared in the other bedroom. But one day he started crawling and that was that. Mom put her foot down and dad caved, and we moved to my house...or the one I inherited from their estate when they were killed. In the years that have passed since we moved here, I've seen Tulsa go from a spiffy place with good lawns and well maintained streets to the conditions it's in now, and especially on my side of town where the lower income folks stay. I've gotten used to it and it really doesn't bother me, but one look on Ashley's face as we drove closer and closer to my doorstep told me this was not exactly what she was used to.

"May not be much to look at, but it's what's _in _a home rather than the four walls it's made of." I tried to explain as I pulled up to my driveway.

"It's fine, Darry. Really." She yawned, getting out.

The front door opened and Soda stepped out. It was almost two in the morning, I know he had to be beat.

"Welcome to Curtis central, Ashley, where everyone comes to stay." Soda softly said, pulling her into a quick hug as she tiredly made it to the landing on the porch. "I've got your room all ready for you, and no one's gonna bother you either. All the guys have cleared out for the night."

"Thanks, Soda. It's good to see you again. Any news on where he is?"

"No, but we'll find him. We'll start again first thing in the morning. It's late, let me show you to your room. Feel free to come and go as you please. Our home is your home."

Her eyes looked at him, imploringly. "He's out there, somewhere." Her voice never wavered, but her look gave it away. Fear and worry. Man, she loves him so.

"And we're gonna find him. We _will_. He's smart, and knows how to survive. We just have to wait until morning." He held her hand and guided her inside. Soda was putting on a brave face for her sake because I knew deep down he worried like me that he was hurt ...or worse. But I wouldn't accept _that_ yet. Not until I had reason to.

Soda gave her a very short tour of the house but once he showed her the room she was to stay in, the room both my brothers used to claim as their own, she lay down and damn near fell asleep fully dressed as Soda talked to her from the doorway.

"Soda...she's asleep. You can hush it for now." I went in and took her shoes off, noticing how small her feet were. I pulled the blanket over her and closed the door.

This day was done. Finally. But according to the clock it was already tomorrow, and in a very few short hours we'd either need to find Ponyboy or begin to search the morgue for him. As I settled into my own bed, uncomfortably dressed in way too many layers of clothing, I could feel the temperatures falling outside. I knew if he wasn't in a shelter, if he hadn't made it to some sort of safety by now.... he may not make it through the night.

CLR


	13. Searching Continues

Chapter 13

Searching Continues

XX

_This is a news update. Yesterday at approximately 5:42 P.M. local time, a Boeing 707 with 132 passengers and crew crashed into the Osage Indian Reservation killing a known sixty one passengers, with an additional six others succumbing to their injuries at various area hospitals during the night. Also, another man believed to have been a passenger on the flight was found early this morning about two miles into the wooded area surrounding the crash site, and was declared dead on the scene by medical personnel. His body and those of the other victims have been taken to the medical college downtown for identification and autopsy. Authorities warn that some victims have been burned so badly that positive identification may not be possible. In other news....._

I stood in front of the TV stunned. Soda had been eating a bowl of cold cereal when the news update started and now stood next to me in the living room, bowl forgotten at the table, staring pale and stony faced at the TV set. Ashley, dressed and eager to go had been watching the TV since before I got up. She now looked as sick as I have ever seen a lady look, and launched herself off the couch tearing to the bathroom where the sounds of her vomiting filled the now silent house. After a minute I heard the toilet flush and the water run, and she finally returned to the couch, shaking ever so slightly.

"Are you okay, Ashley?" I had to ask. I knew the answer, but felt I should ask anyway.

She nodded her head and looked away. Unwilling to sit in front of the TV anymore, she wandered outside, allowing the cold air to stream into the house as the door opened then closed behind her. I noticed she didn't have a coat on... reminding me of another time when someone else left the house coatless. From the window I watched her sit on the steps, wrapping her arms around herself, dropping her head into her knees. Her shoulders shook and I knew, but felt awkward as to what to do.

"We searched that area.... for at least three miles! How could we have missed him?" Soda said finally.

"You can't see everything, little buddy." I said softly.

"No! You don't understand... Patty and I searched that area! If he was there, I'd have found him!" Soda's voice got louder. I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him...his next action was unexpected. He swung his arm, rotating it to push me off him and pushed me away. I had to step back to keep from falling.

"Soda...this isn't your fault!" I tried again, wanting to close the gap growing between us. I couldn't believe the guilt that was flowing from him.

"What the hell do you mean this isn't my fault? He ran away from home when he thought I was dead, now _he's_ dead because he wanted to come home to see us on my God- damned birthday! He was out there, and I didn't find him. How the hell did I miss him?" He shouted, rage flowing through him. "This is all my fault!"

The door opened and Steve was suddenly there, standing between Soda and me.

"If you two_ morons _don't mind, can you shut your traps before the fuzz show up! What the hell's happened now? Ashley's out there bawling like a baby."

I started for the door, forgetting Ashley could hear everything from her perch on the steps. She was already being comforted by Two-Bit though, who.... having a sister, knew how to hold her like a sister should be held.

"It doesn't mean it was Ponyboy, Ashley. He made it out... we'll find him." I said to her. Her head was buried in Two-Bits neck and he just rocked her, his leather coat draped over her shoulders to warm her up. She finally looked at me, tracks of long passed tears still evident on her cheeks.

"I know we will. We have to." She said roughly, holding her hand out to me. I helped her to her feet and opened the door for her to go inside. Two-Bit pulled me back and I closed the door behind her, leaving me and Two-Bit on the porch alone.

"What happened?" He asked quietly.

"They found a man's dead body a few miles in the woods this morning. They think he was on the plane. Soda's got the guilts."

"Was it...was it Ponyboy?" He asked.

"Dunno. No one's called. I'm gonna go down there... this is ridiculous. The morgue is the one place we haven't looked." I said with disdain. "I can at least give them his picture..."

"I'll go with you." He said, and from the look in his eyes, he wasn't going to be dissuaded.

"Thanks, man."

XXXX

The crowd at the medical college was overwhelming. News crews lined the street and hoards of people milled about on the grass and sidewalks. I made my way through the crowd to the doors where a lone police officer guarded the door.

"No one allowed in." The man in uniform said bluntly.

"My brother was on the flight. I just want to drop off his picture in case he's been brought here... we cant find him anywhere else." I said, trying to remember that getting what you want usually means lowering your standards to kiss- up levels. What I _really _wanted to do was launch him into next week but had a feeling he had a partner around here somewhere with a loaded gun.

"Go around the building to the check in window, they can help you there." He said, pointing off to the side. We went where directed.

"Can I help you?" Asked some young lady behind the glass.

"Why, yes ma'am." Man, even I was amazed how fast Two-Bit could turn on the charm. He pushed me out of the way and took Pony's picture out of my hand to give to her. "We're looking for his brother, a passenger on the flight. This here's a recent picture of him. We've looked everywhere else and haven't been able to locate him. The news mentioned another...body...they found early this morning and was hoping someone here could tell us if this was him." He handed her the picture and she looked at it, frowning.

"I'll, uhh, I'll be right back. Why don't you two come on inside and have a seat." She buzzed the side door and I followed Two-Bit inside.

We sat down on the stiff leather chairs and I had a sick feeling taking over me. It was only five years ago that I had to go to the hospital to verify our parents bodies in the morgue. I remembered that night. Mom and dad had gone out Christmas shopping for us, leaving me at home to watch my brothers. The night got later and later and I sent the boys to bed. Soda was the stubborn one back then, he was sixteen and hated me telling him what to do. I let him stay up an extra hour than Ponyboy but he still gave me a hard time about it, but I was put in charge then by the folks and did what I knew they would have insisted on. I just didn't realize that the night they left, I was in charge from then on out.

He finally went on to bed, grumbling about being told what to do at his age and I sat up waiting for the folks. Waiting and waiting and waiting. Finally around two in the morning I heard a car pull up and doors close. A knock later and I was staring at two cops, who gently said there had been an accident and I was needed at the hospital for final identification. They said a lot more than just that... but in hindsight, that's what happened. I remembered both Soda and Pony suddenly being in the living room, what exactly and how much they heard I didn't know but there they stood... Soda's arm protectively over Pony's shoulder as tears dripped from both their faces.

I had called Mrs. Mathews and asked her to come sit with my brothers and she readily agreed. Soda had been mad with me, insisting on coming with me and making that identification too. For some stupid reason, I let him go with me. A mistake I have regretted ever since that night. Pony sat alone with Two-Bit who came over with his mother and sister while Soda and I went to the hospital. I did have the foresight to make Soda wait in the hallway while I went in to see my parents laying on that slab, and as I came out a few minutes later it took all my strength to keep that strong wiry brother of mine from going in there. He fought me like the devil, but I managed to hold him back. He didn't need to see them like that, all torn up and mangled. It's an image that I have never gotten out of my own head, and I was desperate to not let it be in his.

Here I am, five years later, waiting to make another identification, praying in silence that this time...it's not him. I was doubtful, that feeling in my gut telling me that if it wasn't Ponyboy, that lady would have just taken the picture, flirted with Two-Bit some more and sent us on our way.

"Sir, you say this is your brother and he was on the flight?" A man's voice and Two-Bit's elbow broke into my thoughts.

"Yes." I said standing up. "We can't find him. I hoped he'd have turned up by now, but he hasn't. I heard on the news about the body that was found this morning..."

"I'm sorry to say this, but the resemblance of the man in this picture is very close to the man that was found. If you wish to make an identification, you can come with me." He said gently yet bluntly.

I turned to Two-Bit and looked at him. He gripped my shoulder and I nodded at the man. He opened the door and I followed him, Two-Bit staying behind.

XXX

Darry and Two-Bit had gone to the medical college, leaving me with Soda and Ashley. Soda I could deal with...but Ashley was a different story. Hell, I wasn't any good dealing with the kid...now I had to deal with _his woman_? Lordy have mercy! A van pulled up to the house just then and someone came to the doorstep, carrying a large box. Soda opened the door to see what he wanted.

"Sorry to bother you. This was one of the pieces of luggage found from flight 812. It has this address on it and I was instructed to bring it over. Is... is the owner of the luggage home so he can sign for it.... a Mr. uh... well... that might be a type-o but it says Mr. Ponyboy Curtis."

Soda just looked at him as if he was gonna remove him from this earth with one swipe of his hand. Instead he took the pen and signed for the bag and stared at the delivery guy, who got the message and backed out off the porch, leaving the gate open in the process of beating it out of there.

He brought the bag in and put it on the coffee table, still sealed the way Pony had it when he boarded the ill fated flight. Ashley reached over and unlatched it, opening it up.

There on top were three books, the same book just three copies. _Hot Tulsa Nights_ was the title, and there in bold letters on the bottom was the authors name... Ponyboy M. Curtis. The cover was dark and foreboding. A bloody switchblade with a jeweled handle pierced something so that the blade stood up on it's tip, a light shining on it cast a shadow in the covers' background that looked eerily like a cross. It was a moderately thick book. Soda picked one of them up and fluttered the pages. Every word written by Ponyboy. The kid really had become an author. Damn.

"He did the artwork for the cover too. Insisted that it be used. He was so proud when these came in the mail last week. He was worried that it wouldn't get here in time. He wanted you to have a copy. It was to be one of your presents..." Ashley said.

He opened the book to the inside pages, finding the dedication page.

_Dedicated to my parents, my brothers and my friends. Those who are with me now and those who have gone on ahead to greater glory. I have never forgotten any of you nor will I, for you - all of you- have made me who I am. Thank you. Stay Gold. PMC._

"Soda!" Soda looked like he had stopped breathing and I jumped over to him. "Hey, man... Soda!" He took a ragged breath and grabbed my arm tight. I would have complained, knowing a grip like this was gonna leave marks on me, but didn't say a word. He took a minute then let go, getting up.

"This isn't getting us anywhere. Lets go look for him." He grabbed his coat and EMT bag, and Ashley pulled her coat on too.

"Great, but where are we going? We already looked everywhere he would have been last night." I reminded him.

"Then we retrace our steps. Back to the scene. This time working it from the outside in. They can't stop us from going in the Reserve from the outside."

"Hey, guys...mind if I join in?" Patty was coming inside and must have overheard.

"I thought you had class today." Soda said pulling her into an embrace.

"I did. They sent all the nursing students to go help out at the hospitals. I have permission from the instructors to help in the search for the missing people, seeing as how I'm already an EMT."

"They found a body near the scene. It might be him." I heard Soda say in a numb voice to Patty.

"I heard about that, but don't think like that, Soda. We'll find him." She said in a low voice, then turned to see Ashley. "Hey. I'm Patty Baxter, one of Soda's EMT buddies."

"Oh, please, darlin. You know you're more than that to me." Soda said, pulling her closer.

"Okay, I'm also his lady. I understand you're the future Mrs. Curtis?"

"I hope to be." Ashley said.

"Don't talk like that. We'll find him. You and I have a lot to discuss! Come on, Steve! Daylight's wasting! Let's get going and find that fiancé of hers." Patty took Ashley by the hand and led her outside, leaving me and Soda in the living room shaking our heads.

"He can't be gone, Soda. We'll find him." I hoped we would anyway, for everyone's sake!

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	14. Winding The Way Home

All thanks to SE Hinton for her novel, _The Outsiders_.

Chapter 14

Winding the Way Home

XXX

A choking feeling woke me from my sleep. I coughed, the rancid taste of stagnant blood in my mouth. My face felt sticky, dried pine needles and dirt stuck to me. I reached over to wipe it off, resulting in only having it smear over my cheek. The thought occurred to me in the darkness that the stickiness was blood, slowly seeping from cuts somewhere on my head and making small tear-like trails across my face and lips as I lay asleep on the forest floor.

I sat up, feeling dizzy and cold. _Very_ cold. I shook violently from the chills I had running through me. My teeth chattering so violently I was sure they would chip apart. I could barely feel my hands and feet despite clenching and releasing every finger and toe repeatedly to try to force blood into those most distant joints. The sky was beginning to receive the earliest rays of sun but it would still be dark for another half hour at least. In the waning moonlight, I could see my breath as I gasped for air.

Breathing wasn't easy and movement was pure agony. However, the stench of jet fuel and remnants of smoke and ash on my skin and tattered clothes turned my stomach, forcing me onto my knees as I heaved bile and blood onto the ground next to me.

I took a shaky hand and wiped my mouth, knowing I had to get moving even if all I really wanted to do was to lay back down and return to sleep. I pulled myself up onto my feet and took a few dizzy steps. My legs had remained numb and many times I stumbled, falling back onto the ground in a heap. _Get up, Ponyboy! _I kept ordering myself, and somehow I did.

The skin on my back hurt like when you have a sunburn. It felt tight as if it had been pulled taunt over my frame. I reached over to feel it and quickly changed my mind. As cold as I was, my back was scalding hot and could feel the singed fabric that was once my shirt. I remembered what had happened, that there had been a crash and a fire, but the details in my memory were sketchy. I had an image of a woman and some kids in my head, and in a vague hazy way I sort of recalled helping them. But who were they? All I could think of was Ashley and it pained me considerably to think that she too was hurt, laying out here somewhere injured like me and I couldn't find her.

I constantly looked around for her as I made my way tripping and fumbling through the woods, the sun rising slowly at my back. It wasn't until the woods thinned to where I could finally hear the morning sounds of downtown Tulsa filtering through the trees that my sense of direction somewhat cleared up. At least I was going the right way.

My head was still foggy, a searing headache persisted in hanging over me. I ran my tongue over my lips, realizing they were cracked. My mouth was so parched that I was left with not even enough saliva to spit with. _I wish I had a drink_, I thought for a moment, then I stifled that thought._ Don't wish for what you don't have, it won't help you any._

After what seemed like hours I finally cleared the tree line, free at last of the woods. My footing was better now that there were no more fallen tree limbs or rodent holes to trip over. The sun was midway up in the sky but it didn't feel warm to me. I felt empty inside. I turned to look again, to see if Ashley were near, wishing desperately to feel her warm hand in mine and her sweet kiss on my pained lips.

"Ashley!" I called, my dry throat cracking against the vibration of my vocal cords. She wasn't there. I was alone. I shivered against the coldness in the air and the loneliness in my heart.

In the haze of memory, I vaguely recognized my surroundings. Instinct told me which direction to go in but I was hesitant to head out. Lightening bolts of pain hit me every time I had to turn my head, and each time I had no choice but to do so I could feel the warm seepage of what had to be fresh blood trailing down my neck. Whatever cut I had back there refused to stay closed, leaving me both lightheaded and with blurry vision.

My first major obstacle was the four lane freeway that I had to cross. As I came up to the roadside, I could hear the cars but could gage neither the distance they were from me nor the speeds they were traveling at. I waited until it seemed as clear as it was going to get and stepped off the curb. Instantly I heard horns blowing and tires squealing against brake pedals being pushed. I ignored it and kept moving forward, finding it bizarre that I would survive an airplane crash yet be killed crossing the street. I laughed at that thought, further aware that my condition wasn't getting any better.

My foot slipped as I came across the other curb, sending me sprawling down on all fours on the opposite sidewalk. "Hey, you stupid drunk! Watch where you're going!" I heard voices from at least two people cat-calling down on me, and felt the nudge of a shoe in my already aching side. "Hell...what kinda fight was he in!" One exclaimed. "Looks like he's already been through the meat grinder."

"Let's see if he's got any cash!" Said another. A foreign hand went to my back pocket and like a snake, I swung back. I made contact with some part of him but I didn't have any real strength behind it. I couldn't even see him clearly. I heard him swear and felt that shoe strike my seared backside again, this time with enough force to leave me stunned. My wallet was ripped from my pocket and footsteps faded in the distance.

I lay there bleeding again, trying to focus on what had just happened, then started laughing out loud and too myself. _Ha ha_! I thought. _Jokes on them_. I had barely $20 in my wallet, not including my old fake identification card and my drivers license, along with some small wallet sized pictures of the gang and Ashley. I knew better than to return to Tulsa with real cash or credit cards on me. I had even stowed my checkbook in my luggage too... although that was probably gone for good. Once I could breathe again, I pulled myself up and headed down the street.

_Wonder which side got me? Soc or grease?_ It'd be funny if my own side had mugged me. That old joke of Two-Bit's from so long ago came back to me then as clearly as if he had just said it... that the safest thing to be when met by a gang of social outcasts is another social outcast. I laughed again, just as hard as I had all those years ago. Man, I wasn't feeling too hot.

As I made my way up the street, people I passed looked at me funny. Ladies with small kids actually crossed the street to _avoid_ me. Seems like old times really hadn't changed. I needed to get away from this, so I headed into an alley I used to use as a short cut all those years ago, when Johnny and I used to wander the streets on the weekends and in the summers before death started to surround me. It was rarely traversed back then and I hoped it continued to be that way. I was only a few blocks from home now but my head screamed at me to stop moving. My throbbing side hurt so much that my breathing was coming in short gasps again. I had to stop for a few minutes and rest.

I found a spot next to an abandoned trash bin and sank to the ground. I pulled my knees to my chest and lay my head down on my crossed arms. _A few minutes of rest,_ I thought_. _My body ached for it and I finally capitulated to it's demands. Within seconds I was asleep.

XX

Darry had been back behind those doors for a while now, and my own gut had started to turn, realizing the longer he was there the worse this was gonna be for all of us. It had to be Ponyboy, and Darry probably couldn't tear himself from his baby brothers cold, lifeless side. I felt tears of my own coming up and quickly wiped them away. I remembered the last time I saw the kid, at the airport with him bawling on my shoulder, telling me I was just as much his family as Darry and Sodapop were. That made me feel like shit now. I should be standing _with_ Darry as he did this last thing for his brother, but I always lacked the guts to take serious things like this as seriously as I should. I hated myself for it now. That young kid had enough courage to start over in a strange place with no one to help him, and here I sat afraid of the lifeless body he left behind. I didn't deserve to be that kids friend. He deserved better than me. I looked at the double doors again and got up, determined to make this right.

I made one step in their direction when they suddenly swung open, Darry coming out. I looked at his eyes, all red and wet and knew what it meant. I grabbed him tight in a hug and choked out a sob.

"God, Darry, I'm so sorry." I squeaked out, my own voice not even recognizable to me. He held me for a moment then patted my back rather hard.

"It's not him, Two-Bit. That poor kid back there wasn't Ponyboy." He said gently.

I looked at him. He looked older and more tired, but confident. "It wasn't him? Are you sure? I mean...I don't _want _it to be him, but...."

"That kid has many similar features of Pony...and the face is uncanny, but trust me. That guy in there isn't my brother."

"But how can you be..." I insisted.

"Two-Bit, mom and dad had all of us get snipped when we were born.... it doesn't grow back."

It took only half a second for me to get it, and then a smile spread across my tear stained face. I couldn't say anything. A laugh came up from me for no reason. It wasn't funny, somewhere there was a family who's son lay on that table back there, unaware that he was gone. But for once it wasn't _us._ And we knew it because as a newborn, lil 'ole Pony got the manly snip-snip. _Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, _I thought, looking into the bright blue sky as we walked outside into the cold air.

"Come on, we've been gone long enough. Lets get back to the house so we can figure out what our next move is gonna be." Darry said.

XXX

Two-Bit had looked so devastated when I came out from the morgue's examination room, and I knew why. At first I thought that kid _was _Ponyboy, but only on closer look did I know it wasn't him. There were other differences, but that particular one was clearly the most telling.

No one was home when we got back. An unfamiliar suitcase was laying open on the coffee table and as I looked at it I realized it was Pony's. His checkbook was even tucked in a flap on the inside lid. _Damn bastards._ For once they return the suitcase but lose the passenger! This would be funny if it wasn't so terrifying.

"Hey Darry, looks like they went back to Osage. Want to go catch up, see if we cant find the guys?" Two-Bit said, holding the note I recognized as Steve's handwriting.

"Yeah, sure." I grabbed my jacket. The temperature was falling again, worrying me. It was in the low forties last night. I knew he wouldn't be able to take much more of this if he was outside in it. "Lets go." We closed the door and headed out to join the gang. Time was ticking, winding down. It was today or never. _Come on, little brother, where are you_?

XXX

"So, how did he propose?" Patty asked an anxious looking Ashley as we pulled into an empty parking lot directly across the freeway and the Indian reserve. It took a moment, but her face brightened up as her thoughts changed.

"Well, he took me on a picnic up over the prairie. After lunch, he just dropped on a knee and asked me. I was as shocked as ever. I mean, I_ felt _we were headed down that path eventually, but it still shocked me."

"And you said 'yes'?"

"Of _course _I did, once I could talk again."

"So now you're knee deep in wedding plans, huh?"

"Most of the stuff is planned out already, I just have to get my dress worked on a bit more."

"Gonna be a church wedding or an outdoor gig?"

The girls were walking behind us, Patty doing her best to keep Ashley's mind off any horrible thoughts as we headed on foot towards the freeway. Steve looked at me and rolled his eyes, and I stifled a laugh. The one thing every woman will lose her head about is wedding talk. Patty knew what she was doing, I had to give her credit for that.

There were no places to park on the Osage side of the road and even though this was dangerous, Steve and I both knew it was possible. Everyone in the gang had done it since we were kids, breaking into the Indian Reserve by crossing the freeway to swim in the lakes and hunt in the woods for fun.

"Pay attention, ladies, or be roadkill." Steve warned as we came closer. Both women looked up, silenced at once.

We managed to make it across and headed for a spot that looked as likely as any other for someone to emerge from the woods. Patty sidled up by me and Ashley walked along in silence next to Steve as we entered the forest. Once in the woods, our two groups separated by about 15 feet so we could cover more ground. I could still see Steve and Ashley, and was confident that he knew what he was doing. We had both been in that shit hole of 'Nam, after all. Those lessons stay with you for life.

XXX

"Thank you." Her voice cut into my thoughts, startling me.

"For what?" I asked, cutting a sideways glance. We had been walking in silence for about an hour and this was the first time she had spoke.

"For being there for Ponyboy and his family. For helping to find him. He sort of hinted to me that you two had a somewhat troubled past."

I swallowed hard. "Those days are long over. He's a buddy, always has been." Simple statement that to any guy would say it all. No further explanation necessary. To a girl though, it's a cop-out answer. To the woman expecting to be the kid's _wife_, it's a bold faced lie. She just kept looking at me as we dodged trees and ducked under low hanging branches. I knew she wanted more, reminding me of how Evie used to be before we broke up. I hated anything that reminded me of Evie and was getting annoyed. "Look, we didn't see eye to eye too many times, but I'd do anything for him and his family." I hoped that would be the end of that conversation, but she threw me an unexpected bone next.

She smiled softy. "I know you would. He's a stronger man now thanks to your friendship with him. He's always said what a good person you are inside, even if you and he weren't tight years ago. No matter what else was going on, he knew he could always count on you."

I looked at her, taken aback. I really didn't think I meant that much to the kid. Looking ahead, the undergrowth was too thick to pass and I knew no one had come this way. "Come on," I said softly, holding out my hand to help her over a fallen log. "He didn't come this way. Lets head back over to Soda and see if he's found anything."

XXX

"You guys find anything?" I asked as I saw Steve and Ashley making their way toward us.

"No. Undergrowth's getting so dense a jackrabbit can't get through. You?" Steve asked.

I shook my head, discouraged. Taking a side glance at Ashley, she looked just as devastated.

"Guys, he's not in here." Patty said, taking a tighter grip on my hand. I gently squeezed back.

"Ashley, Steve ...lets head back. See what other options we have when we catch up with Darry and Two-Bit."

I got a look at Ashley's face as we headed back toward the road. Pain and disappointment were there, but she held back the tears. I placed my hand on her back, patting her a moment. She nodded and followed Steve out, speechless. I doubted any wedding talk was going to work this time.

We crossed the freeway to find Darry and Two-Bit pulling up in the truck. They got out and waited for us by the truck's empty bed. "You guys find anything?" Darry called as we got closer.

"No." Steve answered as he leaned over the truck.

Patty had me in a tight embrace letting me know I wasn't alone. Ashley had wandered slowly across the parking lot in the direction of the shopping center. I remembered the body then and looked up at Darry but not letting go of Patty. "Was that him at the morgue?" I asked in a low voice, trying to keep Ashley from hearing.

Darry shook his head. "No, Soda. It wasn't him."

"Thank God." Steve uttered out loud, surprising me. I looked at him, shocked. He caught my gaze and almost scowled. "What? I like the kid too!"

"Darry!" Ashley's voice got all our attention. We looked over to see her picking up something off the ground. She started looking around more and we went over to where she was. She shakily held out a picture of herself to us. "This was in his wallet. I know it was."

Darry took the picture and looked around. There wasn't anything else on the ground in the area. One block ahead of us near the shopping center the streets were busy with people coming and going, minding their own business as they scurried about. He turned and looked again at the woods across the street on one side of him and then looked at the shopping center ahead of us on the other side. An idea was forming in his head, and I was getting the same idea.

"He's walking home!" I realized all of a sudden. Darry's eyes met mine and he nodded in agreement. Shit! We've been out here looking for him when the whole time he was making his way towards the house. We piled into Steve's car and Darry's truck and headed back.

XXX

Something was licking my arm, tickling me. My hand twitched and as I opened my eyes I saw a small cat running off down the alley to the safety of some forgotten rubbish. In the bright sunlight I saw the blood on my hands and my memory...as choppy as it was...came back to me. My head still pounded but my breathing was better. I struggled to my feet and stumbled on down the alley, knowing I had to get home soon or the next time I lay down I probably wasn't getting up again. I cut down behind the grocery store, made my way past the liquor store and trudged my way past the dollar shop. A few more blocks and I was in the old neighborhood. My heart beating faster with each step I took up the familiar streets of my youth. Finally I rounded the corner and saw it. Worn, tired wood siding, sagging porch and overgrown grass. Damn it looked good.

Darry's truck wasn't here and I had no idea if Soda had his own set of wheels by now or not. I made my way up the steps and slowly opened the door. I realized this wasn't my home anymore, but knew I would always be welcome. Hell, if anyone else could just show up, I figured I could too.

"Da...." My voice didn't work. "So..." I had nothing left in my body to make sound work. I felt so dizzy and tired and went to lay down. I knew they'd eventually come. Until then, I made my way down the hall to the larger bedroom that I used to share and was glad to find the bed made with the good sheets. I lay down on them, their coolness feeling good to my skin. Again, I was asleep before time managed to tick off the clock, but this time I was home again.

XXX

"Did y'all leave the door open?" Soda asked, looking at me as we came around the corner pulling into the driveway.

"No." I said, hitting the brakes.

Soda jumped out and bolted up the steps before I even had the car in park. The whole gang was close on his heals, Ashley trying her best to scramble in the door with the gang. I ran inside, hoping it was Ponyboy and not someone else wanting to raid my fridge and bum around in front of my TV like any other day.

The group was stopped in the living room when I came in, then I watched as Soda went down the hall.

"Ponyboy?" He called, looking in each of the rooms. He got to the large room Ashley had used last night and started.

"Ponyboy!" He yelped. "He's in here!" Soda called out to us as he darted in the room. I had to force my way in to see what was going on. This may have been my house but _this _time, Soda was definitely in charge.

"Pony? Can you hear me? Patty! Get the bag!" He called. Patty had already gone back to the car to get the EMT bag they had taken to Osage and was back before I could blink.

Pony didn't look good. He was red on his back from a nasty burn, bruised all over, half of his shirt and the waistband of his jeans burned off too. The smell of fuel and a hint of smoke still on him. He had a lot of dried blood on his neck and a nasty cut somewhere on the back of his head. Soda and Patty turned him over on the bed so he would be face up, and things didn't seem to get any better. His lips were cracked and slightly swollen, and he was as pale as a sheet.

Watching Soda, I felt a sense of awe that I hadn't expected. He was going on instinct, knowing what to do and when to do it, without a drop of panic in him at all. I guess he put it out of his mind that this was our baby brother he was working on. Damn, I was proud of him.

They got out scissors and started cutting away his singed clothes, and Ashley turned to leave the room. I followed her, making sure she was okay. I knew those two supposedly weren't intimate yet and had a feeling she wasn't very comfortable with what was going on in there, but she also looked about as pale as Pony did on that bed. And she _had_ thrown up this morning, too. How was I to know if maybe things had changed while they were alone in Montana? I wasn't upset, but I was concerned. "You okay Ashley?" I asked as she went to sit in my armchair.

"Yeah....I just need some air. Please... please go help them Darry. I'll be fine. Really." I looked at her and patted her hand.

"I'll be in the other room, just call for us if you need us." I said, then returned to the bedroom, Patty rushing by me in the opposite direction, hellbent on a mission of her own..

I got back to see Steve standing on one side of Ponyboy, now covered with a sheet, and Two-Bit standing on the other side. Two-Bit held a bag of fluid that ran into an IV taped onto one of Pony's arm's. Soda had kneeled down at the side of the bed, Pony's other arm limply extended as Soda slid a second IV into it as well. I watched as he got that needle in place and taped that line down, hooking up the new IV to a second bag of fluid and handing it to Steve to hold over Pony in less time than it takes to open a gas tank for a fill-up.

Amazed. I really was amazed.

"I called the crew. They'll be here in about 15 minutes." Patty said as she returned to the room.

"Pony, can you hear me?" Soda said as he paused from doing medical stuff.

Pony stirred, nodding his head and opening his eyes ever so slightly. Soda took his hand and wrapped it around our brother's.

"I came back, Soda, to surprise you for your birthday." His scratchy voice was almost inaudible, but he smiled and his green eyes glowed up at him momentarily before closing again.

"Next time, kiddo, call in advance." Soda softly chided him, patting his head.

"How's he doing, Soda?" I asked in a low voice.

"He's dehydrated and a little shocky, plus he's got a nasty head laceration that's gonna need stitches. But I don't see anything broken. Wont know more till we get him to the hospital." He answered, never taking his eyes off him.

I felt a presence behind me at the doorway and turned to see Ashley. She silently crept up to the side of the bed and knelt down, taking Pony's other hand in hers. At her touch, Pony's eyes opened once more, positively dancing at her site.

"Don't you ever scare me like this again, you hear me Ponyboy Michael Curtis?" She said in a low trembling voice as a tear fell from her eye.

With what strength he managed to find from within himself, Pony pulled her to him and held her, letting go of Soda in the process. He wasn't alone long, Patty came and took his hand in hers, holding him just as close.

"Yes ma'am, Miss Ashley. I love you." He said in a scratchy whisper.

The sound of the ambulance pulling up was heard, and I went out into the hall to let them in.

XXXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	15. Darry's Request

I have made some changes to the chapters, trying to include details everyone messaged me about. So these chapters have been redone. Most of the original content has not been changed, but additional material is now inserted. My apologies for messing up the timeline by inserting this new material.

Chapter 15

Darry's Request

Ashley's body felt so good in my arms, and all the exhausting pain I felt coursing through my body just seemed to detach itself from me. I could still feel all the pain, and it hurt like shards of glass being ground into my every joint with every movement. But the sudden softness of her touch was like a balm being applied. I never wanted to let her go. I wasn't even sure if she was an illusion now, as my thoughts had become muddled between reality and fantasy. I knew I had made it back home, or at least to one of the gangs homes, and that _someone_ had found me. I had initially laid on the bed face down, feeling the coolness of the sheets on my chest while wanting to keep any pressure off my hot backside. Strong yet gentle hands turned me over while unfamiliar voices spoke. I tried to make them out but couldn't, there were too many voices made with too many pitches that got all jumbled together.

Probing hands were all over me. Both my arms were pulled out to my sides as I felt fingers searching for veins, rubbing the crooks of my elbows and the tired muscles of my lower arms. I lacked the strength to fight it. I heard a woman's voice say she was in, and I didn't understand what that meant, but a sudden coolness started going up my arm. Right as that coolness hit my shoulders I could swear I heard someone who sounded like Soda say he was in too, and the whole coolness thing was repeated on my other arm. It took a while for my thoughts to start to organize again, but they did. Slowly. Very slowly.

I realized that Soda had called to me and I pulled forth the strength to open my eyes for him. I wanted to let him know I came back for him. That I hadn't forgotten him. That he was important to me. I wasn't sure if I told him that. He told me to call him. I didn't understand _why_ he wanted me to call him. Things just weren't coming off right.

I heard Darry and Soda talking, then she was there. My saving grace. Ashley. I held onto her like a life ring, never wanting to let go. I knew I spoke to her but I don't remember what I said. Her soft lips kissed mine and then in an instant she left my side. I ached at the emptiness, real or not, I wanted her there.

"airplane crash"..... "semiconscious"..... "18 gauge in right arm"....... "16 gauge in left arm"..... "92 over 56" .... "Heart rate 108"... "degree burn on his back"..... "laceration to head"...... "dehydrated"......

The words and numbers went by too fast for me to keep up with them, and were being spoken by that woman and Soda at the same time. Their different pitches in voice made it impossible to hear only one. Then I felt movement as I was being lifted and strapped tightly on a moving surface. Nothing made sense. I was getting mad too, I had spent the whole day trying to get home and now I think I was being taken out of it. Damn.

"We'll be behind you." I heard Darry say just before I went to sleep, I think Soda was at my side again.

XXX

My eyes opened to a harsh brightness. I blinked, then focused. Lordy, everyone was here. The only one looking at me directly was Soda, and he just grinned as my eyes narrowed on him.

"Hey Soda." I said with a hoarseness I wasn't expecting. Right away every head in the room whipped around in my direction. Everyone started talking to me, making my already killer headache worse.

"Whoa...please, I cant take everyone at once." I reached for the siderail on the bed I was on and started to pull myself up but Darry suddenly put out his hand and I took it, letting him do the work of sitting me up instead. I rubbed my temples, wishing the throbbing ache inside my head would go away. "Darry, you got anything for a headache?" I asked.

"No, little buddy, I don't." He said, but some woman I hadn't seen before got up just then.

"I'll go get something for him." She scampered off.

"How ya feeling kid?" Two-Bit called from the corner of the room. He and Steve were involved in a card game. I ignored him when I saw the most beautiful set of hazel eyes looking at me.

"My God, Ashley!" I started as if a jolt of lightening had hit me. She had been sitting toward the foot of the bed with the sun at her back, and due to my headache I was at first unwilling to look that way. But once I saw her I reached over and took her hand, pulling her toward me. She came willingly, wrapping her soft arms around me. "Damn, I thought I lost you." I said softly.

"Never mind, I see you're doing juuuust fine." Two-Bit quipped as he continued his game of cards.

"Me? You were the one on the plane. I thought I'd lost you! Why on God's green earth didn't you stay there so someone could help you? You had me scared to death! Don't you have any better sense than this?"

"That, young lady, is a question we have been asking him for over a decade." Steve said dryly, not even looking up.

The door opened up and that woman came back in, bringing me two pills and a cup of water.

"You're not allergic to anything, are you?" She asked first.

"Um, no." I said. She handed me the pills and the cup. "It's Tylenol. If it doesn't work let me know, doc also ordered you some Percocet, but that's a bit much for a simple headache."

I wanted so badly to tell her she has no clue about my headaches, how they were anything but simple. That I have often had to give up the day and go to sleep to make the pain go away when the pills don't work. However, I knew getting snippy wasn't the right thing to do right now, and I really didn't need the gang knowing how bad it still was. Granted, my headaches had tapered down in frequency, but I still got them.

"Thanks." I said, swallowing the pills then chasing them with the water. "Who are you?" I asked finally.

"Oh, I'm ..uh, Patricia Baxter, a nursing student and EMT."

She seemed a bit nervous. Soda cleared it up.

"Pony, she's my girlfriend." He came over and wrapped his arms around her, while she looked over at him, smiling. "Patty, my baby brother Ponyboy.... Pony, this is Patty. The lady I told you about in Montana."

"Okay, things are getting a tad cozy in here. Kid seems fine, so I'm gonna cut out for a bit. You want anything before I leave, Pone?"

"Yeah...get me something to eat if you don't mind. I'm starved. Where's my... ah, _shit_...my _wallet_. Never mind." I shook my head, remembering.

"What? You need some cash?" Darry asked, reaching into his own back pocket.

"I got mugged. My wallet got stolen." I said in disbelief.

"Before you came down?" Soda asked, looking at me seriously.

I looked at them, almost ready to laugh at my own misfortune. "No, if you can believe it, I got mugged _after_ I made it across the freeway on my walk home. _After_ the crash, no less! Coupla thugs thought I was drunk, kicked me a few times then made off with my wallet. I didn't have anything of real value in it...just my drivers license and a few bucks.

"Geez, Pony!" Soda said.

"I got ya covered, kid. Don't worry about it." Two-Bit walked out, letting the door close behind him.

Darry pulled out some bills and handed them to me.

"I can't take this." I said. I figured I'd call the bank and have some money transferred once I got back to Darry's.

"Take it. Don't argue." He said in that _I am Darry, hear me roar,_ tone I was so used to. Only now I wasn't so afraid of it.

I took the money and set it on the table. I wasn't exactly wearing anything that had pockets.

The door opened again. It wasn't Two-Bit.

"I heard the local hero had woken up. I'm Dr. Robinson. I had you admitted for observation when they brought you in, didn't know how long it would take you to wake up after your ordeal. How are you, Mr. Curtis?" He shook my hand.

"Better now, sir."

"Tell me what you remember about what happened." He said as he looked at my eyes, my arms and my back then checked my chart.

"Where do you want me to start?" This was gonna be a long story, and as a writer...I love details.

"Since the crash, if you remember that much."

I took a moment to think about it. "I knew the plane was going down when the engines died. We went into the ground, the plane breaking apart on impact. Those who could get out did. I heard some kids screaming and went to help them and their mother, tossing one of the kids to a stewardess and hauling the mother and the other kid out of the plane. Once help arrived for the mother and the kid, I kinda wanted to get out of there and knew I wasn't very far from home, so I started walking. I had walked it many times before in the past so I didn't think anything of it. Trip took longer than I expected it to, overnight and all, but I made it. I lay down on the bed at the house, then woke up here. There are other minor plot points that I left out, but that's the general idea, sir."

"He's a writer, in case you haven't figured that out." Soda said, beaming.

"I see. Well, there isn't much more we can do for him here. Mr. Curtis, take it easy, rest, drink plenty of fluids and if you are ever in another emergency, I'd advise you to wait for medical care at the scene. You have 10 stitches in your scalp, they need to come out in about ten days. Your own doctor can do that. I have a prescription for pain medicine for you, light stuff for dull aches and pains as I'm sure you must be feeling rather beaten up right about now, and some stronger stuff that has a tendency to knock the wind out of anyone's sails. No driving though if you use that. Understood?" He asked.

"Yes sir, I understand. Does that mean I can be released now?" I asked.

"I'll start the paperwork. I still need to keep you for another hour, but by then everything should be in order."

"Thanks, doc." I said as he left the room.

"I'll go back to the house and get you some clothes." Darry said.

"I doubt anything I left there will still fit me, Dar." I said.

"Not your old clothes from two years ago, doofus, the airline brought your suitcase to the house. I'm sure you packed something that will fit you now."

"You're kidding me? They found my bag?"

The door opened and Two-Bit came in with a few sacks of food.

"Nope, not kidding. Got your bag this morning. I'll be back in a bit."

"I got to get to work, kid. See you at the house later. Ashley... a pleasure as always." Steve nodded in our direction and headed out.

"Hold up, Steve-O, I'll bum a ride with you. Pony, I gotta get home. My mom's got issues with my sis...so I'll catch you on the flipside. Later, Ashley, Soda!"

"Bye, Two-Bit. Thanks for the food."

Two-Bit went running out the door, racing to catch up with Steve, who's known to only wait for Soda.

"Damn, Pony, did you at least see who mugged you?" Soda asked, getting back to that.

I shook my head. "No. Couldn't even tell if it was us or them. I don't exactly dress or look right for either part now, huh?"

My hair was decently cut short and my clothes... when they weren't burned off me, were good fitting jeans and button up shirts or nicer pull on shirts. I wasn't no Soc, but I had lost that greaser quality too. I hadn't bummed around in a faded torn T-shirt since I left here, a long, long time ago.

"No, but we've all grown some since then."

"You used to dress differently?" Ashley asked, finally finding her voice again.

Soda looked at her with an amused smile on his face. "This here used to be the slickest hood in Tulsa, Ashley!" He said ready to laugh as he rubbed my head, careful to avoid the stitches.

"Well, I may have had the greasiest hair, but you had the best looking hair, Sodapop. Everyone said so." Soda's hair was short and well kept now, neither of us using hair oil anymore. I remembered he hadn't had any in Montana either. Only Two-Bit refused to give up the past, but even he wasn't using very much it seemed.

"We were quite the hoods, huh, little brother?" His eyes danced.

"Yep, every last one of us." I agreed. "You've seen the group picture of all of us, Ash." I reminded her.

"But that was so long ago! How long did you go around looking like that?" She looked astonished.

"What, no gangs up in Montana?" Soda asked me.

I shook my head. "Peaceful country folk. That's why I like them."

We sat there an hour or so going over the differences between Tulsa and Montana, Ashley seemingly more amazed at what type of life I had before moving north. Darry eventually returned, carrying some of my clothes in a bag. I was looking forward to getting dressed and getting out of the hospital. I wasn't sick, and except for the cut and a bad burn on my back as well as a tiny dehydration issue going on, I was fine. I didn't come all the way down here to stay in a hospital bed.

"Mr. Curtis?" The door opened and a nurse stood in the door. "I have some cream for your back, to help with the burn. The doctor wants it applied before you go home. When I'm done, you'll be free to leave. That alright with you?" She asked as she came over to the bedside.

I started to take off the gown top, eager to get out of the hospital. Ashley, however, wasn't quite ready for that. She hadn't seen me topless before and even I was surprised by how skittish she was. Then again, I wasn't about to make her stand there and watch me either if she didn't want to. I was still covered up from the waist down with the sheets though.

"You mind if I take this, Lisa?" Patty asked.

The nurse looked at Patty then finally relented. I didn't care who did it. Lets get the show on the road so I can get home!

"It's not blistered, so you're about as lucky as anyone gets. Just as red as a lobster. This will help numb it as well as keep any infection out." Patty said to me as she slathered that stuff all over my back. The whole time she was doing this, I kept looking at Soda, who looked at Patty with admiration and longing. It dawned on me where they were headed, I just wondered how long it was gonna take him to get there. He finally looked at me and his expression changed to one of confusion.

"What?" he asked.

I smiled and shook my head.

"Get a clue, Soda, get a clue!" I said as Patty helped me put on a loose T-shirt so the cream wouldn't smear off.

"I think that head injury of yours might need further evaluation." Soda said, rolling his eyes at me.

They had sutured my scalp, somehow I managed to get a cut almost two inches long back behind my ear. It was in the hair, and thankfully they didn't shave my head to get to it. I think a little pleading from a particular nursing student helped me avoid that.

"Drat, another hold up. Your pills. Once the pharmacy comes around with your pills, you can go home." Patty said, checking my chart. "I would go get them, but I'm only a student still... they wont give them to me.

"I'll go get them, if I can get some pretty nursing student to show me the way!" Soda said. Patty went and took his hand as they went out the door, letting it shut behind me. Only Darry and I were left in the room.

"Good lord...is he ever in love with her!"

"Ah, so you noticed that too." He said with a grin as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Look, I may have survived a plane crash...but I ain't that out of touch! Geez, he's got it bad!"

Darry looked at the floor. From experience, I knew something was up. Floors only become interesting when something weighs on his mind. "Yup, you're right, Pony. He's got it bad." He finally looked at me.

"Hey, Darry, I'm alright ya know. A whack to the head and a minor burn over my backside that wont even leave a scar...or at least much of one anyway. Don't get all worked up or nothing. Hand me my jeans if you don't mind. At least I can get dressed while I wait for the love birds to return with my pills."

He reached over and handed me a pair of jeans I had brought down in my suitcase. I still couldn't get over the fact that the airline sent my suitcase to the house. I pulled them on while Darry looked out the window. He had that hundred yard stare, where he really didn't see anything except the thoughts in his own head.

"I really am fine Darry..." I started, but he cut me off.

"It isn't you, Ponyboy. I know you're fine. I watched him take care of you, and knew you would be alright."

I was confused now. "So what's bugging you?" I asked.

He turned and looked over at the door, making sure it was shut.

"I need to ask a favor of you, one I never thought I'd have to ask either of you to do. Certainly not this soon, and certainly not of_ you_. I thought I'd have to ask Soda to do this... but …. well... hell."

I just looked at him. Darry was at a loss for words! This was a feat accomplished only a few times in his life that I had witnessed! I went over to him and looked closer. "What is it, Dar? Tell me."

He looked at me and got real quiet. "I want you to lay subtle hints that it's time for him to move out. Get his own place."

I looked at Darry with surprise at first, then stormy eyes. "You have_ got_ to be kidding me? And on his _birthday_? Well that's just great! 'Happy birthday Soda, now get the hell out of Darry's house.' I thought you two got along great.... now you want him to move _out_?"

Darry looked shocked. "Ponyboy, that isn't what I'm talking about. Shut up before he hears you and let me explain. He's doing fine now, making damn near the same amount I am and works less than I do. An apartment isn't as expensive as a house and there are some really nice ones out by the overpass that I just finished roofing. I looked into them, he'd be set up fine there. He's rarely home anyway, always off with Patty ...and even you can see how much he loves her." I nodded my head in agreement. "She's got a good future ahead of her too. Nurses are always being hired and she'll be graduating in May. Soda told me this hospital's already offered her a job once she graduates."

"What does any of that have to do with wanting Soda to leave?" I asked, leaning back against the bed.

Darry's look was desperate. "He's afraid, Ponyboy. Afraid to take that first step. He'll be twenty-one tomorrow - old enough, responsible enough and financially strong enough to be on his own. And once on his own, I think he'll see that the possibilities are endless... by himself or with Patty. He's ready, Pony, but I just got to push him out of the nest and let him figure out that he _can_ fly - on his own. And if he crashes, well then it's not like I'm going anywhere. He can always come back. I'd even _expect_ him to be back on a daily basis anyway to mooch food off me and use the laundry machines. But if for whatever reason it doesn't work out he can come back. Both of you can.... even _you_ know that. You will always have a home to go to as long as I live, no matter how old I get, or how old y'all make me feel."

"But why me?" I asked, realizing once again that Darry was right. Kinda hard to bring your girlfriend and her son into someone else's house....especially when the house is as small as Darry's.

"Ponyboy..I never expected it to be this way. I figured I'd have to tell _you_ to get an apartment and that Soda would be with me forever. But then he got his GED, went to EMT school, and now has a really good job...and watching him take care of you earlier...I knew it was different. I knew it was time. He's ready … and for once... I'm the one who's not. Oh, financially I can do it, that's not the problem. I just never thought the time would come when both my brothers would be able to be on their own, but the time _has_ come. I need you to do this because you've already experienced all the trials of being on your own, so you can speak from experience. Even I can't do that. Remember, I _inherited _all this. I was never on my own before taking on you guys. And don't look at me that way, I've _never_ regretted that responsibility either. Besides, you're better with words. I push shingles and nails all day, not write and illustrate novels for a living." Darry smiled at me when he said this and I could hear the pride in his voice. He had to have seen my book in the suitcase when he got me my jeans. "All he needs are a few subtle hints, planted at the right times. He's not _that_ thick headed.... unlike another brother of mine." He grinned at me, shoving me a little. I guess he forgot I already felt like a punching bag after a day long workout. "But I need your help. Will you do this for me. You don't have to if you really don't want to, and you don't have to say anything to him now either."

The door opened and Ashley and Soda came back inside. Ashley made a bee-line for my arms and as I held her I looked at Soda, knowing too that it was time. "Yeah, Darry. Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"Take care of what?" Soda asked as he stood by Darry.

"The cake, of course." I said with a smile. "Can't have a birthday without a cake!"

Darry and Soda both smiled, but I'm sure for different reasons.

XXX


	16. Hall OF Fame

Chapter 16

Hall Of Fame

XXX

Once my release papers were signed and I could finally leave, Darry drove me and Ashley home while Soda and Patty left to go check on her little boy, Andy.

"I'll be over later, Pone. You take it easy, you hear me? And drink plenty of water." He ordered. Man, I had enough people around me trying to be my doctor. Darry, Soda...his girlfriend Patty, the real doc who released me and Ashley, who kept handing me a cup filled to the brim with ice water every time I turned around. I tried to make them all happy, but by the time I got home I felt like my kidneys were swimming!

"I'll be right back." I said as I went to the bathroom for what had to be the tenth time since I woke up in the hospital.

"Hey, Pony," Darry called as I finished washing my hands and came back out. He was standing in the doorway waiting on me, jacket on and keys in his hand. "It's getting late, too late to cook so I'm gonna go get something at the store. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He didn't move at first, looking at me like he was unsure he should go. "Go on, Darry. Pick up some of that potato salad if they have any of it while you're gone." He smiled, then left.

We were finally alone in the house. She came over to me and wrapped her arms around me. When she pulled me closer she inadvertently put pressure on my back. I couldn't help it...I gasped. She instantly let go. "Alright, Mr. Tough Guy, how bad are you hurt? And don't give me any of that '_I'm strong in front of my family'_ bullshit you've been handing out all day. No one just walks away from a plane crash without a scratch. Not even you."

"Ash, I've never heard you talk like this. What is that, the third swear word from you today?" I teased.

"My back is scorched and my whole body is sore, but I swear, I'm fine." She just looked at me... all angry-like until her resolve broke and she lay her head on my chest. I put my arms around her and held her a minute. The sky was still lit with the days sun, but in about two hours it would be dark.

"Do you have your coat?" I asked her softly. She nodded. "Get it. I want to take you somewhere before the gang gets back." I reached in the hall closet and got one of Darry's coats, pulling it on.

"You're supposed to be resting, Ponyboy. Remember?" She scolded.

"I will. Come on. The bus will be here soon."

I held her hand for the walk up the three blocks to the stop, making it just in time for the bus to come rolling in. Ten minutes later I stood up and pulled the cord signaling the driver this is where I wanted off at. I took Ash's hand helping her down as we got off the bus. Another block up and I stopped. The iron gates to West Lawn Cemetery stood in front of us and Ashley looked at me, confused. I held her hand in mine as I crossed that threshold, headed off to the far side of section 17... over by the Willow tree. As we got closer to the red clay colored granite headstone that bore the names of my parents, she understood.

I bent down at my dad's side of the stone and looked at it, saying nothing for a while. I remembered them, the way he used to look at mom, nothing but unconditional love in his eyes for her. He was a hard worker, leaving the house before sunup and sometimes not getting home until after dark. But he worked an honest job for an honest wage and never complained either about it or how little we had. Laying asphalt and widening roads all day, he did his best for his family and loved us all. I knew he loved me, but we had so little in common. I vowed I'd be as good a husband to my wife as he was to my mother, if that were even possible. I brushed off some fallen leaves from the stone and smiled.

"Mom. Dad. This is Ashley. She's the best thing I have going on in my life. I hope you approve, cause I've asked her to marry me." I looked at their names a few seconds longer, wondering what their responses would be if they had been alive to give them. My gaze then moved to Ashley, standing next to me. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I reached for it. Her grip was strong in mine. I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed the backside of her wrist. She kneeled down at my side, and interlaced her fingers with mine. We stayed like that, not saying a word for a few more minutes. I cleared as much of the fallen leaves and small twigs from the ground covering my parents and stood up. I had to reach out and grab the headstone a moment, as a sudden wave of dizziness hit me.

"Ponyboy?" Ashley asked concerned, putting an arm around me to keep me from pitching forward anymore.

"I'm fine, just got up too fast is all." I said. She stood so close to me and her eyes looked into mine. My eyes held the honesty of my love while hers held worry. Worry that faded the longer I held her. I could feel the warmth of her breath on my face as I slowly bent down, kissing her lightly at first then, as she opened up, deeper still. I let go of my parents headstone as I held her closely to me. Her lips tasted so good, her tongue teased my own. We were so close I knew she had to tell how alert I was to her. Finally she pulled away, and I let her. My arms still held her to me, but I rested my forehead on hers.

"I love you, Ashley. I never want to lose you, and I thought in that crash I had. All I wanted was to hold you in my arms again. Hear your voice again. Feel your touch again." Damn, this wasn't doing anything to settle me down, but I couldn't stop holding her, and she didn't pull away from my arms either. I wanted her so badly, the will to hold myself back was fading. My hands started to shake as one of them slowly slid to her neck. I caressed the skin at the nape of her neck, feeling her muscles change in tension as she lifted her head back to mine. I kissed her deeper than I ever had before, desiring so much more than this. I leaned in closer to her body, desperately wanting to feel her on me. Through my clothes I could feel her body also begin to press on mine... and for a moment she stayed. Then like an unexpected thunder clap in a clear blue sky, she pulled away, leaving me startled, a fluttery incomplete feeling taking hold of my stomach.

"I can't... Ponyboy. Not... not yet. "I'm ...I'm sorry." She said as she came back to me, wanting to hold my hand.

"Don't.... please Ashley.... let me alone a minute. I'll be fine. Promise. There's some benches over down the path... I'll be along in a minute. Please."

I couldn't look at her while saying that. I leaned over my parents headstone, knowing I'd be getting the tar beat out of me by dad right about now and …. who knows what mom would be doing. I worked at getting my breathing back in order, my eyes to see straight again and most of all, waiting for the tension in my lower half to dissipate. I could only wait that out, anything else would be ...well, just wrong. Finally I could walk right again.

As I headed out to where Ashley was waiting, I passed a simple headstone, one I had seen many times but not as much as my parents. _Dallas Winston_ was engraved on it. I could hear that old hood hysterically laughing at me now in my head. "Oh shut up, Dally." I said softly.

"Are you okay?" Ashley asked me softly when I joined her and took her hand as we headed back to the bus stop.

"Yep. I'm fine. You?" I asked gently.

"I'm sorry, Ponyboy." She started. I turned her to face me.

"Don't be sorry. That was my fault. One day this will work out. I can wait. For you, I'll wait. Simple as that." I said smiling at her.

She started to put her arm around me but I shook my head. "Lets just hold hands for now, okay?" I asked. She turned a few shades of crimson and nodded her head. The bus was coming to the stop, and we were finally on the way back to Darry's. I hoped he remembered the potato salad.

XXX

"Where have you been?" Darry asked me as Ash and I made our way into the house. Wow did that bring back memories! Soda and Steve were at the table already, looks like they were halfway through with dinner. Soda just looked at Darry as if he also remembered and was having a case of deja vu too.

I took her coat and the one I had borrowed and hung them up in the closet. "We went for a walk, Darry. Showed her some of the neighborhood." I said innocently enough. It was sort of true, the bus went by the DX where Soda and Steve used to work at and passed a block away from my old high school. We even drove around the park where so many of my nightmares stem from. I didn't tell Ashley my life almost ended there, drowned by a bunch of drunken kids looking for kicks. Figured I was the only one needing to worry about that. As far as she knew, it was just the local park.

"At this time of the night you decide to take your fiancée on a walk of the neighborhood? Ponyboy, I swear!" Darry just looked at me, disbelief etched on his forehead.

"We went to the cemetery, Darry, he wanted to show me your parents grave site. Sorry if we were gone too long." Ashley said.

Darry was left speechless. He looked down then shook his head. "Sorry, Ashley, Pony. I sometimes forget he's not fourteen anymore." He went into the kitchen and got out some plates and forks. I picked up the piano bench to bring to the table as we were out of chairs, then dropped it, a sudden feeling of being lightheaded taking over again.

Darry came over. "You okay Ponyboy?" He asked, looking at me closely.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just need my second wind to come in." He kept looking at me, not trusting me as usual. He always had good instincts when it came to my health.

"Come on, I want you to sit down. I bet you haven't sat down since I left for the store, the bus ride doesn't count either." I followed him to the table and took the spot next to Ashley on the bench. We ate while they talked about their day. They asked Ash about her classes and being a future teacher. She asked them about their jobs. Normal banter. Unfortunately, I was falling asleep listening to it.

"Pony?" I heard her call to me and acutely realized everyone was looking at me.

"Soda's asked you five times now when your graduation date is. Haven't you heard a word?"

"He can't hear when he's asleep, Ashley. WAKE UP!" A newspaper whacked me on the head...too damn close to my stitches and it sent me to my feet, ready to punch the crap out of who ever hit me.

"Damn it, Steve, that hurt!" I said, sitting back down and rubbing my head where the stitches were.

Soda got up and came over, looking in my hair for the spot. He scrutinized it, then ruffled my hair on the other side. "It ain't bleeding. Doc Robinson usually does a great job with his sutures. You'll be fine." He said sitting down. To Steve, he growled..."Don't go whacking him on the head again, moron."

"Yeah, whatever. The kid can take it, he's tough."

Darry looked at me. "Pony, go get ready for bed. You sit there any longer and you'll be taking a nosedive into your plate."

I got up without argument. I was past exhausted and was only trying to stay alert for Ash's sake. I didn't give a hang what the rest of the group thought.

While I was brushing my teeth, Soda came in.

"You take my bed, I'm gonna take the couch."

"I can sleep on the couch, Soda...you ain't got to give up your bed."

"You know as well as I do that Darry ain't gonna make you sleep on the couch after you fell out of the sky two nights ago. Take the bed and don't argue. I even put fresh sheets down on it."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

I went in and sat on the bed. His bed, my bed... who's bed was this anyway? I lay back, trying to think who had it first. He had been using it since he came back from Nam, I had used it while he was away, we used the other room together since mom and dad died.... My thoughts faded before I could remember.

XXX

I looked at my youngest brother, sprawled out fast asleep on the old bed. Soda was putting a sheet and blanket on the couch where he was gonna sleep tonight. Ashley was behind closed doors doing whatever eighteen year old ladies do in the bathroom while getting themselves ready for bed. Everyone else had cleared out. It was late and I was exhausted. I wouldn't give in until everyone was bedded down though. I sure hoped she didn't take long.

Finally I heard the door open and she came out.

"G'night, Darry," she called down to me as I sat in my chair with my paper. Then she slipped into the other room, closing the door behind her. I sighed.

"Well, he's home again. For another day at least." Soda's low voice came out from the twisted jumble of blanket, sheet and pillow that slightly moved on my couch.

"Yep...he's home." I agreed. It had been years since I had them both under my roof. I wished I could freeze time and keep them here, but I couldn't. "Good night, Sodapop." I softly said as I got up.

"Night, Darry, " he called back.

XXXXX

The smell of pancakes and bacon, mixed with coffee and … baked cinnamon apples woke me. Was it Christmas? I got out of bed and meandered my way to the kitchen. Soda sat at the table still dressed in his t-shirt and sweat pants while Ashley had all the burners going and the oven in full operation too.

"You didn't tell us she could cook, Pony." He said having another sip of the coffee.

Heavy footsteps came from down the hall as Darry showed up. "Ashley, darlin, no one expected you to cook..."

She turned to him, smiling. "Oh, this isn't cooking, this is just breakfast. I hope it isn't too much." I looked around. There was more food here than they serve at the buffet in town. And baked cinnamon apples? We hadn't had those since I was maybe ten years old. I _liked_ them, but they were a lot of work...and us being boys, we never went in for work to make breakfast.

I gave her a quick kiss on the side of her head, smiling. "It looks great, Ash. Thanks."

"Morning, Pony." She said smiling at me. I knew there was a hidden meaning behind those eyes.

The door opened and Two-Bit showed up. "Wow, smells good in here! Hey, before I forget, Happy Birthday Soda!" He said, slapping Soda on his backside hard as if he had been choking.

"Y'all grab a plate, it's ready when you are."

She turned off the burners and went to the couch, folded up the bedding Soda had left there than sat down. I went and joined her.

"How ya feeling?" She asked me as she curled up next to me on the couch.

"Much better." I said, brushing the hair from her eyes.

"Are you still mad at me from yesterday?" She asked, which confused me at first. Then I realized what she meant.

I smiled at her, knowing that while she knew _anatomy,_ she didn't understand I wasn't a light switch that can turn on and off without needing a cool down. She thought I was mad at her for sending her to the bench. "I can never be mad at you. One day you'll understand."

"What day is that?" She asked.

I smiled. "May tenth. All questions will be answered." I whispered.

She smiled, realizing what I meant and turned a few shades of scarlet. Then she started giggling, which sent me into my own bout of semi-contained laughter. I don't know why, but she just had that effect on me. Next thing I knew, we were both laughing and had everyone's attention.

"What's so funny?" Two-Bit wanted to know.

Darry just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

She looked at me, and I shook my own head. I knew better than to tell and thankfully Ash followed my lead on it. It, however, sent her into a new giggle fit. Before long, my sides hurt from all the laughing. I pulled her up from the couch and went to have breakfast.

XXX

"So this is your school" I looked around. It was bigger than Pembroke by almost double the size.

"Yep." He was looking at the walls..at the banners and posters that were hanging on the walls around us.

"Come on, I want to show you something else." He took my hand and led me from building to building. I may never have been here before, but I recognized the building he took me into. The gym. Sweat and dirty socks and musty towels all have the same smell, no matter what school you go to. Made me want to wretch.

He took me to the large trophy case. Inside it was his picture along with a faded ribbon. His hair was so long in the picture, I almost didn't recognize him. I bent down to read the faded card that went with it. "_Second Place Finish, Track and Field, State Finals_." I looked at him, he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Told you I could run. I was only off that guy by this much!" He held up his thumb and index finger allowing only the smallest amount of space between them.

"You didn't try the next year?"

His smile faded. "I was in Montana by then."

It dawned on me how much he missed this. What he gave up by leaving. We walked outside out by the track where I knew he had pounded the track and lost gallons of sweat on the red clay, all to give it up and leave.

"Curtis? That you, son! Well, have mercy!"

Pony turned to the man calling him, and right away Pony's face lit up. "Coach! How are you?"

"I've been missing my star runner! I couldn't believe it when they told me you dropped out. Never saw that one coming. You were an honor student and star athlete. What happened?"

"Just a whole lot of life. This is my fiancée, Ashley Benning."

"Fiancée? Ponyboy...things _have _changed huh? Where're you working at? The DX with your brother?"

I smiled. "No coach. I'm in college in Montana, and I work as an illustrator for kids books. I do cover art for publishers too. In the spring, I'm an assistant coach for track at the local school by my house. As far as Soda goes, he's now an Emergency Medical Technician."

The coaches eyes got bigger each time Pony rattled off his and his brother's accomplishments. I had a feeling he was showing off a bit. I was glad too. It seemed everyone here thought he was another useless waste of space. I was glad to see he could show them all up. He may not have finished first here in this school, but he finished first in life.

They yapped it up a while longer... I was already bored with the topic. Ponyboy knew I wasn't into sports. Finally they shook hands again and he took my hand as we walked off. "Feel better now?" I asked.

A big smile spread over his face as he knew what I meant. Now they _all_ knew he had been successful, that he had accomplished great things. He could move on now. This was finally behind him.

XXX

The house was full of people. Most I knew, a few were new to me. This little boy in particular seemed very fascinated with me.

"Your a pony boy?" He asked as he sat by me on the couch.

"That's my name." I said smiling at him.

"A boy pony?" He looked at me, his face all squirreled up in confusion. I heard stifled laughter and looked over at Soda and Patty. Soda just shrugged his shoulders, not helping me a bit.

"No... see, my_ name _is Ponyboy. Just like your's is Andy." I explained, or at least tried to. Hard to figure out what a three year old can fully understand. Or an_ almost _three year old. Soda told me his birthday was next month.

"Okay," he said, sliding off the couch and getting a book from the shelf. I laughed. I knew that book because I illustrated it. He came back to me and climbed up in my lap again, opening the book and pointing to a picture. "Dats a pony," he said rather matter -of- factly.

"Yes. You are right. That _is_ a pony." I said. Laughter came pouring in from the direction of the table now as everyone was paying attention. "And my _name_ is Ponyboy. Just as your mom's name is Patty and his name is Sodapop." I said, pointing at the smiling and giggling duo sitting on the armchair.

"Dat's _mommy_," he said with an attitude, sliding down again off the couch again and going to the kitchen.

"Give it up, Ponyboy..he's too young to understand. He's just now getting used to my name!" Soda said, pulling Patty into his lap from her perch on the arm of the chair.

Just then, little Andy came back from the kitchen carrying one of Two-Bits long-neck bottles of beer. "And dis is a soda!" He said just as firmly. Thankfully, the beer was still sealed.

Adult hands reached for him as he made his way through the crowd, but I got to the beer first. "Tell ya what, squirt. I'll take the 'soda,' why don't you go play with the blocks."

"Okay." He said, sitting on the floor in front of the TV picking up the toys.

I got up and took the bottle back to the kitchen, this time putting it on a higher shelf in the fridge and helped myself to another of the ribs Darry had cooked for Soda's birthday. The crowd was a good sized one, of course Two-Bit and Steve were here, Ashley was on the couch looking through our old photo albums not realizing Patty and Soda were swapping spit playing tonsil hockey in the chair. Obviously they had played that game before. When Ashley looked up, she got all red in the face and came into the kitchen with me. I noticed Darry also saw what had happened and grinned somewhat before tossing a dishtowel at Soda.

Soda and Patty quit their antics right away, but Ashley wasn't coming back out.

"Ya gotta excuse my brother. He's normally not that indiscreet." I said softly.

"His house, not mine." She said quietly, of course reminding me of my promise to Darry. I could see his point now too, obviously Soda needed his own place.

The front door opened and someone new came in. I recognized her from the airplane. Michelle. I thought she had come to drop off something for me, until Darry went over and gave her a peck on the lips. Nothing big, her lipstick wasn't even smudged from the act... but _I WAS FLOORED!_ Since when did Darry start seeing …. _anyone_?

"Pony, I think you might remember Shelly. She's a stewardess on the flight you took" Darry said introducing me. "She and I have been seeing each other since our return trip from Montana." I just stared at her.

"Pony?" He said, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes, effectively waking me up.

"Oh stop, Darry! After saving that family and everything else he's been through, he can stare all he wants." Shelly said to him as he wrapped his big arms around her, then she looked back at me. "It's good to see you again, and to see you in one piece, too. I've been worried about you. I had no idea you were Darry's brother until he showed me your picture in the hospital and told me who you were. How are you?"

"I'm fine, but don't ask me to fly again. I think I'm done with that."

"Can't say I blame you." She said, then turned her attention back to Darry. Even I was surprised at how he suddenly tuned everything else out. I had never seen my oldest brother like this before.

I looked over and saw Soda by himself now, Patty taking Andy to the back.

"I'll be back in a while, Ashley." I said, giving her a quick kiss. She looked at me but didn't say anything. "Hey Soda... take a walk with me." I said. We got our coats and walked outside. The stars were out and the moon was just a sliver of a thumbnail. We walked along in silence for a block or so before either of us said a word.

"I'm sorry bout that back at the house. I forgot Ashley ain't used to us yet." Soda said.

"No, she sure isn't used to _that._..that's for sure."

"How far you been, Pone?" He asked. Man, I was hating this conversation already.

"We've kissed." I said simply, not getting into what happened at the cemetery last night.

"That's_ it?_" He was amazed. "You're still determined to hold out until your wedding?" Soda looked at me curiously.

"Yep. I ain't missing nothing I won't get then."

"Wow." He said simply.

"Soda, why are you still staying at Darry's house?" I stopped in the street and asked, tired of trying to figure out a way to play cat and mouse. Darry should have known I wasn't good at being subtle. My whole life was anything but subtle. Didn't a simple flight that turned into a plane crash tell him that?

Soda just stopped and looked at me, shocked. "It's where I _live_, Pony. You know that." He said.

"But you're 21 now. Doing well and with a girlfriend.... obviously a serious girlfriend. You need your own space, giving Darry back his in the process. Maybe he'll get serious with Shelly back there, maybe he'll finally go to college, maybe he'll finally feel young again. I'm already out, his parenting days are done for now... until he decides to become one the normal way that is. Don't you think he's ready to have the house all to himself again... at least when you and the rest of the neighborhood ain't in there?"

Soda looked down, pushing a rock with his shoe.

"It ain't like you'll be all the way in Montana like me. You can come back a million times a day if you want. I also know that if Steve Randle can get and keep an apartment...yeah, I_ know _he has his own place and has had it since you guys returned from the war, then you can do the same. It don't cost that much. Look, I didn't get you much for your birthday, so how's this. You find the place, I'll pay your deposit and your first month's rent. My gift to you."

Soda just looked at me shaking his head. "No, Ponyboy. I can't take your money..."

"Shuddup, Sodapop. You gave up your high school education to support me and help Darry with the bills when we were always a plug nickel away from the boys home. This isn't anything compared to what you sacrificed. I owe you, you and Darry both. It's a bill I cant ever repay, but I can help you now. Let me do this. I got the dough. We help each other out, right? It's what Curtis's do. You already know Ashley and I are leaving tomorrow, so I wont get to see the place you pick out. I'll leave you a check for $400, that should cover the tab. If you need more, call me. If there's anything left, buy yourself a present. Okay?"

Soda just looked at me. "Pony... I... I dunno man."

"Sodapop, you survived a war. You can survive an _apartment_. You won't be alone for long...if at all. If I know Steve and Two-Bit, they'll be over raiding your fridge giving Darry a break for once. Plus, you can bring over Patty for more uninterrupted games of Tonsil Hockey!"

"Awww, Ponyboy!" He said, smiling as we headed back. Another few silent steps later and he looked at me again, this time seriously. "You really have to go back?"

"Yeah, they should have the heat fixed at the college by now, and I have to get more feed for the horses. Things to do, big brother. Things to do."

"I'm gonna miss you around here again." Soda said.

I just looked at him and smiled. We'd always miss each other. We're supposed to, we're brothers.

XXX

Ashley was playing mom's piano when Soda and I got back. She stopped and smiled as I came in, and I sat next to her on the bench. The house was considerably quieter than it was when we left. I looked around. Darry and Shelly were on the couch watching Ashley play and Steve and Two-Bit were scraping the last of the potato salad from the bowl. Soda wandered off down the hall to find Patty.

Ashley was playing a piece she had been learning for a while by Michael Nyman, titled The Heart Asks The Pleasure First. She nodded and I jumped in, smiling as I was able to maneuver the keys to keep up with her. A smattering of applause came from the couch – for Ashley...not me. I knew better than that.

"That was beautiful, Ashley. How long have you been playing?" Shelly asked.

"Since I was about four years old." She said, blushing slightly.

"Well, gang, this has been fun. I got to get on home. Since I took the last two days off to search for Pony here, boss wants me in early and I get to enjoy working the weekend shift too." Two-Bit started pulling on his coat. Steve was doing the same.

"Hey Soda!" He yelled down the hall. Soda emerged from his small bedroom and came out. I noticed a very red Patty came out behind him. Uh huh. "Happy birthday, dude. I got to go. Thanks for dinner, Darry," he said then turned to me. "Catch you next time, kid."

"Not a problem, Steve. See you guys tomorrow." Darry answered back.

"By Steve. Thanks." I called. Then he whacked me on my raw back as he went out the door, making me gasp.

"You okay?" Ashley asked me as I winced in pain. She didn't know about Steve's sense of humor, and apparently I had forgotten it. I should have been expecting it and seen it coming.

"Oh, yeah. That's just Steve being Steve." I said, rolling my shoulders.

"Hey Darry... Patty and I are going out. Don't wait up. Pony, Ashley, I'll see y'all in the morning." Soda cradled a sleeping Andy in his arms and they walked out to her car.

"Bye!" I called out.

A few minutes after they left, Shelly also got up and started getting her coat. They were talking just under their breath, obviously not wanting me to hear. I didn't really care what they said. I was hauling in the dirty dishes as Ashley scraped bowls and plates to put them in the sink.

"Ponyboy, I'm gonna take Shelly back to her place" Darry said. I thought nothing of it until... . "This is your home too so I ain't gotta tell you to help yourself to anything. I'll be back in the morning. Okay, kiddo?" He asked, a look in his eyes I hadn't seen before. I knew exactly what he meant.

"Yeah, sure Darry. Um, see you in the morning."

The door closed and I looked at Ashley doing the dishes. I went next to her and took over the washing while she wiped down the counters and the table. Eventually the job was done. I locked the door and turned out the house lights then took her hand and guided her to the bedroom she was using. She looked at me unsure what I was doing, and I could see the uncertainty in her eyes.

"Do you trust me?" I asked simply.

She looked at the bed and back at me... "Of course I do." Her voice was convincing while her eyes were full of questions.

"Good. I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready for bed too." I reached into a drawer and got some stuff and went to take care of business. When I finished with the bathroom, I got dressed in my sweats and one of Darry's large shirts to keep my raw back from being irritated from the material. When I returned to the bedroom she was still where I left her, dressed and looking as nervous as ever. "Go do whatever you need to do." I softly said as I turned down the bed. She went on and returned about thirty minutes later in a pair of flannel pajamas that covered nearly every inch of her except her hands and feet. I expected no less. Her hair was still damp, but I knew Darry didn't have a hairdryer. She looked at me, not knowing what to do.

"Come here." I softly said, holding my hand out to her. She came over and I guided her down next to me on the bed. Finally she lay down on her side and seemed to relax just a little. I draped my arm over hers and followed it down until I found her hand resting on the pillow. I took it in mine and held it, my thumb at first gently caressing the soft backside of her hand then my fingers intertwining with hers until I felt her finally relax completely. I smelled the sweet scent of her shampoo as she nestled a little closer to me and I a little closer to her. I made sure not to touch her anywhere else, trying to keep the want of desire to a minimum.

"Pony," her small voice called out into the darkness to me. "Do you ever regret that we haven't... you know.... gone further?"

Her thoughts sort of read my mind. I wanted to.... so help me _God _ I **wanted** to. But I didn't. I wouldn't. I had made a promise to her, to her father and to myself. I was determined to keep that promise. My resolve had returned, stronger than ever.

"Ashley, I will never make you do anything you aren't ready for, and I can tell you just aren't ready. Not yet. So no, I don't regret anything. I love being with you. I'm glad you trust _me_, to lay here with me like this, especially after yesterday."

"I'm sorry I'm not ready. I know you've been ready for a long time and I'm holding you back." Her small voice was almost too much for me.

"You aren't holding me back. I can wait. For you, I will wait forever. You're worth it. I promise you this much, I will never hurt you. Ever. I love you, Ashley." I said to her in the darkness.

"I love you too, Ponyboy."

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose

This chapter referenced music by Pianist Michael Nyman, who's works were used in the movie The Piano. The piece referenced is titled The Heart Asks The Pleasure First. I realize it is well outside of the timeline for The Outsiders, but the music still fits inside my story. I own neither The Outsiders nor any works by Mr. Nyman.


	17. Morning After

Chapter 17

Morning After

XXX

"Soda, what the hell are you doing out here?" Darry asked me as he came up the walkway. It was nearly six in the morning and I had been sitting out here on the porch for about five minutes now. Patty had dropped me off then went on to work not realizing I was stuck out here in the cold. Thankfully I had already showered and shaved at her place. I figured if worse came to worse, I would put on my spare uniform hanging in my locker back at the station once the rig came to pick me up.

"Freezing my ass off, that's what I'm doing out here. The damn door's locked and you have the key. The spare one ain't on the ledge like it's supposed to be."

"Why's the door locked? Ain't Pony still here?" Darry asked, pulling his keys from his pocket, rifling through them while he looked for the particular one we so seldom use.

"Gee...I dunno. Lets go find out!" I said, both annoyed and cold as I rubbed my arms to try to warm up. Darry finally found the key and opened the door. I looked around, no one on the couch. The house was quiet, no one in the shower either so he had no excuse for not hearing me banging on the front door over the sound of the water. I was getting madder thinking how my absentminded brother had just left me outside in the cold. Darry headed down to his own room to get his gear ready for work and I was close at his heals looking for someone younger than me to skin. I looked in my room expecting to find him asleep.... it's where he slept the other night when we got him home from the hospital. I had taken the couch and Ashley was still in the larger room. However, he wasn't there either. Where the heck was he?

Darry had his towel and a change of clothes in hand ready to take a shower but was stopped midway down the hall, staring in the room Ashley was using. He just stood there and stared! I really hoped he wasn't checking out our future sister -in- law but had to go see for myself. As I took a step in his direction, he put a finger to his lips as if to tell me to be quiet. I tiptoed to see what was going on, and got a shock I certainly wasn't expecting.

I had been out with Patty last night, and obviously Darry had spent the night with Shelly. One of us should have known better than to leave the last two virgins on the planet alone in an empty house. No wonder the door was locked.

There in our old bed was my little brother curled up fast asleep with his arm wrapped around an equally asleep Ashley, the two of them snuggled up against each other, her hand in his. From what I could tell, they were both dressed in night clothes and I doubted they had done anything. But still, I never expected to see _this_... and not from _Ponyboy_! I still pictured him as my innocent little brother, not a grown man! This really killed that image!

"Come on, let them sleep." Darry said, pulling me out of the way and softly closing the door.

"But....Darry...." I stuttered in a whisper.

"He's eighteen, she's eighteen, they're engaged and all I see is them sleeping. I was younger than he is.... and if I recall correctly... you were too when we did more than that. And we didn't intend to marry the girls either. Don't start an argument now that you know you wont win. I got to take a shower and get on to work. And no... they aren't a peep show so if the gang shows up, that door stays _closed_. You read me?"

"Yeah, I read you." I said.

Darry went on into the shower and I just stared in disbelief at the closed door a second longer, then went in to the kitchen to make breakfast. Just as I was finishing enough sausage omelets to feed a small army the front door opened and shut as Two-Bit came in and took off his coat.

"For your own good Two-Bit, I wouldn't be loud right now." I said quietly.

"Why, who's got the hangover? You keep partying over at Patty's?" He said while punching me in the shoulder.

I thought about my own party at Patty's last night and smiled. _Damn that was good_. Then I remembered where I was and shook my head. "No hangovers, but Pony and Ashley are still asleep."

He looked at his watch. "At this time of the morning?" He turned to go down the hall and I damn near dropped the skillet chasing after him.

"Hey... just this once, let it go. Trust me, man... Let. It. Go."

He looked at me and saw the closed door, realization that no one was in the other bedrooms came over him and a cheesy grin spread over his face.

"Your kidding me! Pony and Ashley? _Together!_ Naww.... _Really_? I _gotta_ see this!" His hand reached for the knob and I forcefully pushed him back down the hall.

"You ain't got to_ see _anything." I said flatly.

"Aww, Soda, come _on_ man!" His eyes were laughing hysterically. I was worried we were gonna be heard but I didn't need to worry too long. Darry came up behind him and picked him up... removing him to the kitchen for a fast word. I forgot just how strong he can be when he sets his mind to it.

"Now you listen to me." Darry said in a voice so soft yet menacing it was hard to believe it was real. "I realize you wanna do this to embarrass the shit out of Ponyboy, but you're forgetting that his fiancée is in there with him. And no... it looks like they didn't do anything but sleep. In the same bed perhaps, but that's all. While you can get away with embarrassing our brother, I simply refuse let you do anything to embarrass Ashley, so get it out of your head or leave my house. You got it?"

Boy howdy, all the fire was extinguished right out of ol' Two-Bit.

"Yeah, I got it." He said. He gave one last look at the closed door then pulled out a chair at the table. "Am I still welcome for breakfast or should I leave?"

"You're always welcome, Two-Bit. Just like every other day of your life." I said.

A door opened down the hall and Pony came out, rubbing his eyes and scratching his face. It's still weird for me to see him with a stubble on his chin and jaw line. He took a seat across from Two-Bit and stared at the table. At least that much hadn't changed... he never was one to wake up and get going... at least not here....how he did it in Montana with his early morning runs was a mystery to me. I poured him a glass of juice and sat it in front of him only for him to pick it up and chug it down. "Morning Pony." I said.

"Sleep well, kid?" Two-Bit just wouldn't leave it alone.

Pony looked up at Two-Bit and stared at him. I couldn't tell if he was trying to come up with a snappy retort or if he was still just trying to wake up.

"I slept fine, Two-Bit. Why?"

Nope, he wasn't fully awake yet. That voice was too realistically innocent.

Both Darry and I looked at Two-Bit, and even if I couldn't be convincing at telling him to shut the hell up, the look of murder on Darry was clear and easily understood. Seeing as how Darry was behind Pony and Pony didn't see Darry standing there glaring down, he was left out of the message.

"Just that I know you're probably still sore from the crash, is all."

_Good save, Two-Bit_. I thought.

"I'm as sore as ever, but I'll be fine. Thanks."

I put the omelets on plates and everyone grabbed a chair. Ashley came in just then, dressed in pants and a red blouse, hair up in a ponytail. Pony saw her and got up, giving her a small kiss as he gave up his seat at the table to her. "Morning Ash." He said softly.

"Morning Pony, everyone." She said with a happy voice. I myself _still _wasn't sure what happened here in the house last night between those two. I shook my head, giving it up. Like Darry said, they were both eighteen.

"What time is your train, Pone?" Darry asked.

"It leaves at four this afternoon. It's the last one out. Gonna take all night, should get back to Helena around seven tomorrow morning. Her dad will pick us up there and take us her parents place where her dad has my car."

"Geez, that's a long ride. You sure you don't wanna just fly back? I mean, what's the chances it will happen again?" Two-Bit said.

Everyone just looked at him as if he had won the _stupid_ award of the year.

"No, Two-Bit...I don't think I want to fly back. I already have our tickets for the train."

"Well, I have to go. I'll be back before two to get you both to the station. Sorry I can't take the whole day off, Pony."

"That's okay, Darry. You guys have already done more than expected from my impromptu visit."

"I gotta go get dressed." I said when I looked at the clock. Time was moving fast and I still hadn't gotten into my uniform. I pulled it on in a rush and saw something sticking out on the mirror. It was a check, from Pony to me for $400. _Happy Apartment Hunting _it said in the memo line. I was gonna take it back and tell him to keep his money, but I suddenly stopped and fingered the check again. A horn sounding from outside the house caught my attention.

"Soda! The rig's here!" Darry called to me. I quickly put the check in my shirt drawer and headed out.

"Pony, Ashley....I wont be back in time to see you off. I .. I wish I could though. You guys have a good trip back and call when you get home."

Ponyboy came and gave me a hug. "Thanks for saving my ass again, big brother." He said softly to me.

"What else are big brothers for other than getting their kid brother out of a jam?" I said back. The horn went off again outside and I let go, opening the front door to leave.

As we parted, I noticed his eyes weren't red this time. He was gonna be just fine. Somehow, I knew I would be too.

XXXX

_Tweeet, Tweeet Shhhuuuuuaaasssshhhhhh_

The sounds of the train station echoed around as Ashley and I, along with Darry and Steve waited on the platform. Steve showing up was a surprise for me. After all these years, I still hadn't figured him out.

"Well, Ponyboy, I sure hate to see you leaving. These vacations need to be longer if they're gonna be productive."

"Wasn't meant to be a vacation, Darry. Just a surprise visit for Soda's birthday."

"Well, whatever the case, next time lets plan this thing out so we can all spend time together without our work taking us in different directions."

"Sure thing, Darry. Hey, before I forget, I talked to Soda about what you asked me to do. I think he's okay with the idea. You sure you're gonna be okay with it?"

"TULSA , OKLAHOMA, TO HELENA, MONTANA,... ALL ABOARD!" The loudspeaker blared over head. Time was running short.

"I'll be fine, little brother. My house hasn't been empty since the day we all moved in. Don't you worry about it. Home is where everyone shows up. You should know that by now." He held out his hand to Ashley, hugging her then helping her on the train. Then he looked back at me. "Remember Ponyboy. I'm proud of you. Take care of yourself. Call when you get in... no matter the time."

I held out my hand but he slapped it away, pulling me into a tight hug instead. I hugged him back. I was gonna miss him.

Steve had been standing off to the side saying nothing, then came forward as I was about to follow Ashley.

"You wont mind if I read one of those books of yours, will ya, kid?" He asked. I was shocked he'd even remembered I wrote anything, let alone actually want to _read_ it.

"I'd be honored, Steve. Really." I said.

He held out his hand to me and I went to shake it. Instead of shaking it though, he pulled me in, locked my head in his arm and screwed up my hair. "Take care, kid." He said, letting me go. I smiled at him as I started to turn, then suddenly turned back and punched the shit out of his bicep. He wasn't expecting it and cursed me good while I hightailed it on the train. It started to roll on down the tracks so he couldn't do anything about it, and Darry was laughing too hard to speak.

"Next time! Ponyboy!" Steve yelled at me, smiling and rubbing his arm.

"You're on, Steve!" I yelled back at him as the train started to pick up speed. I watched as the platform got smaller and smaller then disappeared as we went around a corner, leaving Tulsa behind in the distance. The air was crisp and cold. Through the door I saw Ashley looking at me, and I finally went in to join her.

"Ready to go home?" She asked as she nuzzled up in my arms.

"I'm home where ever you are, my love."

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	18. Moving Day

Chapter 18

Moving Day

XXX

Pony left last week. He called the next morning to tell us he got back safely so we wouldn't worry ourselves into oblivion. I had to laugh when I thought about it. Funny how drama follows him around so much. I hoped that now that he was back in his house with his horses and land, things would settle down for him a bit. He told us the heat was working again at the college and he would be busy trying to finish the fall session with nothing less than a "B" average. I hoped he could do it.... I know he can. That kid brother of mine can do anything once he sets his mind to it.

"Hey!" Steve called down at me as we tinkered with the Oldsmobile sitting in the yard. "Watch it, Soda! You're gonna get oil all over you. Where's your head at, man? You've been spacing out all week."

Even though neither of us worked at the station anymore, many of our "regular" customers now brought their business to us at home. It wasn't like they didn't know where I lived, most of them were old classmates of either Darry's or Steve's. Some of them even I went to school with, way back when. Simple stuff like oil changes and very minor work we could do at the house and make a few bucks off of on the side. Darry didn't care as long as we could get it done in a day and didn't leave a mess behind. Today was Saturday and I was off, as was Steve. We had nothing better to do than work on our neighbor Max's beat up Oldsmobile anyway, but try as I might, my mind kept straying onto other things.

"Sorry, Steve." I said trying to refocus.

"It ain't no skin off my nose, but I doubt Patty wants to be slip- sliding around in engine oil later!" He looked at me as I lay under the car, just staring up at the engine. "Okay, I know that look. What's wrong with the kid now? I thought he got back safe and sound."

"He did. That's not what's on my mind." I said as I tightened up the new filter and came out from under the car. I grabbed a rag and wiped off my hands. "It was something he said before he left that's had me all tied up."

"Well, what'd he say?" Steve asked after I still didn't open up.

I looked at the house then over at the front yard. Darry still wasn't back yet from shopping. Now that all the moochers had come and gone, we needed to get more food. My party on top of the weekly intake of goods sort of wiped out the supplies.

"Soda?" He said, still waiting for an answer.

"He said I needed to start looking for my own place."

"That little shit has nerve. He don't even live here! Who's he to...."

"....He's right, Steve." I said, cutting him off. Steve just looked at me, confused and wide eyed. "It's time I looked for my own place. It ain't right that Darry feels like he still has to support me when my paycheck almost matches his. Plus I've got plenty saved up. I just don't know where to start."

Steve just looked at me, slowly wiping his hands on a rag of his own. He took a swig of his Pepsi and cleared his throat. "There are some good places out where I'm at, over by the strip."

"No offense, man, but we get called out there a dozen times a day for shootings. That ain't exactly where I want to hang at, if you dig at all."

"Yeah, well, if you duck you'll do okay!" Steve said laughing. "Where do you want to go?"

"I dunno." I looked at the car wishing it had the answers.

"Well, lets finish Max's Old's here and we'll go drive around, see what we can see. Wasn't Darry working on some new units out by the overpass? They look upscale by greaser standards."

"Yeah, right.... like I need to live in Soc territory!"

"It ain't exactly Soc territory. Hell, I might get out of the rat hole I'm in and go there too. Whaddya think? Then we can be neighbors."

"And kill all the neighboring property values in the process. Sure. Let me get cleaned up while you refill the oil." I headed toward the house while he got the oil bottles. Maybe...just _maybe_ this might work.

XXX

"The units all have full kitchens, washer and dryer hook-ups as well as wall- to- wall carpeting. However, no pets allowed. We have several one bedroom and a few two bedroom units still available. Let me know if you have any questions, gentlemen." The lady showing us the place finally left us alone to explore and talk.

"It ain't that far from the overpass, it'll be an easier ride to work for you." Steve said. "Plus, Darry did the roofing, so you know it won't leak."

The irony of it being the same place Darry just finished roofing wasn't lost on me, I was just too out of it to give it proper notice. "I'll have to get some wheels. It's out of my jurisdiction, they won't be able to pick me up in the mornings."

"Soda, dude, you're gonna need wheels anyway, unless you plan to walk everywhere and carry everything back with you in your arms. Or you can be like one of those old ladies pushing a cart around!"

"Yeah, I forgot about that. Know anyone wanting to sell their wheels?"

"I'll ask around. What do you think?" Steve said, leaning on the empty countertop.

"I think I'm tired. This is the sixth place we've been at today." I was getting frustrated. How could four walls and a roof be this complicated?

"But it's better than the others we've seen. Plus it has a pool. And it's less expensive than that flea infested trap out by the strip we saw earlier." Steve sounded optimistic.

"Fine, tell ya what. _You_ move here and I'll come stay with you!"

"Hell no. But, I think I just might swap locations. I'm serious when I said I'd move. The place I'm at now is about to cave in. This really looks good, and it ain't much more than what I'm already paying that old battle- ax of a landlady."

I looked at him.

"Soda, trust me dude. This is gonna be _great_. You think about it, but I'm gonna go get an application."

"You _are_ serious!" I squeaked as he went outside to the lady. He turned around and smiled. I looked around again and followed him back outside.

The woman looked at me, waiting.

"I'd like an application too." I said finally.

We followed her back to the office and waited while she got the forms for us. I couldn't help but wonder what I was getting myself into, or how Darry was gonna take it.

XXX

Soda hadn't said anything all afternoon, and for him that was disturbing. He even cooked a normal meal. Obviously something was wrong. I had waited for him to tell me, but so far it was a stalemate. I was gonna have to go fishing to see what I could get.

"Have any problems with Max's car?"

"Nah. Simple oil change I could do in my sleep."

He didn't even look up. Hmmm. Time to go for something bigger.

"Patty okay?"

"Yup. She's just great. I plan to go over later if that's okay."

"Fine with me. You gonna be gone all night again?"

He glanced my way again before returning his gaze to the untouched string beans on his plate.

"Probably."

"Well, be....."

"....careful, yes I know. I _am _being careful, Darry. I got the market cornered on _careful!"_

"Don't get grumpy with me, Soda. You've been brooding all day. Spill it. Whats up?"

He looked at me and sighed. Lordy did that sigh sound loaded.

"Steve and I went looking for apartments. He's wanting to upgrade from his present dumpy location. We found some out by the overpass... the ones you were roofing last month, oddly enough. They look decently nice. Rent's affordable, too. Only $50 a month for a one-bedroom one bath unfurnished unit. He's already got the application filled out and turned in."

"Good for him. He's due for an upgrade from that shack he was living in. That's all that's bugging you? That Steve's moving up?" I was doing everything I could to prod him along. I wanted _him_ to tell _me_, not _me _have to tell_ him._

"No... not really. I ….. I got an application for a unit too. They had some two bedroom one bath rentals available for $60. It's time...... I mean I think....."

"I know the manager," I said smiling inside. "I can get your rent pushed back to $50 each month. I'll call him in the morning." I looked at him and he looked back at me, shocked. "If that's what you want to do, move out and all."

"I can stay if you need me to, Darry. Help out with the bills and all." I couldn't tell if he was pleading his case to stay or explaining why he should go. I think maybe it was a little bit of both.

"Soda, ohhhh, little brother. You've grown up so fast! Just yesterday you were dropping out of high school to take a job as a mechanic and now look at you. All grown up with your GED and EMT certification. Making more money than dad ever did." I laughed as I teased him.

He scowled at me as he got up from the table, scraping his plate in the trash and filling the sink to wash the dishes.

"Soda." I called to him over the sound of the water. He shut the water off but didn't come back. This time I was serious, I could tell he needed me to be. "You are _ready,_little buddy, to be on your own. I wouldn't let you do this if I thought you weren't. I'll always be here to help you if you need it. This is always gonna be your home, no matter where you go. Where ever I live, there will always be room for you. Same goes for Ponyboy. I already told him the same thing."

"Was this your idea or Ponyboy's that it was time for me to move out?" Soda came and stood in the doorway, looking at me as I still sat at the table even though I had already lost my appetite.

"It was mine. I asked him to gently nudge you in that direction when he was here. Don't be angry at him, this was my idea. He wasn't too keen on it at first, but as I explained why, he eventually agreed with me. You're ready, Soda. I wouldn't purposefully let you do something I know you will fail at. You should know me better than that by now.

"You really think I'm ready?" He asked as if his final decision hinged on my next words.

"I know so, Pepsi. You're gonna do fine."

XXX

Both Steve and Soda moved the next weekend. I gave him the bed and dresser from the smaller bedroom that he had been using since he returned from Nam. Neither he nor I wanted the furniture from the other bedroom taken. It's complicated, but that stuff just belongs there, and even I couldn't bear to see it set up anywhere else. Strange.

He used the money Ponyboy gave him for the down payment and first months rent, not to mention having all the utilities turned on. I made a mental note to call my youngest brother and remind him what the definition of_ subtle_ is. With what was left of Pony's money and some other cash Soda had saved up, he found a car being sold cheap that had hardly been driven. I wanted to tell him he was gonna be sitting on the floor if he didn't get some chairs to park his rear in. But then I stepped back, realizing this was a learning experience, and with Soda... a few days and nights going without will teach him far more than my lectures ever will about what he really needs versus what he wants. As it was, he was doing pretty good. Besides, he was going to need a car soon anyway.

Steve also was in the same boat, but this being Steve, he wasn't gonna complain. I bought each of them a set of cookware for housewarming gifts... hoping they'd get the hint that my place was not an all night diner anymore. Whatever. I knew they'd show up, some things never change.

Two-Bit of course brought over a six pack of beer for each of them... glad to see he actually was stocking someone else's place for a change. He also got them each some towels and a phone. His gifts were to say the least... good ones...but unusual. Ahh, Two-Bit.

Soda handed me a key, and at first I wasn't going to take it but he convinced me.

"You've never locked me out of your house, and gave shelter to anyone who ever needed a place to stay without question. Take the key, Darry." I looked at his face, then pocketed the key. Some lessons in life stay with you.

The move was over in a day. The transition, however took weeks. They came by every day... and don't think I didn't notice several glasses from the cabinet along with a few of my sharpest knives disappearing all of a sudden. I pretended not to notice. It would probably have been the same thing I would have done to mom and dad had they lived long enough to see this. I knew where my stuff...umm, _our_ stuff had gone. Right up the road about 15 minutes away.

XXX

_Dear Ponyboy, _

_Well, I got a place of my own. It's down by Halstead Avenue, off the overpass. It's a two bedroom apartment which I got in case one of the guys came over. So far, due to lack of furniture...it's only been me at night. It's weird, even though it's my apartment and all, it just don't feel like I belong...like it's not home. Not yet. I tried to tell this to Darry, but he just looked at me as if I was off my rocker. He said to talk to you, that you'd understand. Maybe you might._

_Well, now I understand why you aint got no furniture. That stuff's expensive! I didn't realize just a set of mattresses cost so much...then you have to get the frame and headboard and footboard too! And that's just for a bed! I aint gonna fuss at you no more for not having your place all set up. I managed to get a set of queen sized mattresses from a discount store but like your bed, it's flat on the floor. I use a card table and some fold up chairs as a dining room set. It aint much to look at, but it works for now. One paycheck at a time I'll get things in better shape. No, don't go sending me any cash either...I can do this on my own._

_Steve got an apartment like mine in the same building...we both moved in the same day. His is only a one bedroom unit, so I guess everyone can hang here in mine if need be. Both Darry and Two-Bit helped us move in, rather...Darry, Steve and me helped while Two-Bit supervised. We were sweating bullets while Two-Bit hadn't even rumpled his shirt. That is until Darry gave him the heavier end of my old dresser from my old room at Darry's house. That feels weird too, calling it Darry's house and not our house anymore. Darry got me a discount for my rent.... down to $50 a month like Steve's instead of the $60 for my larger place. Cool huh? _

_Well, I guess you're busy with school and ilus...illis....drawing those books. I'm real proud of you. It's tuff to go into the bookstore now looking for the book you wrote and the other books you ilis.. .illast... drew. Andy hasn't eaten your name off the new ones Patty and I bought him ...I hope that means he's done teething for now. _

_Well, little bro, I better get going. Darry, Steve Patty and Andy are coming over for dinner, so I guess I got to cook. Two-Bit's off with some family issue of his own. I ain't got much to eat...hope they don't mind home made hamburgers. I miss ya._

_Sodapop_

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	19. Letters

Letters

Chapter 19

XXX

_Oct 27_

_Dear Soda,_

_Yeah, furniture gets to be rather expensive. Ash and I went out and found some nice bedroom sets for the guest rooms at a furniture store over in Hawksville, about twenty miles north of here. Found a tuff couch too. I think Darry would approve- ha!_

_She found some bridal shop in the area and I dropped her off... she didn't want me anywhere near that place and I couldn't agree more. I swear this whole wedding thing is getting expensive. Dr. Benning has been footing the bill, but she's been telling me how much "this" is and what "that" costs every step of the way. I didn't think the treasury printed that much dough!_

_Anyway, while she was off finding new ways to rack up the wedding bills, I went back to the furniture store. I finally found the master bedroom suite that I have been looking for. Once I saw it, I just knew. It's a solid oak sleigh style bed... with horse shoe imprints burned into each side of the headboard and footboard. Between the horseshoes are fall leaf engravings subtly carved into the wood. In the center of the headboard is another engraving, of a rising sun. I bought the bed, matching nightstands and the dresser. The manager gave me a discount since I had also bought the other stuff. Don't ask what the bill was... it's sickening for me to even think about it. But even I couldn't let that furniture get away. Besides, I'm tired of sleeping on the floor._

_As far as being in a new place, not being used to it... yeah. I understand. It took me a long time to get used to the apartment I had from Mr. Roberts. My thoughts wouldn't let me sleep, and all I wanted was to be back at Darry's. It was rough, but it got better a little at a time. Once you start making that apartment yours, you'll feel it less. At least you have Steve nearby... even I missed him when I was new here. I missed everyone. You and Darry the most._

_Ugghh, getting sappy, so I'm gonna close for now. Tell everyone I said hi, and Happy Halloween. Don't let Two-Bit steal any candy!_

_Your brother,_

_Ponyboy_

XXX

November 5

Dear Ponyboy,

Soda showed me the letter you sent him. I hope you're being smart about the money, little man. I know you have some great jobs, but don't go blowing the money all at once. Be smarter than that. I think you understand.

And you better be taking are of yourself. I know you have a tendency to ignore medical advice, so listen to me, Pony. You're not superman, so don't overdo it. It's been nearly a month since you were in the hospital. I hope you have learned when you need to sit down and take it easy by now. Tending that horse ranch takes a lot of hard work, I hope you ain't killing yourself up there all alone.

I wish I could say something about your time alone in that apartment. It really rips me to know how alone you were there. I know nothing can change the past, but I wish I could have made it easier for you somehow. If you ever get to feeling alone, you know to call.

As far as Soda goes, he's doing better now. He bought a bed frame so at least he's not laying on the floor anymore. I think it will take time for him to get everything worked out, but he's always been the one to learn by experience. Don't worry, I wont let him screw up too bad. I did have to stop him from hauling my kitchen out of the house one piece at a time. It's sad when I have to go to his place to get a spatula to cook with. He's doing fine, Pony. Really, he is.

He bought a Chevy Impala from someone Steve knows, and the two of them have it at my house fixing it up every chance they get. You know them, they have to be covered in grease or they just wont feel human.

I wish I could say we were coming for Thanksgiving, but I can go ahead and break it now... I cant. I doubt Soda will be able to either. Neither of us have the time off or the extra cash laying around for the trip.

Shelly quit the airlines as far as being a stewardess. Now she's working at the ticket counter, but I don't see that lasting long. She hates the job. The airline offered her any position she wanted that she could do in the aftermath of the crash. She also told me what you did, how you ran back to save that family. It worries me what you do, how you ignore the danger... but it also makes me proud to be your brother, to know you care so much for others. Especially kids. I see so much of mom in you that way.

Well, best close for now. Two-Bit's coming up the walk.

Darry

XXX

_Nov 20_

_Hey Kid_

_Hope you're doing good up there. We miss ya. Happy Thanksgiving. Good luck in school and all._

_Steve_

XXXX

Nov 21

Well Ponyboy! Another Thanksgiving leaving us here to eat all this turkey your brothers made! Sure wish you and your lady could come and enjoy it too. Or at least have her cook the bird for a change. None of us can ever get it right.

You should see the car Soda bought. A sweet Impala that he and Steve are souping up. Got it cheap from some friend of Steve's looking to off load it. Might ask Steve if his friend has any other cars he wants to get rid of. My boss is getting tired of me using the company truck on the off hours. Busted, man, busted!

Well, better get this mailed to you. I know I'm the funny man of the group, but I'm serious when I say we miss ya. Have a good Thanksgiving kid.

Two-Bit

XXX

_November 29_

_Hey Darry and Soda_

_I wished I could have come home for Thanksgiving too, but no way was I gonna get on another plane. The round trip on the train would have taken the whole holiday too, so that was out of the question. Even though I wasn't with you guys...I spent the whole time thinking about you...before and after I called that day. Sounded like you were all having a good time. I could hear the piano being beat on in the background.... I hope whoever is using it is at least taking care of it. Mom would be pissed if it got damaged._

_Ashley's parents put on another major food spread for Thanksgiving and I am sure the Christmas feast will be similar. I have been trying not to think about it too much, the term is almost over and if I can pull another "A" out, I will have honors for the term. That wasn't easy, either. Keep your fingers crossed for me._

_I have to get the vet out to see the horses soon. I was going to wait until later when spring is closer, but Hera just isn't acting right. Course, I've only had horses since I bought the ranch. Will let you know how that goes._

_Let me know what your Christmas plans are, I might be able to work something out as far as coming down._

_Tell everyone I said hello. I miss you guys._

_Ponyboy_

_XXX_

XXX

"Hold on!" Man! Who ever was banging on my door had better be important. I opened it up to see Patty, tears on her cheeks and eyes puffy. A sleepy Andy still in his pajama's with Patty's coat haphazardly thrown over his shoulders standing at her side, holding his bear. Tired kid looked like the leaning tower of Pisa as I reached down and scooped him up. He curled onto my shoulder and went back to sleep in an instant.

"Patty....what happened? Get in here before you freeze." I pulled her in by the hand and shut the door, locking it behind her. I took Andy to the bedroom that had my old bed in it and lay him down, he curled up in a ball as I took his mothers coat off him. I tucked him in and closed the door.

Patty hadn't moved, except for covering her face with her hands.

"What happened? Tell me." I said, holding her to me. She put her arms around me and I could feel her still shivering.

"Mom threw me out. We got into an argument about money...said I wasn't paying her enough to watch Andy, that she could make more at her job if not for having to watch him. I don't know what she's talking about... I pay the utilities and buy all the grocery, all she pays is the mortgage and her car expenses. And I gave her plenty of money to watch Andy on the side! I know I'm too old to be staying at her place... but I don't know what else to do! As soon as every apartment manager sees me with him, my applications get 'lost' or denied or some other bull shit! They think I'm some whore with a kid, gonna ruin the neighborhood. All I want is a chance! Damn it!"

She dropped her purse and collapsed on the cheap couch I managed to find.

I sat down next to her and held her. The same thought ran through my head over and over again, but I didn't want to let it out because the solution made too much sense. "Stay here... with me." I finally said.

"I was hoping you'd let us stay tonight. I'll figure this out in the morning. Maybe mom will have changed her mind....."

"No, Patty. _Stay_ here. _Move in_ with me. I have the space. Ain't got much furniture, but that will get better with time. I love you, you and Andy both. Let your mother have her place back. As far as finding a sitter for Andy, well, I think Two-Bit is off tomorrow, I'll call him in a few minutes and have him watch Andy tomorrow at Darry's. I could use your help with the bills around here if you're willing to share the expenses. It's a whole lot less than a house costs, and sure beats paying it all on your own. Whaddya say?"

She looked at me with tear stained cheeks, but none were fresh. I could see she liked my idea.

"I'll....I'll have to think about it, Soda. I got Andy because I made mistakes in the past. I don't want to repeat them. That doesn't mean I don't love him....or you though." She quickly added.

"Have you had dinner yet?"

"No. Things were getting bad at mom's when dinner was being started. I bought him some take out though on the way over. I'm not all that hungry."

I looked at the clock. It was nearly ten at night. I knew they ate around six.

"What have you been doing all this time?" I looked at her.

"Driving around, Soda.... just driving around looking for an answer."

I pulled her to me. "You found your answer, honey. Right here."

She lay her head on my shoulder and I felt her relax. She had been through so much...In all the time I had known her, she had never been the type to let her emotions get to her. I guess she found her breaking point though. I didn't give much thought to what it was like being an unwed teenage mother like she had been when Andy was born. I realized then how strong she had to be to withstand all the hate and ridicule she went through. I looked at her, all I saw was a beautiful strong, smart woman with an equally wonderful child. They both deserved a chance, especially when she was working so hard in school to have that chance. No one should take that away.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	20. Christmas Visit

Reminder...I retouched chapters 15 and 16... and edited some from 19 too. This story isn't as easy as Splintered Ties That Bind, and I just really hope you readers like it. I would quit, but want to get this to the conclusion I had set out for it. My apologies if it doesn't hold to the same standard as Splintered, but like I have said, lightening wont strike me twice with that fortune. I am trying though, I really am.

My thanks to those who haven't given up on me. You don't know how much that means.

Calla Lilly Rose

**Chapter 20**

Christmas Visit

"You let Patty move in with you? Are you nuts? What the hell were you thinking?" He looked at me, a strange combination of anger, confusion and disbelief reflecting in his eyes.

"Patty showed up on my doorstep at ten at night with Andy, upset and no where to go. What was I _supposed _to do, send her away? I love her, Darry. She just needs a place to stay. She hasn't said 'yes' to staying any longer than Christmas anyway, just so Andy can have somewhere safe and reliable to be through the holiday. I thought you of all people would understand that. You never turned anyone away."

She had been at my place for two days now, and still hadn't decided if she wanted to make this permanent. She had classes all day today and work tonight, so Andy was hanging out with me at Darry's.

"Where are you taking this relationship, Soda? _Where?_ You two just gonna be live-in lovers or something?" He asked me point blank as he wiped the sweat off his forehead while leaning on the old fridge after pulling it out of it's spot. "I may not have a say in what you do anymore, but you're old enough to know better than this."

"No, Darry! I'm not...." I started angrily at first, then realized what I had been feeling for a while now. He looked at me, the sheen of sweat still on him as he waited for me to finish. "I'm not wanting to be just lovers. I want to marry her." There, I said it. I looked at Darry then looked down to where Andy was playing with the toy cars I bought him for his birthday last month.

Darry shifted in his stance but didn't move. "Have you asked her yet?" He quietly asked me. I looked at him. He didn't seem angry or shocked. Almost like he was _expecting_ it.

"No." I said. "Ohh... I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. How did Pony figure this out?" I wondered aloud as I pulled out a chair to sit on and pressed my face into my hands.

Darry sat down next to me at the table. "Now,_ that's_ a stupid question, Soda. He's a romantic... and romantic's just _know_." He grabbed a drink from the now pulled -out fridge and took a sip, then continued. "Have you asked her parents yet?"

I looked at him and shook my head in awe. "Darry, her dad split long ago and her mom just threw her and her son out of the house in the middle of the night. Do you really _think_ her mom gives two shits about either of them?"

"I see your point." He paused for a long time, thinking this over. "Well, you're gonna need a ring and then you'll just have to _ask_ her. After that, it's her decision. One you will have to accept, whatever that decision is. Think you're ready for that?" He said looking at me with a hidden message peaking out from behind his eyes.

"Spit it out, Darry. What are you trying to say?"

He took another sip then looked at the bottle. "Only that your last broken heart didn't mend so well. I ain't saying she'll say yes or no... just... are you prepared for the answer, whatever it may be?"

I sighed. "Yeah.." Andy came up to me then, holding out his toy car for me to take. I picked him up and held him in my lap. "I'm ready." I said smiling at him.

XXX

"Ashley, really! I'm gonna be fine The train leaves in an hour so we need to get going if I'm going to make it there on time. I'll get back in Tulsa around nine in the morning."

"And they know you're coming?" She asked for the forth time today and what had to be the tenth time this week. She was absolutely scared to death something was going to happen to me, but I wasn't worried. I loved train rides...especially over the prairie, when I could see nature in the wild and get ideas for my work.

I had been picked up by another publishing company for my artwork and another author had added me as his primary illustrator, so now I had projects coming at me from everywhere. I was glad the school term had ended so I could get caught up on all my work, which was now going to sit for a few days. I was determined to get home in time for Christmas with my brothers.

"Yes, they know I'm coming. Call them if it will make you feel better." I looked at her, she shook her head and smiled finally.

"No, I trust you. Tell everyone there hello for me."

"I will." I kissed her as I handed her the key to the house then headed for the car. Hera and Zeus looked out at us from the stables where they had free roam. Hera had a surprise, one that I wasn't ready for. I hadn't told Ashley yet that she was due to foal in August. This was gonna be an action packed summer, that's for sure.

An hour later I was on the train, headed back down the tracks toward Oklahoma.

XXX

"There he is! Hey! Pony! Over here!" I looked up and sawTwo-Bit and Steve waving at me as I made my way up the platform. I was surprised, thinking Darry would be picking me up, guess something happened at the last minute.

"Hey Two-Bit, Steve! This is a surprise. How ya been?"

"Good, man. How was the ride?" I asked as we headed back out to the parking lot.

"Great. It's one hell of a long ride, but I prefer the train to a plane any day. How's the airport, Steve?"

"Flighty, Pone." He said, smiling.

"How much longer you got in that class before you take that exam?" I asked him. I couldn't remember if it was a six month program or a year.

"Another four months, but I'm gonna try to sit in on it early. I already do the work on the birds without the supervisor breathing down my neck."

"Good luck." I said, loading my bag into the car. Then I stepped back, getting a closer look at the _whole_ car. "Two-Bit.... who's car is this? Isn't this the new Firebird that came out?" This was a tuff ride if I ever saw one.

"Mine, kid. All mine." He said, grinning from ear to ear.

"You steal the money or the car?" I asked, disbelief on my face.

"Neither, just convinced the guy trying to mess with my sister that it wasn't worth his life to pursue that particular interest. He was very apologetic, signed over the title to me and scooted on out of town. It's my ride, free and clear!"

"Your sis okay?" I looked at him sharply, remembered his younger sister. Light brown hair and chestnut colored eyes. She rarely came over to the house when I was a kid, her mother just never felt it right to let her that far out of the house in our neighborhood. Knowing what I do now...that was probably a wise decision.

"She's fine. I caught the prick before he messed with her beyond frenching. I could tell he was intending more, pulling her clothes off while she put up a good fight. Steve and me took care of him, right buddy?"

"Damn straight. That's one old hood who won't father any kids. That's for damn sure."

"And he just signed over his wheels to you like that?" Even I was surprised. I'd heard of guys being beat within an inch of their lives for messing with certain sisters of certain guys in the East side, but _never_ one handing over title to his car...especially a ride like this!

"He was a married businessman who thought my sis was a hooker. He could afford to lose the car, but not the wife in a divorce. We made it clear who would be told if he ever stepped back on our turf." Steve explained.

"Well, Two-Bit... even you can still manage to get something for nothing." I said, sitting back in the seat.

XXX

I had dinner going and the place as clean as I could get it before Darry came back from work. I noticed the new fridge. Guess the last one finally gave up the last bit of life that even Darry and Soda could squeeze from it.

"Hey Pony! How was the trip. Sorry I couldn't be at the station to get you."

"That's alright, Darry, I know you're busy with work and all. How are ya?"

"Good. Made 'Foreman' a few weeks ago. Less physical work but more papers to push. Longer hours too until I get the hang of it. How's Ashley?"

"She's doing fine. All wrapped up in school work and wedding plans." I shook my head.

"Something smells great!" The door opened and Soda came in, stomping off his boots and taking off his coat. He tossed it on the couch and missed. I looked at it an stifled a laugh. Almost a decade and he still couldn't get the coat to land on the couch. "Hey, Pony! How was the ride down?"

"Fine, Soda. Long but fine. How's work?"

He grabbed a drink and popped the lid. "Bloody. Gang shootings... I don't remember heaters being used so much when we were younger."

That took me right back to Dally. It stopped me a second, then I blinked and carried on. I got plates and silverware from the drawer and set the table. The pot roast was small, I guess now that we were both on our own, he could shop for smaller cuts of meat. He deserved that break.

"So how did you do in your class? Make honors?" Darry asked me.

I shook my head. "No. I missed it by three points." Darry looked disappointed. "I did the best I could. I may not have honors but I'm still up there in my GPA. Besides, I picked up a new author to draw for and got other work too. I'm about as busy as I can be. There's other things besides grades, Darry." I said, hoping he'd understand.

"We know you did your best. So how long before the next term starts?" Soda asked.

"January third. My last quarter and I'll be finished."

"Ready to graduate, huh? Darry said, pride shining from him.

"Yes! I am _so _ready for it to be over with, too. Ashley has even more work, once she gets her associates degree she's transferring to the University for her bachelors in teaching. Her credits are all going with her, so she'll thankfully start at the Junior level."

"Our first college graduate of the family. You've accomplished a lot, Pone. I'm proud of you. Mom and dad would be proud too." Darry said.

"They would be, Pony. Darry and I... we're real proud of everything you've done." Soda said.

I had to have turned a few shades of red.

"Check that out, Dar. We can still embarrass him. Haven't lost our touch, huh?"

"Aww, stop it!" I said. I looked around the room. "You planning on getting a tree this year or is this it?" I asked looking at Darry.

"We can, if you want to. Most of the ornaments are busted though. Doubt the lights work either. I haven't really been doing the Christmas thing since Soda...well, since then."

"Well, I guess we'll have to go shopping."

"I need your help, Pony...shopping that is." Soda said, suddenly finding the carrots on his plate interesting.

"Sure, Soda. What ya want to go shopping for?"

"A ring." He looked at me. "I'm gonna ask Patty to marry me. I've been looking at rings all week, and I have no clue what I'm even looking for."

I smiled, finally he accepted the fate I saw two months ago. "Have you asked her?"

"No. I want to on Christmas. I get so nervous every time I think of it that I sweat something fierce. How_...how_ did you do this?"

I thought about it. I cant explain how I did what came so natural to me. It's like explaining how you breathe. The explanation is too long to go into something that comes so naturally. "I just did, Soda. And you will too. We'll go shopping in the morning, if you're off from work. Does she know about this?" I asked.

"Not a clue. She moved in at the beginning of the month when her mom threw her out. She said she was only staying until January. She was burned bad by Andy's father and isn't looking for a repeat performance from me. I, however, have no intention of doing that."

"What about Andy?" I asked. Darry looked at Soda for this answer too, obviously he hadn't asked this question before either.

"I already asked a lawyer. Once we get married, I can petition to adopt him."

Even Darry put his fork down for that statement.

Soda? A father? Wow.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose

PS...Thanks to Madamadadanechibisuke for catching a point of view error I did not see in my multiple edits. Error fixed. Thanks!


	21. Shopping

Chapter 21

Shopping

Christmas is a time for family, friends, food and fun. Lights and decorations. A time to forget about all that's wrong in the world and focus on what's right in it. For the last few years, my Christmases have been spent away from all that, thinking I had none of it to return to. I'm so glad I was wrong. I thought all this as I walked next to Soda as we entered our third jewelry store of the day.

Darry had to work but was gonna try to knock off early. Now that he was foreman, he had to get all the stuff ready for the workers, and he preferred to do this now rather than return early after Christmas. That's so typical of my oldest brother.... always wanting everything planned out ahead of time.

I watched as Soda once again went to the low end rings...the ones with the diamonds in them so tiny you need a magnifying glass to see them. I smiled as I shook my head. This was gonna go on all day unless I stepped in.

"Can you give us a minute, sir?" I asked the salesman. He nodded and went to the desk.

"Soda, get over here," he looked as perplexed as he could be. "Look, stop this being cheap nonsense. Get the woman a ring! One worth having. Look at these here..." I pointed in the case I was sitting by, there had to be a dozen nice solitaires in there of every cut and style of the type I myself remembered looking at not so long ago. It's a hard decision....I knew that all too well, but he was limiting himself by looking at the rings I knew no woman would honestly like. At least not one worth marrying.

"Pony," he hissed at me in a frustrated tone, "I can't afford these rings. Not on my pay. And I ain't letting you buy it either, so get that look off your face."

"Soda, you wanted my advice and help, don't shoot me for doing what you asked. Park it, big brother, and just_ look_ at them." I pointed at a chair next to me, and he sat down. His head just kept shaking as he went over the rings in the case. "Stop looking at the tags...look for a _ring_. Worry about the tag after you find the ring. You get up from here and you'll regret it. I may always be younger, but I ain't all that much smaller than you anymore. I'll be right back."

He looked at me as I got up but thankfully he didn't move from the chair.

"Excuse me, sir." The salesman smiled at me as he came over to where I was. "My brother is looking for a nice solitaire. I was wondering if perhaps you had any in the back that were more reasonable than those in the case, but just as nice? "

He looked at me then at Soda and smiled. "Let me go see what I might have." I thought so.

"What was that about? I told you I wanted to pay for it, Ponyboy. I ain't entirely a charity case ya know."

He was annoyed but not angry. "Good, cause I have enough to pay for back home. This is on you, big brother. But I've been around this block before, and for once... you are gonna have to trust me."

The salesman came over with a small tray of rings that he put in front of us. The rings were just as nice but the stones not as flawless. However, unless you were a jeweler, you'd never be able to tell. One look at Soda's face and I could tell this had hope.

"I'm gonna go look at something else...all this diamond gazing is giving me flashbacks." He never even looked up at me as I went to the earring case. I still had to get Ashley a gift, even though I wouldn't be there on Christmas to give it to her.

"Hey, Pone...come look at this one," Soda called over to me later.

I didn't need to see the ring, the look on his face said it for me. Still, I gave the ring it's due look. "Nice one, Soda. What do you think?" Stupid question. I could tell what he thought.

He handed it to the salesman with a simple nod and a smile. He rang us up...Soda for the ring and me for some earrings for Ash, and we headed out the door.

Next stop was the mall. We split up and spent an hour or so in there, shopping for each other. I found Darry some new work boots... I had noticed his had lost most of the tread and were very worn. I found Soda a nice jean jacket, remembering the days when at times that was all we had. I bought myself one too. I always liked the feel of my old one, which I lost a long time ago. After a few dozen washes, this one would soften up and be ready to wear.

"Ready?" Soda asked me when we met at the food court. He was as loaded down with bags as I was.

"Yep," I said, getting up.

XXX

That night, four boxes were wrapped and placed under some tree Darry managed to get. Darry hadn't done his shopping yet, always waiting until the last minute to get the best price. We decorated it together with a new strand of twinkle lights and what was salvageable from our parents whithered remains of decorations.

"Ponyboy," Darry quietly said to me as we three sat back on the couch looking at the lit up tree, glowing against the darkness of the house.

"Yeah, Darry?" I turned my head and looked at him.

"When this Christmas is over, I want you to take the ornaments that you want to keep with you back to Montana."

I stared at him. "But these are _family_ ornaments, Darry...."

"Yep, they are. We'll always be family, but next Christmas you will have a wife of your own. And by rights, you should have Christmas with her. Splitting up the ornaments isn't splitting us up. Besides...these poor things just may not make it another year here!" He said while fingering this years fallen relics left behind in the box on his lap.

"Ain't that the truth," Soda quipped from my other side. "That poor reindeer's had that leg glued back on him more times than I can count."

I knew the ornament he meant....and he was right. That leg was so mangled it needed to be amputated permanently. Why did it need all it's legs anyway? Aren't the reindeer supposed to fly?

"I dunno, Darry. That just don't feel right," I said glumly.

"It's right, Ponyboy. It's right," he said.

We sat there in silence for another hour, just the three of us. It hit me then that times were changing, that this was going to be my last Christmas where it was just _us._ Next year, I would have my wife, Soda might be married and who knew what Darry would be doing. Andy was in the picture. Shelly wasn't far in the distance either. I began to wonder which of us would produce another full blooded Curtis. Not that I was wanting to compete...but I wasn't stupid about life and what had a chance of happening. My chin started to quiver as I thought about all the things that were barreling us forward at speeds I couldn't keep up with in my head. I sniffed, drawing the attention of both my brothers as they sat on either side of me.

"It's alright, Ponyboy. They're just ornaments. You don't have to take them if you don't want to." Darry said, patting my knee.

Soda, however, looked me in the eyes and I could tell, he understood. He always could read me like a book.

"This ain't the end, Pone. It's the beginning. And we'll be together for all of it. You'll see. This time," Soda reiterated my words from earlier, making me smile again, " you got to trust _me_." He put his arm around me and patted my shoulder. I quit my quivering cry. Time moves on, one day at a time.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	22. Candlelight Proposal

Chapter 22

Candlelight Proposal

XXX

"Hey Andy...come here, buddy, I need to have a talk with you."

Patty was at work still and I had picked up Andy from Darry's place where Ponyboy had been the designated sitter for the day. I had to work too, ambulances and hospitals don't shut down for the holidays. "Me and Andy need to have a heart to heart, we'll be back later. Thanks for watching him, Ponyboy."

"No sweat, Soda. He ate his sandwich and just about drank all the milk in the fridge, so he can't be hungry."

I just grinned, Pony wasn't used to Andy yet...this kid could eat you out of house and home and _still_ say he was hungry.

I took Andy to a park and sat him down. His little eyes just looked at me, a playful smile on his face.

"Andy, do you like me?"

"Yep," he answered, playing with the laces on his shoe.

"Would you like it if you and your mom came to stay with me and not have to leave? That way I can help take care of you and your mom."

"We already do stay with you, 'member?" His three year old face squirreled up, confused.

"Yeah, but would it be okay if I asked your mom to stay with me forever and ever? Then it would be the three of us instead of just you and her." I knew he wouldn't understand, he's still too young. Even though, I still felt like I had to ask him anyway. She was his mother and he had a right to know what was going on, even if he couldn't understand it.

"Okay," he said smiling at me, still playing with his shoes.

I grabbed him up in a big hug, tickling him through his coat. His childlike laughter piercing the air as he wiggled free from my arms.

"Can't catch me!" He screamed and ran off. I gave him a respectable head start and went off after him, letting him get away time and time again. He laughter filling both the park and my heart.

XXX

"Soda, I don't understand. Christmas eve is tomorrow, why are we going out to dinner _tonight_? We have all that food at your brother's place that will go to waste!"

"Trust me, Patty... between my brothers, the guys and Andy...ain't nothing gonna go to waste. Besides, I want to take you somewhere special, before the chaos of Christmas begins."

I just looked at him. He looked unusual...or maybe it was the way he was acting. Or dressed. Maybe both. He had me get all dolled up in my nicer dress for dinner which made no sense to me. He knows how I hate dressing up, especially with the winter winds hitting us. He was dressed up too, button up shirt and black pants. Even wore black socks with the dress shoes. He sure looks good when he dresses up, but why we were going out to dinner when we had an apartment full of food at his place and Darry had a heap of food at his... well, I didn't get it. Unless....... I looked at him, a thought beginning to take shape.

"We're here," he said pulling into the parking lot of the_ Bague En Diamant, _a French restaurant we hadn't been to before because neither of us could ever afford it. Besides... this was way too upscale for either of us. We ate chicken and meat loaf for heavens sake!

I looked at him, wondering just what the heck he was doing. He got out and I walked next to him, my hand in his as that thought that I refused to let process spun circles in my mind.

"Table for two, please." He said, playing nervously with the cuff of his shirt. He looked at me and smiled, but his eyes had nervous energy. I wondered just how many soda's had my own Soda drunk today?

The waiter led us to a small room with only a few other diners, who gave us the 'new people in the room' look before returning to their dinner dates and the food already in front of them. The room had a large fireplace, subtly ablaze with crackling logs. Candles were glowing on every table. Soda held out my chair for me, and I suddenly began to wonder who I was with.

We were handed the menu's and I began to look everything over. I couldn't even _pronounce_ half this stuff and I was relatively certain Soda didn't speak French. I looked at Soda, ready to start laughing at what he'd gotten us into.

"What?" He asked, looking at me.

"Soda, I just never expected this... it's a tad fancy for us, doncha think?" I whispered in as quiet a voice as I could.

"It's Christmas. You deserve a nice quiet dinner for a change," he said simply.

I shook my head and returned to the menu. We sat in silence looking over everything until the waiter came over.

"Good evening mademoiselle and monsieur. Our specials tonight....."

When he was all done going over everything that I could neither identify nor want to try, I asked if he had a simple chicken plate, which he said they did and thus I ordered. You can't screw up chicken. Even Soda with his often bizarre kitchen habits with food coloring has yet to totally wreck a chicken meal.

"Have you got steak?" Soda asked. I think the waiter was ready to toss us both out, but he simply wrote down what Soda wanted and left us to our own devices again, taking those menu's with him.

"How's your brother enjoying Christmas so far now that he's back home?" I asked as I spread butter over one of those fancy rolls they brought to the table.

"Pony seems to be having a good time. He's got a lot going on back in Montana. A new author picked him up for illustration work, and he's finally headed into his last quarter before graduation."

"First college graduate of your family, huh?" I asked. His eyes sure lit up. He was nothing but proud of his younger brother.

"Yeah. Mom and Dad would have been so proud. I wish they could see him, know how good he turned out."

"I think all of you turned out pretty well," I told him as I washed the roll down with some of the soda in my glass.

"There were times when neither Darry nor I knew how he was going to turn out. There were many, many difficult times."

Soda stared at the flickering flame on the table, perhaps remembering some of those past hurdles they had to jump. "Darry can be proud. He helped raise both of you to higher standards."

"Oh? Higher standards? How so?"

"Well, how many other former Greasers do you see eating in here?"

"Fine...you got me there," he said with a small laugh in his voice.

He finally looked like he was relaxing a bit, which I was glad to see.

The food arrived and we began to eat. Either the food was too good to talk through or he had gone into deep thought again. We sat in silence, enjoying the meal. It wasn't until there wasn't much left but scraps that he cleared his throat and put down his fork.

"Patty, I um.... well, I want to tell you how much I enjoy having you stay with me at my place."

"I know it's been inconvenient having me and Andy there, his stuff all over the place and me having such odd hours with school and work...."

"No, not at all. I want you to stay. Past Christmas."

"Soda, we've been over this. I wont start repeating the same mistakes I made with Andy's father..."

"Let me finish. I ain't Andy's father, and trust me...I know how bad a broken heart will suck all the trust out of a person. But I ain't...I'm not like that. I love you, you _and_ Andy. He may not be my son, but I love him just the same. I know I'm not rich, and I made lots of mistakes in the past with my education and all, but I've done well since then. I have nothing much to offer you, but what I have is yours... if you'll have me."

He pulled out a box from his pocket and opened it, a single sparkling diamond on a gold band lay in his outstretched palm to me.

"I'll support you in all your endeavors, stand by you in all your trials. Celebrate your achievements and comfort you in your losses. I love you, Patricia. Will you marry me?"

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I noticed the room had become very quiet and looked to see the other couples had overheard despite his barely audible speech. They were all waiting for me to say something. Soda looked as if his very life hinged on what I said.

The memories of my mother's cruel words when I told her I was pregnant came back to me, how no one would love me. She was wrong. Soda did. Soda loved me. My life has been better since the day I took a chance and went into that EMT class, lost and scared as all get out yet managed to sit next to the cute guy in the front. He liked me then but no matter how much I rejected him, he persisted. Then one day right after graduation when I thought I'd never see him again, my car sputtering on fumes as I was almost out of gas, I pulled into a random DX station to see Soda looking at me, smiling that big smile of his. He didn't tell me to hit the dusty trail when he saw Andy sitting in the seat next to me, instead Soda went and embraced him, inviting us both to dinner that same night. He never once, in all this time, ever said a mean word to me about my past screw ups. Would I marry him?

"Yes."

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	23. Tug of War

Chapter 23

**Tug Of War**

A radiantly beaming Patty came in my door followed by a happy and relieved Sodapop. One look at their faces and I knew things had gone well. One look at her hand and I knew the answer. Yet another of my brothers was engaged. Ahh, love was in the air. In my house, however... it was stiflingly thick. The consistency of pea soup. I gotta get out of here but I gave the expected courtesies first.

"So he finally asked the big question?" I asked as she stared at the shiny rock now on her hand. I had seen that ring at least a dozen times that week as Soda kept asking if I thought it was good enough, too big, too small, would it fit her finger, what if this and what if that. One more question about what I thought about any of it and I would pound him into next week! Good lord, wasn't Steve his confidant when Ponyboy wasn't around? Yeash!

"I suspected something was up when he wanted to go out to dinner, but... I dunno. Soda is so unpredictable at times," she grinned from ear to ear. That rock shined as much as the lights on the tree did.

Pony was in the kitchen cleaning up from our dinner, shared with Andy and Two-Bit. Andy was asleep on the spare bed and Two-Bit has since gone home. Ever since the issue with his sister, he tried to stick closer to his house when their mother was out.

"Good job, Pony... helping him with that ring," I said in a low voice. I didn't want Patty to hear that Soda had help, just in case it would tarnish the joy she was showing.

"You've already said that a few times, Darry. I swear, I really had very little to do with it. I just know a thing or two about jewelers after living in Montana all this time. Soda picked it out and paid for it. I just happened to be in the same store," he said quietly with a smile on his face.

"I know, but you have more influence than you think."

"Well, if I'm so influential, why haven't you gone back to school yet? You were always the one who wanted to go to college. I heard enough since the time I was twelve about how you wanted to go to college. Circumstances beyond your control stopped you at every chance, whether it was money after you graduated from high school, mom and dad's death, having you accept guardianship. I could even understand you waiting until you found out where I was before allowing yourself the chance to go. But, Darry... face it. Now.. the only thing stopping you from going is _you_. I sent you the money... realize the dream you had all those years ago.... apply and _do _it."

"Pony, it's not that easy. For you it may be, from my perspective it isn't. I just got that promotion. I can't just quit my job."

"No one said you had to quit, Darry," Soda's voice behind me caught me off guard. He must have heard Pony's lecture clear across to the living room where I thought he and Patty were deep in conversation. For once, they had me pinned between them and I had nowhere to go. "Take night classes until you get settled in. If you've shown us nothing else, we know you can work all day and still be up at night. Pony's right, Darry. It's your turn. Time you took it."

"You guys don't realize what you're asking," I said.

"No, you don't realize what you're missing." Ponyboy said, finishing the kitchen and the conversation all in one fell swoop.

"So when am I gonna see this apartment of yours?" Pony turned his attention to Soda, and the two of them went back to the living room to sit and talk about whatever engaged guys talk about.

My head was swimming. They knew how much I had wanted to go to college, how I had dreamed of it since high school when I was on the football team and was making my own smattering of good grades. Nothing like what Pony used to bring home... before Johnny and Dally died anyway. He never fully recovered GPA wise after that... but he has a book -smarts ability that just amazes me. I gave it all up to keep us together and worked my fingers to the bone to keep this roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. Over all those years, my confidence in my own college destiny wore away. Now I wasn't so sure I could hack it like the kids coming fresh out of high school. I had a decent paying job, my house mortgage was affordable and I only had myself to feed and clothe. I was worried that once I left work to go to school, if I wanted (or needed) to go back, I may not be able to. Then what would I do?

"I'm going out for a while." I said, grabbing my keys and coat.

"Bye, Darry," they called to me.

XXX

_Knock Knock_

I cracked my door open to see Darry standing on my doorstep. Smiling, I closed it, removed the chain then opened it all the way allowing him inside.

"Lordy it's cold out there!" I said as the cold wind found it's way up my nightgown under my robe. "What are you doing just driving around out at this hour?" It had to be close to eleven at night. Even for Darry, this was unusual. "Oh, I forgot, Ponyboy's in town. Needing a break from family?" I smiled at him. Having flown as much as I have, I have heard all kinds of stories about family members overstaying their welcome.

"No. I just needed to think. Found myself here. Is this a bad time?" He looked at his watch and then blinked. "Geeze...I didn't realize the hour. It _is_ a bad time. Shelly, I'm sorry if I woke you!" He got up to go and I reached and held his arm.

"It's never a bad time for you to come over. I've already tried to give you my key...I don't know why you wont take it." Once I made sure he wasn't going to leave, I got up and went to the kitchen to make some coffee for us. I had a feeling he needed to talk, and I was going to need some caffeine to stay awake. "What's going on?" I asked sitting back down next to him.

"I made myself a promise years ago and now both Ponyboy and Sodapop are trying to hold me to it."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't know if I have it in me to do it now. I've gotten so used to my life, being what it is, finally content with things as they are that I don't know if I want to chance messing with it and making it worse."

"Is there a chance it will get worse?"

He looked at me. "From my experience, it can _always_ get worse," he said dryly.

"Can it get better?"

He smirked. "Yeah, it can get better too."

"Darry, exactly what are you talking about?" I had to get to the root of this, as he wasn't giving me much to work with here.

He sighed and rubbed his face. "I didn't go to college when I graduated high school because my folks couldn't afford it. I worked part time to earn the money to go and had _finally_ been accepted … then a few weeks before the start of the term my parents were killed. Instead of going to school, I went to work full time to take care of Soda and Ponyboy. Then as time went on, all my thoughts of college went into cold storage. Well, now they're bugging me to go. But I _just_ got a promotion... one I worked years to get. If I quit, I may never get that opportunity again. I'm stuck in a 'damned if I do and damned if I don't' situation."

"What do you want to do?"

He looked at me, as blank as ever. "I haven't got a clue."

He sat on my sofa just staring off into space. I could see he was tired. Tired of the conversation, tired of the struggles... and just plain ole' tired. I turned off the coffeepot and the lights, took his hand and led him to the bedroom. He was asleep before even getting undressed, just lay there one hand paused on his top shirt button He'd worked his whole life to get to the point he was at and didn't want to lose it. I understood that. Maybe just this once his brothers were wrong. Either way, only Darry could tell if it was something worth pursuing. But not tonight. The only thing he was pursuing was sleep. I pulled the covers up over him and snuggled in next to him. We'd figure it out in the morning.

XXX

I opened my eyes in a start, acutely aware I wasn't in my bed. Shelly was brushing her hair, already dressed and looking at me in the mirror's reflection.

"Morning, Darry. I have some fresh coffee made. Help yourself to whatever you want," she said with a smile.

Ah hell. I hadn't meant to do this! Looking at my clothed self, I knew nothing had happened...but I didn't mean to just show up at Shelly's door, blab my heart out then fall asleep in her bed. Geeze, was I getting weak.

"Hey Shelly, I'm sorry about last night," I said as I wrapped my arms around her standing there at the mirror. She turned in my arms and faced me, a smile on her face.

"You need an outside opinion, that's what I'm here for. And _never _be sorry about sleeping in my bed, cause if it were up to me, that's where you'd be every night."

"That so?" I smiled a devils smile, pulling her closer.

"Yeah, it is so," she said with her voice lower and tone more serious. Then she brightened up and pulled my arms from around her. "No time for play today, Mr. Curtis. It's Christmas eve day and I still have a lot to do. You still planning that party at your house tonight?"

"Yeah. Everyone's gonna be there, they always show up when free food is involved." They show up even if no food is involved, come to think of it.

"You wanna take a shower, then we can go out for breakfast, my treat."

"Sure, but I don't have a change of clothes." I reminded her.

"Yes you do, remember? You left that bag of yours last week. It's in the closet. Hurry up. Never get in the way of a woman who wants to go shopping!"

I started toward the bathroom when she called me back.

"Darry, about last night, what you said about college.... This is something that you have to decide, not your brothers... no matter how well intentioned they may be. If it's what you want to do and if it will get you to where you want to be in life, then maybe you should give it a go, but if you are already content with how your life is.. no one should try to sway you. Maybe a night class for a start to see if it's what you want. Then you can decide."

I grinned, nodding my head. I didn't tell her that was the same advice Soda gave me, it just came better from her. I grabbed a towel and headed in for the shower.

XXX

"So this is your place? Not bad!" Two-Bit brought me over then went to get Steve from his apartment in the next building. I looked around, a worn couch by one wall facing a TV set perched on a nightstand for the living room ensemble, card table with four folding chairs for a dining set, a few lamps thrown in and there ya go, Soda's apartment. Yikes!

"I have bed's too, Pony. They may not be made, but I have them. Go check it out." Soda pointed off down the short hall and I went to see what I could see. Patty was in the kitchen making oatmeal for Andy, whom I found still asleep in the old single bed that used to occupy the small bedroom in Darry's house. Now I knew who's bed it was. It was Andy's. Way to go, champ. Problem solved. Closing the door softly, I went to the other bedroom on the other side of the hall and found a nice set of queen sized mattresses set up on a bed frame, no head or foot board attached. The dresser from Darry's was in here and as usual, more clothes were heaped _on_ it rather than _in_ it. I didn't hang longer than a cursory look, realizing that this was Patty's personal space too. No need to get my future sister- in- law upset with me this early on.

I made my way back to the kitchen where they were in the middle of making pancakes. I could tell Soda was doing the cooking. There were two stacks of cakes being set up Red pancakes and green pancakes... ahh Soda... always the festive one. A knock on the door made me look up.

"Come on in!" Soda yelled. The door opened and Steve and Two-Bit strolled in.

"Well?" Steve simply asked Soda, as if it was a code.

Soda had a broad smile and simply said "yes."

"Congratulations, buddy! Me and Two-Bit are gonna throw you the wildest bachelor party Tulsa has ever seen. Set a date yet?"

"Umm..not yet." He looked nervously at Patty who gave him an odd glance. I only wondered what that was about.

"Well, you gotta let us know so we can plan! Morning there, future Mrs. Curtis!" Two-Bit helped himself to one of the cakes when her back was turned.

"Morning Two-Bit, Steve," she said as she worked the batter.

The door opened and Andy came out and headed straight for the bathroom.

"Yes! Finally! I think he's finally got it!" Soda's enthusiasm was unusual. All the kid did was go to the bathroom. My look at him made him laugh. "Pony, one day you'll understand." He and Patty exchanged a twinkle eyed glance that I couldn't understand.

The table, such as it was, was set and everyone sat down to eat. Two-Bit and I ate at the counter so Andy could sit at the table and eat his oatmeal. I was the first one finished so I started washing dishes, Patty went to get Andy dressed and Soda tried to clean up. However, with Steve and Two-Bit here, he didn't accomplish much.

"Ready to go?" Patty came out with a dressed Andy, and we headed out the door.

XXX

The Christmas party was both loud and crowded. Darry had enough food to feed a small army, and that's about what showed up. Soda and Patty were chatting it up in the kitchen, Darry with Shelly getting way to cozy for my eyes to watch in the living room, Two-Bit and a strangely familiar but I couldn't place her lady each loading plates with mountains of food, Steve and some gal he managed to pick up at the last minute and even Tim showed up. A few other friends from our past came in and left, saying 'hi' to me in passing before having their take of the food and getting on their way. One guy stopped and looked at me oddly, dunno why.

"Weren't you in that plane crash a while back?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I'm fine now. Thanks," I said simply. I didn't recognize him and he didn't stay long. I forgot about it soon after, as my thoughts were fifteen hundred miles north, thinking of Ashley. I missed her something fierce.

Little Andy looked afraid and I understood why. This wasn't a kid- friendly party, and I was actually surprised he wasn't crying his eyes out. "Common, little guy." I zipped him in his coat, plopped a hat on his head and took him outside.

We sat on the front steps and I pointed up into the night sky, stars twinkling out as far as you could see.

"See there, Andy, look at all the stars. Pretty neat, huh? Those three are in Orion's Belt." He looked at the sky then at me, but our thoughts were drastically different.

"Is Santa coming?"

I pulled him in my lap. "I hope so, little guy. I hope so."

A few minutes later, I took him inside to the guest bed. He was asleep soon, despite all the racket around him.

I closed the door and went to get some food. Tim was already there, beer in one hand and burger in the other.

"Kid," he called to me. In some eyes, I would never grow up. He put down the beer as I came over.

"Yep Tim, how ya doing?" I shook his hand.

"Not bad. Heard you were doing well for yourself."

"I'm doing okay." For some reason, I didn't like that Tim knew I was financially okay.

"Heard you were the hero that saved that family in that plane crash last October. Got yourself pretty banged up in the process then got jumped afterward."

"I ain't no hero and I'm doing fine now. Thanks." I hoped the conversation was over. It wasn't.

"Well, I looked into it. Found this on one of the River Bottom boys not too long after the crash. Thought I'd return it to it's proper owner. Hope you didn't have much in there." He said, handing me a small package wrapped in newspaper. For Tim, it was the same as Christmas wrap. I opened it and smirked. My wallet. I had replaced my stolen wallet when I got back to Montana and already had my new drivers license.

"Thanks, Tim," I said with deeper sincerity. So it was a grease who mugged me after all. I opened it and found my ID's, just like I left them.

"Next time, you tell them you know me. No one's gonna bust on you again. That message is clear across all bounds. Gotta go, kid. Good luck in life." He grabbed his beer and strolled out of the house.

The evening tapered until it was just Darry, me and Soda, Patty and Shelly and a sleeping Andy. Steve went off with his date, and Two-Bit disappeared with that lady too.

"Who's Two-Bit dating?" I asked. Soda just looked at me.

"Whaddya mean?"

"That lady he was with. I've seen her before, but I can't place her. Who is she?"

"Ponyboy! That's not his girlfriend," Darry was looking at me astonished. "That's his sister! Lord, Pony, it _has_ been awhile since you've seen her."

Obviously. That girl has grown up!

"Well, gang, time for us to get on home. Merry Christmas, Darry, Ponyboy. Shelly, good to meet you again." Patty got up and got her coat while Soda went to get a sleeping Andy. I started wrapping what was left of the food up and put it in the fridge.

"See you in the morning, Pony." Soda said as he walked out carrying Andy in his arms.

"Ponyboy, I'm gonna take Shelly home. You need anything?"

"No, Darry, I'll be fine. Go on. Merry Christmas, Shelly." I called to them as they left the house.

Once I finished cleaning the house I sat on the couch in front of the lit tree, the only thing still glowing in the house. I knew Darry wasn't coming back tonight, so I was alone. _Good night, Ashley,_ I thought. _I love you._ I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	24. Christmas Day

Chapter 24

**Christmas Day**

**XXX**

"Morning, Pone!" Soda's cold hands on my face woke me up.

"Merry Christmas, Soda," I said, yawning as I sat up. The tree was still blinking, although you couldn't really see it in the bright morning light. "You have breakfast yet?"

Andy jumped on the couch next to me, shoving a toy in my face. "See what Santa gots me!"

He was jumping and squirreling around so much I couldn't get my eyes to focus. My question of breakfast ignored in the morning bustle.

"Andrew, stop that! Let Ponyboy wake up. Here, you go play." Patty got him off the couch and set him in front of the television, where thankfully he stayed. I got up and went to take a fast shower. When I was finished, the whole house was alive again.

"Merry Christmas, Ponyboy." Darry called to me as I came out. I heard Shelly's voice mingling with Patty's in the kitchen, Andy was still parked in front of the TV, munching on what looked like toast, and Soda and Darry were making eggs and bacon.

"Hey, Darry, same to ya." I reached into the fridge to get the milk and got a sauce pan to heat it in. Eventually I had it at the temperature I liked it at, added the cocoa then poured it into a mug. I looked around at everyone, feeling unsettled for some reason. It was either because there was too much action going on in here or that or my heart longed for something else. I went into the living room and picked up the phone, dialing numbers I knew so well.

_Hello_?

My chest felt as if I had just poured all the hot cocoa down my shirt. I missed her so much.

"Hey Ashley." I softly said.

Her voice was the best Christmas present I could have, and I relished every moment on the phone with her. She let me know things were fine at my place, that Hera was well, that the snow was deep but they managed okay in it. I told her about what I was doing and that Soda had proposed, that Patty had said yes. I wanted to stay on the line all day, but eventually I couldn't ignore the tiny pieces of toast being tossed at me from Soda, a hint to get off the phone and come eat. I told her I'd see her tomorrow and hung up.

"I'm sending you my bill, Ponyboy," Darry said dryly.

"I'll write you a check." I quipped back as I took a seat next to Patty.

"We decided on a date. February first." Soda said out of nowhere. Patty smiled, unable to speak with a mouth full of food.

I looked at him. "That's awful fast." I said, to which Darry whacked me on the head for saying. Mental note to self, don't sit next to Darry at any more family gatherings.

"Well, we cant have a church wedding, and there's no real need to go to a lot of expense," Soda explained.

I looked at Patty. She was still smiling but it had toned down considerably.

"Soda and I have already spoken with a minister who has agreed to marry us at Woodward Park. That's the nicest place in the area, and they won't charge us anything for a simple ceremony. I can't get married in a church... not after having Andy... but I think it will be just as nice. As long as a minister marries us, I'm happy with it."

"Will you? Will you_ really_ be happy with it?" I had to ask, but I did so as gently as I could. I knew Ashley was going nuts with wedding plans, I couldn't understand how Patty was letting it all go.

She looked at me and smiled, patting my hand. "I will. Having Soda as a husband is all I need. The rest is just fluff. Not that you and Ashley shouldn't have that... I know she's looking forward to it. I can't wait to see her in her wedding dress and floating down the isle on her father's arm. But that's not for me. It's fine, really Ponyboy."

"We're going down to do the blood tests next week and then we have to have a waiting period before they'll issue the license. After that, it's just waiting for the date to get here. The minister costs twenty-five dollars and the license is an additional five bucks. Two-Bit and Steve already said they were gonna pay the marriage fee's, but the divorce was on us."

They both laughed. I smiled, unable to shake the feeling that Soda was shorting himself out... and that even if Patty acted like she didn't want the fluff... deep down, she probably did.

"You guys ready to raid the tree?" Darry asked out loud to everyone.

XXX

I held the new boots Pony got me along with the three pairs of jeans from Soda, but my best gift was just watching my brothers. Together and healthy in the same room. Eighteen and twenty-one. I did it. Wore me out, worried me to no end, broke me financially and damn near physically, but I did it.

Soda was playing with Andy while holding Patty's hand. The new watch I got him looked good on him. It should hold up better than the old one he had. Of course, he goes through watches like I go through socks. Hazards of our jobs... our clothes take quite a beating.

Ponyboy seemed to like the portfolio I bought him to keep his artwork in, which I thought was nicer than just letting them sit in the notepads between pieces of tissue paper. He's a professional artist, time his artwork was kept in a professional manner. I also bought him some new pencils, figuring he'd like that too. He seemed pleased, but looked somewhat sad. I figured he was missing Ashley. Poor kid. When he's here he wants to be there, when he's there he wants to be here. Time to get his mind on something else.

"Sodapop, Ponyboy... let's take a drive. You ladies don't mind watching the house, do you?" I called out to the gals in the house.

"No, we'll just sit here eating more of this pie. You guys don't freeze out there." Shelly was on her second slice.

"Don't paint the walls pink while we're gone!" Soda said as he gave Patty a kiss.

Everyone piled into the truck and I headed out. The ride wasn't that long but the freezing winds kept anyone from wanting to get out once we got to the cemetery.

XXX

"You think mom and dad wouldn't mind if we _didn't _freeze this year, Darry?" Soda said with chattering teeth. Darry had cut the engine and the cold instantly crept inside the truck. It was worse for Soda, being next to the door, but I had my own problems to contend with.

"I'd be happy to trade with ya Sodapop, this middle seat ain't doing much for my knees. I ain't as short or skinny as I used to be."

"Knock if off, both of you. Come on." Darry went ahead leaving me and Soda snickering. We finally filed out and caught up with him.

Not much had changed since I was here almost two months ago. A few more twigs and leaves had fallen, nothing unusual. I brushed them away, a pointless task... more would fall as the days passed by. I imagined them peacefully sleeping, I didn't know how else to picture what lay half a dozen feet under us. Only Darry had seen the damage the car crash had left their bodies with. I stood up, shoving my hands in my pockets to try to get feeling back in them..

"Guys, I've been thinking about it all day. Since last night, really. I'm not going to pursue college, not full time anyway and definitely nothing now. I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, and I certainly don't want either of you to think that school isn't important. It is. I just have other things going on in my life right now that I'm not going to stir the pot on. Can you both live with that?"

He looked at us. For a minute, I forgot I was cold and that I had lost feeling in my feet. But somewhere from within me my voice came out.

"Sure Darry. Whatever you want is fine."

"Yeah, Dar. As long as you're happy. Pony and me, we'll support your decision. Just like you did us. Always."

"Thanks, guys. Maybe one day I'll go, but not now."

I looked back at the headstone. _Sleep well, mom and dad. Your boys are doing fine._

XXX

"Well, kid, back on the train, huh?" Two-Bit shook my hand as I waited on the platform. "You be sure to tell Ashley everything she missed."

"What? The bad humor or the fact that almost a dozen people were using the one bathroom at Darry's house, and only a few of them were ladies? I doubt she'd miss that."

"Well, you take care, Pony. We'll send you the updates on Soda's party. Try to be here for it, if you can." Steve whacked me hard on the shoulder. I guess he hadn't forgotten my punch from last time.

"You take care, Ponyboy. It was great seeing you again. I'm gonna miss ya, ya know. Have a good New Year. Say 'hey' to Ashley and her folks for us. Love ya, bro." Soda said as he gave me a hug goodbye.

Only Darry was left. Tall, broad shouldered Darry. Every time I do this, I remember him in the hospital when I came back from Windrixville. He wore the same expression on him every single time. The only difference was there were no tears. That and time.

"You call when you get home, Ponyboy. No matter how late. You understand me?"

"Would that be _your _number or Shelly's place that you'll be at?" I ducked his punch. I saw that one coming at least. He smiled.

"Mine," he said with finality.

The train started to jerk, and I knew I had only seconds left. I jumped on the steps and remembered something. I wanted to leave them speechless, and had the perfect zinger.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you guys...."

The train started to pick up speed, so I had to yell. The look of pure shock on every one of their faces was priceless. Of course I'd hear all sorts of shit about it later, when I explained what I meant, but I'd come up with a good excuse for it between here and Montana. It was worth it.

"We're going to have a baby!"

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	25. January

Chapter 25

**January**

**XXX**

"Did he say 'baby'?" Soda looked at me. My expression, I'm sure, matched everyone else's. Flashbacks of Ashley vomiting in my bathroom when she was here in October, looking pale as a ghost... I was so _sure_ it was just her being upset at Pony being lost in the crash. Then, I remembered seeing them in bed together... just sleeping ...and it_ looked _like they were both dressed, but _still_! What happened before we came home that morning? What's happened since? I hadn't really thought about this until now, but why didn't she come down with him for Christmas? If she _were_ pregnant, how far along is she? What about their wedding? His college? His career? And_ her._... what about _her _future?

How could he drop this bomb on us and leave without an explanation! I almost wanted to chase after the train and yank him off it. As it was, I was going to have to wait until -earliest- seven in the morning when his train is scheduled to arrive back in Helena, then another hour for him to get home. And that's _only_ if he went straight home. If Ashley's.....I cant even think it now..... but if she _is_, he'd certainly go to her parents house first to see her...unless she was thrown out and was living at Pony's house instead....

"Darry....hey, Earth to Darry!" Soda was snapping his fingers at me. I wanted to slug him. Never do that to me. "Did he say 'baby'?"

"Yeah, Soda.... I think he did. Didn't he say he finished getting furniture for his house?" I asked. I looked down the track one last time, knowing the train was long gone by now. We turned and headed for the cars, Steve and Two-Bit still struck dumb.

"He said he got the bedroom furniture and a couch. Why?"

"Wondering, that's all." I didn't want to have put the two words that swirled in my thoughts into actual words. _Nursery Furniture._ I just knew I wasn't going to sleep tonight and the hour span between seven and eight in the morning would worry me into a damned ulcer.

"Darry, you _really_ think they.....? Come on... _Darry!_ As adamant as Ponyboy has been about keeping his hands off her, do you _really_ think...?"

"He's a Curtis, ain't he?" I said looking down as we got to the cars. "He's got hormones just like the rest of us."

"Yeah, but this is_ Ponyboy_ Curtis, Darry. The one and only. He's screwing with us. I'll put a dollar on it. Who's game?" Steve said, pulling a buck out of his wallet.

"I'm in on that action. I say no. That kids still as innocent as he ever was." Two-Bit pulled a dollar out of his pocket to hand to Steve.

"Put that away. No one's betting on Pony's virginity or Ashley's... situation. If she even _is_, that is. Or _isn't_. Ah shit. Don't you two have somewhere you need to be?" I was as flustered as ever, and I hated being like this. It was rare for it to happen. The guys were laughing on the inside and Two-Bit was about to piss himself trying to hide it.

"Hell no, Darry. It's Christmas day, or what's left of it. But we'll leave you alone. You and Soda have a lot to talk about. Right, Uncle Soda?"

Two Bit was wise to duck and run when he did. I had already leaned back to deliver another jaw breaking punch when he and Steve scampered over to his fancy Firebird.

"Bye guys!" They called out the windows as they passed us. I got in Soda's car and waited as Soda got going.

"He's still a virgin, Darry. Stop worrying." Soda's voice was much stronger, more assured than ever. He still had that award winning grin on his face, and his eyes were laughing, but he was serious just the same. I could only hope he was right.

XXX

"_Final Stop: Helena, Montana."_

I gathered my bags and waited for the train to stop moving. I had ridden the train enough to remember the lurch it makes when the final brakes are applied and then the engine is shut down. Not all my fellow riders did, and I grinned while shaking my head as more than a few of the impatient souls stumbled at the door as they fought to keep their balance when it happened. The doors eventually slid open, and we were all allowed out in to the cold morning air.

I wound my way through the station and back out into the cold air, enjoying every bit of it. A car honked and pulled up next to me, the window rolling down as I looked through the glass. "Hey, handsome, want a lift home?" Ashley was grinning ear to ear.

"Don't mind if I do! Morning and belated Merry Christmas, Dr. Benning." I said, looking at her father as he sat grinning behind the wheel.

I put my bags in the trunk and climbed in the back seat. "Thanks again for coming to get me, sir. I know you had to get up early for it."

"Not a problem, Ponyboy. Always glad to help. How's your family?"

"They're fine, sir. Thanks for asking."

The casual banter between the three of us was nothing remarkable, filler talk, mostly. I unloaded my bags from his car into mine once we got to their house.

"Coming inside, Ponyboy?" he asked once I had my car loaded.

"No sir, I really want to get on home and take a shower and get some rest first. I still smell like the train and, well, you understand."

He nodded and went inside, leaving Ashley with me in his driveway. Once he was behind his door, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. "I missed you," I said softly. "Here, a little late, but still just as good. Merry Christmas." I handed her the small jewelry box, which she opened with delight. A pair of pearls looked up at her, and she smiled as she fingered them. "I thought they would look good with your wedding dress."

"They'll go perfectly with the beading. Thank you. I love them." Her face glowed with happiness. Then again, it could just be the cold.

"You better get inside. I need to get on home and call my brothers. I'm sure by now they're ready to kill me," I said laughing.

She looked confused. "Why?"

"Well, let me tell ya..." By the time I was done, she was laughing too.

"So they think I'm pregnant?"

"I have no idea what they're thinking, but whatever it is, I know they'll want to wring my neck when they hear the truth." I looked at her, eyes shining and cheeks pink. I brushed the hair from her face and just stood there. I could feel the heat rising in me and knew that was my cue to leave. I gave her a respectable kiss as I knew her father was probably watching from some window, and got in my car to go home. "Call you later, Ash. Love you." I said as I backed out of the driveway.

XXX

"Morning Darry," Ponyboy said to me when he finally called. I was on pins and needles as the hour passed minute by minute. "Get any sleep?" He asked. I could hear the laughter in his voice. I was ready to strangle him.

"Alright, Ponyboy. What the hell do you mean by saying you're having a baby. How far along is she?"

"According to the doctor, she's at least three and a half months along, give or take a few weeks. She ain't due to foal until late August though, so there's still plenty of time."

"Wait a minute. Not due until_ when_? _Foal_? What the hell are you talking about Ponyboy?"

"Hera, my _mare_. She and Zeus got the sha-bangies on and now Hera is pregnant. Zeus is gonna be a daddy. Just goes to show I can't leave those two alone for a second. Why, what did you _think _I meant?"

I could hear him laughing at me all the way from Montana. I. Was. Gonna. Kill. Him.

"You are a real piece of work, Ponyboy." I said dryly as I rubbed my head. I was gonna need some aspirin when I was done on the phone. "I take it your ride north was uneventful?"

"Same wonderfully boring trip it always is. Got about a foot of snow here and it's colder than ever. I have to get the horses fresh hay and check on their water trough."

"Well, good to know you're okay. A moron, perhaps, but an okay moron. Talk to you soon. Bye."

I put the phone back on the table and got the aspirin, then went back over to my spot on the makeshift bedding.

"So, is he okay?" Shelly asked me, her hands rubbing on my bare chest as I lay back down with her in front of the fireplace wrapped in all the blankets I could find in the house, the reflection of the fire warping in the nearly empty pair of wine glasses sitting on the floor a foot away.

"Yeah. His _horse_ is pregnant, not his fiancée." I pulled her closer to me, feeling her soft skin in my hands.

She lay back, letting my hands explore her again. I wasn't worried anyone would come in. My door was locked – the first time I had locked it in recent memory. Last night, I had reason to lock it. A good reason.

"His horse?" She laughed a little. "Well that should make you feel better." She said. I wasn't thinking of him anymore. My mind had already moved on to other things.

XXX

_January 3_

_Dear Darry, _

_The spring term started yesterday, although you could hardly call it spring with all the snow on the ground. I can finally see the light at the end of the scholastic tunnel. Not too much longer and I'll finally have a real diploma to hang on the wall in my study. I must admit, I'm a little bummed that you decided to put off college, but I understand too. No point in going if your heart isn't in it. When you're ready... and one day I'm sure you will be, Soda and I will be your biggest cheerleaders. But I ain't wearing the skirt!_

_I'm working on a new book, seeing as how Hot Tulsa Nights is doing relatively well. It isn't a best seller by any means, but the sales of it have been encouraging. My editor is looking forward to all the punctuation corrections she'll be making! Of course, there's the illustration work to do too. I don't know how I find time to do it all, it just somehow gets done._

_Other than than, nothing new going on. _

_Take care,_

_Ponyboy_

XXX

Jan 14

Hey kid,

Steve and I are gonna have a batc...baci...ah hell, a party for Soda on the 31st. You gonna be able to make it? Lemme know. Say hey to Ashley for us.

Two-Bit

XXX

_20 January_

_Ponyboy, I know the guys are up to something, don't you feel you have to join in. I know you have class and everything, and I'm sure these trips are starting to cost you a small fortune. Of course I want you here, but it's just a simple ceremony. I, well I asked Darry to be my best man... not that I don't want you to be up there with me too. I got a suit to wear for it, Patty went with me to some formal wear store for men and talked to some guy working there, next thing I know I'm trying on all kinds of pants and jackets... getting pulled and tugged on just like when we were little kids and mom had us try on clothes for school. Finally Patty seemed happy and I paid for it. Guess a new dining room table can wait after all. _

_Well, I best be going. Working a few extra hours overtime tonight. _

_Soda._

XXX

January 22

Hey Darry, thanks for the call. Of course I'm gonna be there... that was a stupid question. The only problem is.... I have to fly down. I swear, there wont be enough sedatives in the pharmacy to keep me happy. Ashley is coming too. We'll be arriving hopefully at the airport this time... not in Osage, at six in the evening. I have my suit with me, thanks for sending me the information on which one to get. I'm sure he will be surprised.

See you soon.

Ponyboy

XXX

"Ready to go?"

I looked at her, sweat rising on my forehead and streaming down my backside. Why that doorway was so hard to cross into was beyond me. It was only a plane. Just because one hundred percent of all my previous flights had ended in a fiery crash was no reason to think this one would be the same. Ohhh, that thought didn't help.

"Come on, Ponyboy. Hold onto me and close your eyes."

I took her hand and walked with her down the ramp toward the plane. Taking our seats... mine being an isle seat this time, I gripped the arm rests and closed my eyes. I didn't want to open them until the plane was in Tulsa. Ashley pried my fingers off the chair and held my hand. Not even her touch made me relax this time.

"It's gonna be okay." She said softly in my ear.

"Yeah, sure. Wake me when it's over," was my only reply.

Moments later, I felt the lurch of the plane as it moved from the terminal. Terminal.... that word has so many meanings! My stomach turned and my eyes flew open. Suddenly tearing through the seat back, I pulled out a bag Michelle had shown me a long time ago. The barf bag. I made it live up to it's name. The flight was to last about two hours. I wondered, numbly, if I would make it that long.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	26. Bachelor Party

Chapter 26

**Bachelor Party**

XXX

"_Welcome to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Local time is 5:48 P.M.. We hope you have enjoyed flying with us today!"_

I couldn't move very well. I puked on the plane for the first few minutes of the flight, then dry heaved for a while afterward. The surrounding passengers looked annoyed with me at first, which I understood but didn't give a rats ass about either. Eventually they just seemed to resent my being here, which believe me- the feeling was mutual. I didn't want to be here either, but there was no other way I could get to Soda's wedding then get back to Montana without missing school. The train would simply take too long round trip. Then the stewardess decided to get involved, as if I needed more attention.

"Sir, are you sick?"

_No shit honey, obviously you missed the show. Ask the folks around me...they'll fill you in!_ I was too weak and tired to talk. I just looked up at the stewardess while Ashley updated her.

"My fiancé was on that flight that crashed in Osage back on October 8. This is his first flight since. He's still getting used to flying. Sorry for the disturbance."

As soon as Ash mentioned the last flight...the other stewardess came over. They started talking to each other, ignoring the fact we heard every word.

"That was the one Michelle was on, remember? She was lucky," said stewardess number one.

"Yeah, some young man on that flight saved a family from burning up," answered stewardess number two. "She told me he was just like a hero, running back to save those kids. Thought he was dead for a few days till he showed up again."

I felt my stomach lurch again and squeezed Ash's hand.

"If you don't mind, that _young man_ you're referring to is Ponyboy here, and I doubt he needs more reminders of what happened. What he _does_ need is a little more quiet and little less notoriety. So please..."

I looked at Ashley, her face and tone were begging, and the stewardesses took the hint and finally went back to their spots in the kitchen.

"Thank you," I mumbled feebly.

"Close your eyes, Pony. We'll be there soon."

I did as she said, but doubt I slept. I kept waiting to hear the engines die out on the wings. The only time I got panicked was when I felt the plane start to fall some and felt a jerking sensation below me, from under the plane. My eyes shot up and I nearly broke Ash's hand squeezing it so tight.

"It's just the landing gear, Pony. We're at the airport. We're in Tulsa." Her eyes met mine and she smiled, calming me down. I tried to let go of her hand, and even though I let off of my grip, I couldn't pry myself away. As long as I held her, I was safe. She didn't argue. The landing gear made contact with the runway and the plane slowed down. All that was left to do was get off this death trap. Even though we made it, I still hated flying.

The door opened and all the passengers began to file out, Ash and I along with them.

"Well, I'll be damned. I thought for sure I was gonna have to go to the train station in the early morning hours to pick you up. I never would have thought you'd fly again, Pony. Hey Ashley. Good to see you too."

"And you'll note, Darry... I'm not pregnant, despite what you may have thought." I looked at Ashley, her face smiling evilly.

"So he told you, huh? Sorry ...well _he_ didn't explain it.... I mean, I..."

"Darry.... just be quiet," she said, watching Darry turn a few shades of red. I hadn't seen Darry be embarrassed in years. This was almost comical, if only I could really enjoy it.

"Pony, you okay? You look … _green_," Darry noticed.

"I hate flying," was all I could say. He laughed at me as Ash took my hand and Darry led the way to baggage claim.

Later, I sat back in the truck, resting my head on the seat back. Darry and Ashley chatting about the last month, the horses, her classes, my classes, and everything else. I stayed quiet. As long as I didn't have to talk, I think I would be fine.

"Ponyboy, you gonna be okay for the party?" Darry asked, looking at me.

"What party?" I said, lifting my head up.

"Soda's bachelor party. I'm gonna drop Ashley off at Soda's where the ladies are doing their own thing, then you and I are gonna join the rest of the gang at Bucks."

"Darry, I'm not dressed for anything nice," Ashley said, starting to worry the wrinkles from her blouse.

"Ashley, don't worry about it. All the women are there. Pony and I have to get on to the guys. Take your bag with you and stay there tonight. It's all set up for you."

Ash looked at me. I sat up, forcing myself to feel better. "Go on. Trust me, you won't want to be at Darry's tonight."

She nodded and Darry pulled up at Soda's building. I walked her to Soda's door and waited until it opened. Squeals of female laughter rang from inside.

"Ashley's here! Yahoo!" was heard from within.

"Have fun," I said, kissing her before I returned to Darry's truck.

"So what's the plan?" I asked as I settled back in the seat.

"Buck's got the place cleared out for us. Steve's working on getting him drunk. You know how he hates to drink, especially after almost losing his kidney... so it's been a challenge. I don't care if you get drunk either, as long as you're functional tomorrow. You got your suit?

"Yeah. It's in my bag. So you're best man, huh?"

"You know he wants us both there. He wasn't sure you'd make it down. He's worried he's taking you from your school work."

"That's why I flew down. Only you and Soda will ever get me on a plane. I still cant believe I actually flew again." I rubbed my temples. Darry saw me and handed me a bottle of aspirin.

"Here, take two now. That way the hangover you might have later wont be as bad."

I took them, but not for a hangover. I had no intention of drinking. Once was enough in my life.

I had turned fourteen a few weeks before the night I got drunk, and I was miserable. My parents were dead, Darry was bossing me around, my nightmares left me exhausted and to get my mind off everything else, I stupidly decided it was time to see what the big deal about alcohol was. I had been curious about it for a while, seeing as how Two-Bit drank like a fish. So I tried it. Several cups worth of it. Cured the curiosity factor for that and everything else in my life.

Me and the bushes had a meeting, then I moved on to embrace the toilet. Puking for what felt like an hour straight, Darry screaming at me the whole time and throughout the night, the gang laughing at me... well except for Johnny. He didn't laugh, just looked down, disappointed like. I don't remember what Soda did or even if he was there, but his disapproval was clear to see after I sobered up. At some point I went to sleep only to wake hours later with a splitting headache that Darry decided to coincide with yet another lecture. A loud lecture. To be honest, nothing he said lasted as long as the memory of feeling as bad as I had. That was it. No more alcohol in my life. I didn't need it, didn't want it and had no desire for it.

XXXX

"Well, look who finally decided to come down and join the party! Howya been, Pony-- boy," Steve wasn't quite drunk but he was well on the way there. "Still tag-a-longing after Soda, after all these years. Why ruin your own record?"

The music was loud, the smoke present but not thick, and the room somewhat crowded. People were everywhere...almost like back at Christmas. All friends of ours, folks who backed us at rumbles and bled with us no matter what the cause. Not a bad show. Between Steve and Tim, I think everyone was here.

Soda got up and met Pony as he followed in the door behind me. "Hey, Pone. Glad you made it. I wasn't sure if you'd get to be here or not. It wouldn't be the same without you. You ain't mad at me, are ya, as far as having Darry be my best man an all? I want you up there with me, I insist."

I was pretty sure Pony could smell it on his breath, lord knows I could. I left those two and sat back at the table. Tim dealt a new hand and everyone went back to their conversations while Soda and Pony talked at the bar. I kept an eye on them, Buck handing Pony a glass of Pepsi while they talked. I noticed the subtle nod at Steve and Steve's grin appear on his face as he sat across from me.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked Steve.

"Whaaa? Me? Nothin' Darry, nothin!"

Pony downed the whole thing, typical for him which we all knew. He lived off that carbonated sugary mix for the longest time, until I couldn't afford to buy them as often. Buck simply handed him another glass, which I noticed he just sipped this time. Finally Soda meandered back to the table and the poker game resumed. What I couldn't tell was if Soda was in on it too, or if this was solely Steve's handiwork. Or Steve's and Two-Bit's. Now that I thought about it, where _was _Two-Bit?

"Where's Mathews?" I asked openly.

"Pool table," Tim answered back.

My glance went back to Ponyboy, who was still downing that second drink. He got up to join us and suddenly reached out to grab the bar. He had no idea what Buck had done, and I wasn't gonna let this get carried away any further. It was one thing if he chose to get hammered, another if someone else did the hammering.

"Steve, either you go tell him or I will."

Steve looked humorously offended, but he wasn't getting up. He was too busy hiding his laughter behind his hand at how hard a time Pony was beginning to have.

I went over to the bar. "No more, Buck.. The next drink for either of my brothers had better be _exactly_ what they order with no surprises inside. You read me?"

"Like a book, Darrel."

"Darry, what are you talking about?" Pony looked at me, wide eyed. I took the glass from his hand and sniffed it. I could smell it, but it was subtle. Pony wasn't a drinker and probably couldn't tell.

"Trust me, Pony. You'll understand in the morning."

I helped him to the poker table where we played for a bit, then he got up and headed off in the direction of the pool table where Two-Bit was. Later, I went to join him but he was nowhere to be found.

"Two-Bit, seen Pony?"

Two-Bit looked at me, confused. "I thought he was over with you at the card game."

I went back to the other room, scanned it again but didn't see him. Returning to the bar, I got a Pepsi...a real one this time, and asked Buck. This was his establishment, afterall.

"Seen where Pony went to?"

"Yup. Kid went upstairs to Dally's old room. Asked me for the key a while ago."

_Ah shit_. "Thanks a bunch," I said sourly.

I climbed the stairs and went to the room, knocking on it first then entering when there was no answer.

Pony was on the bed, curled up on his side facing me. I knew the rooms remained in the same layout they were in when Pony was here last. Buck was too lazy to change anything that major. Fresh sheets on the beds were about all he managed to rotate. My knowledge of what happened here was limited to what witnesses said in the court testimony and what he put in that essay his teacher had him write. But what little it was was burned into my memory, never forgotten.

"You okay, Ponyboy?" I sat on the squeaky bed next to him.

"You ever think of them anymore, Darry? Johnny and Dally?" His quiet voice softly asked.

"I do, but not as much. I don't think Johnny would want us to dwell on things, and Dally was never one to care about what anyone else thought anyway. I know they both cared for you, though. They wouldn't want to see you like this. Neither of them. They've moved on. I thought you had too."

He wiped his eyes. It obviously didn't take much to get him somewhat tipsy. At least I could talk to him now. I foolishly wondered if that was what I did wrong all those years. When I wanted to talk to him, I should have given him a beer from Two-Bits stash. Then we wouldn't have been so isolated from each other.

"I have. I just miss them every now and then. I sure am ruining the party, ain't I?"

"No, Pony. Anytime you can open up to Darry is a good time." Soda was at the door. "And it's my party, so I don't mind a bit." He walked over, door closing behind him and kneeled down so his face wasn't far from Pony's.

Pony smiled, reaching out to Soda from where he lay on the bed, touching Soda's cheek. I watched in awe. These two have always had a bond all their own.

"I'm so glad I didn't lose you, Soda," he barely whispered. "I thought I had. I never would have left if I thought you were alive. I waited for you to come home. I couldn't stay when I thought you were gone. It was just too much. You know? I'm so sorry."

Tears rolled off Pony's face, matched by the ones rolling off Soda's. I held back, an easier thing to do since I had refrained from the drinks Buck was handing out. Soda wiped Pony's tears away. "Well, if you had stayed, you wouldn't have met Ashley, have your home, land, jobs, money and dare I say it... a happy life. A damn good happy life. You belong in Montana. You did the right thing."

Pony sighed, closing his eyes tightly and pulling up tighter in a ball, as if he were cold.. "I think somehow, someone spiked my Pepsi."

"You're right. Here, this one's fine," I said as he sat up. He took the drink from me and swallowed some.

"You ready to get married, Soda?" Pony asked, leaning back against the wall, knees bent to his chest while sitting on the bed.

"Ready as I'll ever be," he said.

"To moving on, then." Pony held the glass up as if giving a toast then drank some, while staring at the room.

"Moving on." Soda echoed, taking the glass and having a sip.

I took the glass from Soda's hand and finished it off. "Moving on." I said solemnly, hoping the ghosts from the past would move on as well.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose

Many thanks to LH-C for the help with the story!


	27. Wedding Day

Chapter 27

**Wedding Day**

XXX

I got the boys home around midnight. Steve and Two-Bit were too drunk for me to bother with so I left them at Bucks with strict instructions they were to be up by six in the morning. I knew Buck would do as I asked, serving liquor to Ponyboy without his knowledge was enough for him to heed my request. But I knew he'd do it anyway. Buck was a friend of Dally's, and Dally was a friend of ours. He'd do it for Dally, just as I wouldn't turn Buck in for the same reason.

"Awww, my head. Where's the aspirin?" Sodapop called as he came stumbling out of the bedroom where I dumped him and Ponyboy last night.

I was already awake, shaved and showered, remembering the old days when the first one in got the hot water. There was a reason poor Pony took his showers at night.

"Aspirin are in the kitchen. You better hurry up. You're gonna be late for your own wedding." The clock said 6:38, the wedding was scheduled for ten that morning. The water turned on and the door shut behind him.

"Anybody call the ladies to make sure they were up?" Pony followed Soda out of the bedroom and sat down, rubbing the fuzz on his chin.

"I did. Shelly's got the women going at Soda's place, she's in charge of the opposite sex. They're gonna meet us at the park when it's time. I called Buck's too. The guys should be headed this way after they stop at Steve's place to get ready first, then we'll all head over to Woodward Park. Here, you need to eat something first. How's your head?"

"Not bad. What did Buck slip me anyway?" He opened the aspirin bottle and shook some out into his hand before swallowing them dry, then ate some of the sausage and scrambled eggs I made earlier. I got up and made him some orange juice, placing the glass in front of him before sitting back down again. "Thanks."

"I don't know, best guess is vodka. How's you guess it was Buck?"

"I never left the bar when Buck gave me the drink, and only Soda was with me. I don't figure he'd screw me like that." Now I just had to figure out who put Buck up to it.

The bathroom door opened and Soda came out wearing just a towel. He went to the kitchen and got a plate and sat down to finish off the eggs and sausage.

"A towel, Soda?" Darry asked in a disgusted tone while looking at him.

"I ain't taking no chances in messing up my clothes," he said between mouthfuls.

I went on in and took my own shower in increasingly cooler water...just like old days. When I came out, the sounds of Two-Bit and Steve could be heard around the house.

"How's your head, Ponyboy?" Steve asked in a low voice. He was smiling in a way that rang out 'GUILTY'.

"**Fine, Steve...how's yours**?" I asked back. He cringed. I knew which of us was worse off.

"Gentlemen, please! The rest of us have a hangover too. Darry...aspirin?" Two-Bit was searching the cabinet. I picked the bottle up and shook it, making Two-Bit turn his head and smile. "Come to papa."

Soda and I went and got dressed in our old room while Darry went to change in his. I hardly even recognized Soda after he finished tying the bow tie. It was still him, but so different too. I couldn't get my bow tie right though, and Soda wasn't getting it either for some reason. Darry was leaning in the doorway, watching us struggle a moment before he came behind me and swatted my hands away.

He still stood taller than me, but not by much. I watched how he flipped and pulled that tie until it was just perfect. "Just like dad did it," he said patting me on the back when he was done. I looked down, dad never taught me that, but it was a perfectly done bow tie. "You look really good, Ponyboy. You too, Sodapop."

We came out of the bedroom and were met by catcalls. They were dressed up too, dress pants and button up shirts, ties included but the regular type, not these fancy ones. Once we had on our suit jackets and black dress shoes, we were ready to go.

"Hold on. Just one minute guys." Two-Bit stopped us. He pulled out a camera and had us stand together. A few clicks later, blinking away the spots from the flash, we headed out the door.

I rode with Darry, Steve drove Soda in Soda's car and Two-Bit followed along behind. It was after nine when we got there. The ladies had already shown up but were nowhere to be found. I knew this only because I recognized Shelly's car in the parking lot. We went inside the conservatory where the staff had decorated the place with flowers and whatever would grow in the Tulsa winter. Cutting to the chase, it looked nice. Really nice.

Tim and Buck were there oddly enough, each dressed in a nice pair of dark pants and white or off white shirts too. A few of the guys from the DX, including Soda and Steve's old boss was in the small crowd that was forming. Two ambulances pulled up, each with a crew of EMT's getting out. I assumed one was Soda's crew and the other was Patty's crew. Another car followed the ambulances and a man I didn't recognize got out, following the EMT's inside. He first went to Steve who shook his hand then pointed in our direction just before coming over.

"Dan Howell, this is Sodapop Curtis. Soda, meet Dan, the chopper pilot from that day in Nam. He's still my boss... sort of." Steve explained.

"Sir, thank you," Soda said.

"You're the one I want to thank. If not for good medics like you, I would've had no live souls to cart out of that jungle. You did one hell of a job. Glad you made it home. Congratulations on finding a worthy lady, Steve tells me she's quite a woman."

"Yes sir, she is." Soda agreed.

Just then, a minister came from a side room. Ashley and Shelly following behind him. Andy came bouncing along too. Folks started taking their seats in the conservatory and it became obvious that more were here than originally expected. Before long, it was standing room only.

"Uh, Darry... what am I supposed to do?" The realization that I had no idea what my job was in this hit me then.

"Stand here by me. Say nothing. Don't move. And for God's sake, don't pass out."

"Good. I can do that," I whispered to him. Darry just smiled.

"Breathe, Ponyboy. This isn't your wedding," he reminded me.

I looked at Ashley, man did she look beautiful. She and Shelly were dressed in identical emerald green satin dresses that fell below the knee. They each held a small bouquet of flowers. I winked at her and she blushed, winking back. The minister took his spot at the center front of the room under this fancy archway thing, and Darry stood on my left and Soda on his left. Andy, Steve and Two-Bit were in the front row, not missing a thing. It took me a moment to realize it, but that's the spot our parents should have taken.

Someone had some music softly playing and when the music changed to the wedding march, the doors opened at the far end of the room, behind everyone either seated or standing up. In walked Patty without anyone to escort her up the isle. It didn't seem to bother her in the least though, but that part just seemed wrong to me. Her face was smiling so I guess it didn't bother her that much. She wasn't wearing a traditional wedding dress, but had on a very pale cream- colored satin and lace floor length gown. Something like what Princess Grace would have worn. She made her way up the isle and stood next to Soda. The music stopped and the minister opened his Bible. Everything got quiet and the minister began.

"Families and friends of the bride and groom, we are gathered here on this day to unite this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. Who here gives this bride away?"

Well that brought the wedding to an early unplanned stop. I watched as Patty looked down and became red in the face. She was about to speak when a saving voice came from the back of the room.

"I do."

Everyone turned to see who it was, and I heard Patty softly say "Mom," under her breath. Andy looked up and stood on his seat next to Two-Bit, waving at her. "Hi grandma!" he called over the crowd. A soft rumble of laughter went through the hall as Two-Bit got him settled back down again. Steve mouthed _sorry _to Soda. The minister smiled, everyone took a breath and on they went.

"The vows taken on this day will serve as witness to all those present for the love these two share for one another, as well as become a solemn promise between the two for their devotion to one another. If anyone present has any reason why this man and this woman should not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

The room was silent. I suddenly smiled, wondering how many blades were concealed under fancy jackets. If Tim was here, there had to be at least one. No one was gonna ruin this for Soda.

"I'll have the groom repeat after me... I, Sodapop Patrick Curtis, take thee Patricia Anne Baxter, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and forsaking all others till death do us part."

Soda repeated his part just as the minister read it to him. By the look on his face, he had forgotten anyone else was here.

"Now I will have the bride repeat after me..."

She said her lines, which were the same as Soda's just reversing the order of the names.

"Rings, please," called the minister. Darry reached into his coat and pulled out a band of gold that he put in Soda's outstretched hand while Shelly placed a gold band in Patty's.

Soda and Patty slid the rings on each others left hands while saying... "with this ring, I thee wed."

"By the power vested in me by the State of Oklahoma, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

After they kissed, a moment lapsed then things sort of got finished. The bridesmaids turned to chat while Darry and Soda hugged, then Soda came to me. "I'm so glad you made it, Ponyboy. Thank you for being here," he whispered in my ear. He broke away to shake the ministers hand before I could say a word.

Soda and Patty were joined by Andy who was now being held protectively in Soda's arms, carefully perched on Soda's hip. A swarm of people came around them to each offer their congratulations. Darry tipped the minister who had some forms for him and Shelly to sign... turns out the ceremony is just show... they aren't married until the minister fills in the official stuff and then two witnesses sign it. Soda and Patty had already signed it earlier. Darry folded it up and put it in his pocket to give to Soda later, then they could take it to the courthouse and have it filed.

"Now what?" I asked Darry.

He looked at me, amused. "There's a reception for them at Patty's EMT station. They have the weekend off then back to work, little buddy. No time off for either of them. She's got nursing school still, so a honeymoon will have to wait. Come on, lets get going."

We all managed to pile into cars for the short trip to the station Patty works out of. Still, only half of the people seemed to show back up. Tim and Buck didn't make it, Steve's friend Mr. Howell didn't show either. Soda and Patty arrived and everyone ate. It was a great day, Soda seemed so happy. Someone turned on the radio and the bride and groom took to the dance floor. Later others joined in. Nothing was organized... just like any other greaser get together... things just happened.

I found Ashley in the crowd and pulled her aside.

"I've been missing you." I said, wrapping my arms around her. "Where'd ya get that dress?"

"They had it for me when I got there last night. Thankfully it fit. I think it's a little tight, but it worked. You, by the way, look great in that suit. How was your evening? Did you have a good party last night?" She asked with laughter in her eyes. "They bring in a stripper?"

I looked at the ceiling, smiling. "No strippers. Just poker and pool. Scouts honor. I only have eyes for you." I bent down and kissed her, gently at first... never wanting to let go. Her response was equal to mine so we stayed like that, embraced in each others arms, toying with each other.

"Damn, I don't want to let you go," she softly said.

I looked at her eyes. "I could always get the phone number of that minister and see if he's still free," I said half jokingly.

"My father would kill you." She remarked while letting go.

"It'd be worth it." I quipped back with an evil grin.

"No, this is their day." She sighed as she turned to look at Soda and Patty, dancing in each others arms. "Three more months, then it will be our turn."

"You are gonna kill me, you know that?"

I could swear I saw fire in her eyes. "It'll be worth it."

XXX

Ash and I were back at Darry's that night looking through photo albums when Soda stuck his head in the door.

"Hey, anyone home?"

"Hey Soda, what's up? Where's your wife?" Darry called from the kitchen. He was reheating some leftovers from the reception for our dinner.

"Andy's exhausted, so she's putting him to sleep. I know you two are leaving in the morning and I had to come see you both before you left."

"Here, " I said, reaching for a card I put on the table. "A wedding gift. Don't say no, either."

"Awww, Pone. You ain't got to do this," he opened the card and my check fell out.

"Buy my sister-in-law some furniture. That should cover it."

"Pony...good heavens.... you sure?"

"Once again, Sodapop, stop looking at the amount. This is a _wedding _gift...you only get one of these. Not like your birthday where you get something every year. Yeah...I'm sure."

"Soda... here's something I think you should have." Darry handed him a box. Soda looked at him confused and opened it. The small gasp was audible. Soda wiped his hands on his jeans and carefully pulled the gift from the box and held it up. Dad's pocket watch. Dad had shown it to me when I was very little, and I vaguely remembered him saying it was made of gold. It was his fathers... our grandfathers, and it still worked when wound up. On the back was our family name... Curtis... inscribed in clear letters. I thought Darry had pawned it long ago when we had very little money and the state was breathing down our necks.

"Didn't you pawn that?" I gasped, accidentally letting that slip out.

Darry rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. Clearly this was something he had hidden for a long time. "Tim met me on the way to the pawn shop. He gave me five times what the pawn dealer was gonna give me, laid the dough in my hands and took off with the watch. The night you returned from Windrixville, Tim came over and left it on my bedside table with a note. Said my debt was paid up and not to lose sight as to what was most important again. I've had it put up ever since. Dad would have wanted the first of his son's to marry to have it. It's your's now, Soda.

Soda's eyes looked at Darry then at me. Neither of us expected to see that watch again. Neither of us ever said a word about the little things that rarely but on occasion disappeared from the house in Darry's efforts to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. It was simply what he had to do, and as long as we stayed together it was worth it.

Soda put the watch back in the box and closed the lid. "Thanks, Dar." He said, but his voice was all jacked up. "I better get on home now. See if my wife needs anything."

"You go on and do that. My door is always open if you need me." Darry patted Soda on the back as he got up.

"See you again soon, Pony." He said pulling me into a hug, then slipped out the door.

XXX

"You sure you want to fly again?" Darry looked at me. They had called our flight and our luggage was already checked onboard.

"No, I don't. But ain't much of a choice, is there? If I don't fly, I'll miss more of class. I cant risk getting any further behind. Besides, Ashley has class too."

"We'll be fine, Darry. Say hello to Shelly for us." Ashley gave Darry a hug and I shook his hand. He pulled me in and clapped me on the back.

"I will, Ashley. You guys have a safe flight home and call me when you get there."

Ashley took my hand and led me down the narrow hall to the plane. I closed my eyes when we made it to our seats. She looked at me as the doors shut and the engines started.

"Three months. Ponyboy. Just three months left."

I concentrated on that, and what would happen when those three months were over. It was the only thing that kept my mind off the flight. Somehow, I even managed to smile.

XXX

Thanks to RileysMomma and Mars for help with this story.

Calla Lilly Rose


	28. Decisions

Chapter 28

**Decisions**

XXX

Darry or Sodapop. Soda or Darry. _Heads it's Darry, tails it's Soda_. I flipped the coin then didn't look. A decision like this deserved more than a coin flip. I put the quarter back in my pocket but the decision still needed to be made. I grabbed my books and headed to class, still not knowing what to do.

The whole way through class it was hard to concentrate and the notes I took didn't make much sense. At least I had the syllabus to refer to in order to see what we were studying this week. One class after another went the same way, and still the decision was killing me. I wanted both my brothers, but couldn't have what I wanted.

That night I was so discouraged at my lack of progress I threw my pencil in my desk drawer and simply stared at the pictures hanging on my study wall.

_Dad, __**you**__ should be here._ I thought as I looked at my parents photos. I sighed, scratching my chin and running my fingers through my hair. Both my brothers meant so much to me, how was I to chose one over the other?

The phone suddenly ringing nearly made me jump out of my skin. The sun had gone down hours ago and the time on the clock said 9:38. Who's calling me this late?

"Hello?"

"Hey Pone. How ya doing, kiddo?" Soda's quiet voice told me Andy was put to sleep.

"Good." I lied. "Just trying to get some studying done. How's everything with you?"

"Tired, as usual. Worked a fourteen hour shift tonight thanks to a crash out on the interstate. Needed extra crew members to handle the load, but it's all cleared up now."

"Patty work the scene too?"

"Yeah, she was out there, but she and I still work for different companies so all I get to do is wave when I see her."

I didn't know what to say after that. I had three text books open that I couldn't get into because I still had to decided the 'Soda or Darry' question. I knew one of them would be hurt, and yet I'd vowed I'd never do anything to hurt either of them again.

"Pony... I can tell when somethings bugging you. What's wrong? Talk to me. You being quiet when so much is happening around you screams volumes to both Darry and me. You haven't called in over a week and you haven't written to anyone. Out with it, or do I need to fly up there? Is Ashley okay?"

"She's fine. I've just been... busy, you know... last term and everything."

Silence.

"Did you lose your contract with one of the illustration jobs... or your second book... that okay?"

Soda was fishing for answers in the wrong lake of problems.

"Everything is fine with my work, Soda. The new illustrations were sent to the author last week, she and her publisher are going over them but I don't expect any issues. That one should be out by summer."

"Ponyboy...what's going on with your wedding then? That's all that's left that I know of... unless the horses aren't doing well."

I sighed. Soda heard it. "Ponyboy, c'mon. Let me help. Just cause I ain't there don't mean I can't help. What ever it is, just tell me."

"Why did you decide to have Darry be your best man?"

"That? Are you mad at me because of _that_? Geeze, Pone. If I'd thought it meant that much to you..."

"No, Soda... Darry deserved to be best man... just _how_ did you pick him?"

He hesitated. "Well, Pony... you weren't here for me to have to chose between you two. And, well, Darry sort of ….. well he....."

"Just say it, Soda."

"Well, Ponyboy, he.. well, he _earned _it, don't ya think? Working two jobs and giving up everything for us.... I felt it was the right place for him."

"It _was_ the right choice, Soda. I ain't complaining." I said numbly. For him, this choice was a no brainer, for me....not so easy.

"Pony, what's that got to do with your wedding?"

He had to ask me point blank. I fiddled with the phone cord, not wanting to say it.

"Ponyboy?" he softly called to me.

"I have to chose between you and Darry and I cant. It's impossible. You both raised me, you both mean the world to me, you both sacrificed your schooling for me... how the hell do I choose one over the other? I didn't expect to be best man for either of you... me being the youngest and all, but, ......" my voice trailed off.

"Pony....is _that_ what's got you all tore up? Look, you won't make either of us upset by choosing the other. We just both want to be there...that's the important thing. Choose who you want. Your decision is fine by me, whatever it is." His voice was nearly laughing.

"You wont mind if I ask Darry then? Not even a little bit?"

"Ponyboy, I think that is a fine thing. I won't mind at all. It's a position of honor, one he's definitely earned. I think Darry would also be honored by your request. How long has this been a burr under your belt?"

"A week," I softly said. He knew me too well.

"And you haven't eaten and are lousing up your schoolwork because of it, aren't you?"

"Well, sort of. I've been eating, just not much."

He sighed. "Ponyboy, don't do this to yourself. You won't hurt my feelings or Darry's by any decision you and Ashley make for your wedding. As long as we get to be there... that's all that matters. Okay?"

"Yeah," I relented. I was glad he called though. Bad blood was something that just didn't run in my family, and I didn't want it to start now. "How's Patty?"

"Tired. Between nursing school and part time EMT work, it's all she can handle. There's light at the end of the tunnel though. She graduates the first week of June from nursing school. You still graduating May fifth?"

"Yep. Just two months away."

"That's a lot going on for you in a short period of time." Soda sounded concerned.

"It is, but one day at a time, Ash and I will get through it. When are you and Darry coming up?"

"We'll be there the forth. I know that's short on time for the graduation, but at we'll be there. Come hell or high water, we ain't missing the first Curtis to walk across a college stage. I know I've told you already, but we're proud of your accomplishments, kiddo. Real proud."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks. I wish I could have seen you get that EMT certificate."

"That was a good day, I'll admit. But what you've done...well, it beats everything. I better get off the phone, Patty's giving me the evil eye. Andy won't sleep if someone's on the phone. You call if you have something to talk about, okay? You ain't alone. We're here for ya, Pone. Anything else bugging you?"

"No, Soda. I think I'll be able to sleep now."

"Good. Love ya, kiddo. Bye."

"Bye, Soda."

I hung up the phone and for the first time in a week, felt relief. Now I just had to find out if Darry was up to the job again. The phone rang at his house for a while with no answer, then I thought better of it. I hung up and called Shelly's place.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Shelly, is Darry there? It's Ponyboy."

There was a muffled sound of the phone being moved about then Darry was on the line.

"Ponyboy? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed to ask you something."

There was a silence before he spoke again, sounding a little unnerved. I wondered what I had interrupted. "Ponyboy, what do you need to ask me at... what time is it? Good grief! 10:16 at night."

I had forgotten the time. Oops. "Well, I just wanted to know if..." I paused, thinking how stupid I was for calling him this late about this.

"Yeah, what?" Now he sounded unnerved and impatient.

"Well, if you'd consider being my best man when I get married. I know it's two months off and you already filled the position for Soda... but it would mean a lot to me."

He sighed and was silent for a very long second. When he came back on, he sounded apologetically nice. "Yes, Ponyboy. I'd be honored to be your best man, but I really thought you'd pick Soda for it. I shouldn't ask, but why me?"

"Because, Darry. You gave a damn. You could have put Soda and me in a home and let the state take care of us, but you didn't. You both gave up everything for me, I know that, but you _chose_ to take us on. You didn't have to. You took on dad's responsibilities and I owe you this in a small way of saying 'thanks'. I already spoke with Soda, he agrees with me. So, you'll do it?"

"I already said I would, little buddy. Now, is there anything else you need to ask me?"

I smiled. "No, that's all. Sorry if I ruined something going on for you."

"Pony, you have always had a unique sense of timing. Goodnight."

"Night, Darry."

I hung up the phone, happy to have that taken care of. Mrs. Benning had been asking me for the name of my best man for a week, and I was glad I could finally give it to her. Tomorrow. It would wait until tomorrow. I was done with the phone for tonight.

I went back to my studies, finally able to concentrate for another half hour before calling it a night.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	29. Regaining Control

Chapter 29

**Regaining Control**

XXX

March 23

I was supposed to be studying for my test, but the small square calender on the corner of my desk kept peeling my eyes from the textbook in front of me. A little over six weeks till graduation and a few more days past that until marriage. Man, the butterflies were flying and every time I really thought about it, I felt like I was gonna puke. Everything was just happening so fast now in stark contrast to the last 10 months, where things just took their time.

It was just last week that I got Darry's nod for best man. Yesterday I went and was fitted for my tuxedo, and Ashley and I are going down for the blood tests tomorrow after classes. After numerous requests from Mrs. Benning for my list of family and friends to invite to the wedding, I was finally able to come up with a list of nine. Nine! Ashley's mother just looked at me, confused as usual, but took the list with a smile. Their list had a hundred and ten people.

"We'll have the invitations ready to mail in the morning, Ponyboy. Are you _sure _this is it? You can invite as many family and friends as you wish, you know. This is your wedding too." She just couldn't understand that the hoods I grew up with weren't necessarily friends. Not that Steve or Two-Bit were hoods...._them_ I considered family, just not related by blood.

"No ma'am, that's it." I said. Besides, I remembered something Mr. Roberts once told me, the wedding _ceremony_ is for the couple, but the _wedding_ itself is for the bride. How true. I went to Ash's house earlier today to finally hand over my list of guests with their addresses on it when I saw their lists of guests, musical selections, menu choices, and seating charts laid out on the counter. Ever since then, my brain has been wrapped around how big a production this was turning into and I haven't been able to breathe right or think clearly since. Good grief... this was a wedding, not a damned coronation!

I looked at my books one last time and gave up. Putting my pencil away, I headed outside to the barn where Zeus came trotting up to me.

"Hey, big guy." I cooed, giving him the carrot I snagged on my way through the kitchen. I was fastening the cinch on the saddle when I noticed his ears turning as they picked up a noise. When I turned to find it, I saw Ashley's car coming up the driveway.

She got out and came over to my side.

"Hey Ash." I wrapped my arms around her. "What brings you out this late in the afternoon?"

"Just needed to get away from the house for a while."

"Want to go for a ride?" I offered her a hand and settled her in the saddle, then straddled myself on Zeus's bare back behind her. She looked at me quizzically.

"Doesn't that hurt?" She asked.

I smiled at her. "As long as you don't put him in a canter, I'll be fine."

Hera was locked in the other paddock so I wasn't worried that she'd get loose. We set out over the grounds not saying much for a while. I could tell she wasn't her usual happy self.

"What's wrong, Ashley?" I gently pried into her thoughts.

"This whole thing has gotten out of hand. Now I can't do anything about it. Soda's wedding seemed so nice, ours will be such a nightmare."

"You still want to marry me?" I asked, nearly afraid of the answer. I shouldn't have been worried.

"Of course I do, Ponyboy. It's just... both my parents have taken over... it's not even my wedding anymore! They have a guest list with at least one hundred people, most of them Dad's co-workers at the college. Mom is planning some massive menu with lamb.... I don't even like lamb!"

She sounded close to tears. I wrapped my arms around her as she loped Zeus along. I figured it was time I stepped into the wedding plans.

"Take Zeus back to his paddock. I need to have a talk with your parents. Do you want to come with me or stay here?"

"I don't want you getting on their bad side.. they like you too much."

As I dismounted then helped her down, I saw the frazzled look on her face. "You are the woman I love and the one I care most about. It's time I had a say in this, this is _your_ wedding... I want you to enjoy it. Now, are you coming with me or staying here?"

"I should go, but I just don't want to."

"Then stay here. I'll be back in an hour or so." I walked her to the house and headed for my car.

XXX

It was dusky when I pulled into their driveway. I knocked, Mrs. Benning answered.

"Ponyboy! Ashley's not here, honey, I think she went to the store."

"She's at my house, Mrs. Benning. Is Dr. Benning in? We need to have a talk."

She looked taken aback, but I stood my ground. "He's in the study, go on in. I'll get you some tea."

I cringed....tea.... uggh. I wasn't here for that battle though. I went to the study door and knocked. I heard him say_ come in_, and went inside.

"Ponyboy! What brings you out this late?" He smiled and came to shake my hand, pointing to a chair by his desk. I didn't sit, figuring I'd be thrown out before getting comfortable anyway. He remained standing too.

"Ashley does, sir. She's upset, and I have a problem with that."

He looked at me, confused. "Go on, son."

"I haven't said a word about anything you and Mrs. Benning are planning for her and the wedding. You are her parents and deserve to enjoy that day too, but things have gotten out of control and now she's not enjoying it one bit. I also haven't said a word because you insist on paying for the whole thing and I didn't feel it my place to complain, but when Ashley comes to me with tears in her eyes at how overblown this whole thing has gotten... well, I have to say something. I'd rather have you and your wife be upset with me than have one tear roll down her cheek at something I can perhaps fix before it gets too late. I'm sorry if I seem rather bull headed right now, but I love your daughter too much to see her hurt on what is supposed to be the happiest day of her life."

He looked at me, then walked over and closed the study door as Mrs. Benning was coming in with the tea. "Not now, Eleanor. Ponyboy and I have to talk."

He came back over and finally sat down on the sofa in his study. He patted the spot next to him, and I relented. He said nothing for the longest time, just looked at the pencil drawing still hanging on the wall I made for them two Christmases ago.

"I'm actually glad you came to me, Ponyboy. I let Eleanor have too much room with the wedding details, that was my fault. As department head, I've been too busy with the college to check on what's going on with the fine details of the wedding. Scheduling and finals aren't just a pain in the student's backsides, you know. They take a toll on the instructors too. What do you think we need to do with the wedding?"

I was actually surprised he asked my opinion. "Filter the guest list, let the lamb live while serving something less ostentatious, and cut out the fluff. Ask Ashley what she wants then listen to her. That idea has always worked for me."

He was silent for a moment. "You know, Ponyboy, I'm glad Ashley met you. I know it took real guts to come here and say that to me. I admire a man who will stand up for his lady, even to his future father- in- law. Now I have to find the same courage to tell Eleanor to knock it off. Have you got any left over courage you're not using?" He said in a half joking tone.

I smiled, relaxing a bit. "I have all the courage in the world when it comes to Ashley, but I'm afraid I can't help you with your wife, sorry."

"Well then, I guess I'll have to find my own. Thanks, son, for telling it to me straight. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to have a chat with my wife. You can tell Ashley her wedding will be back on track when she gets home." He escorted me to the front door. "Good night, Ponyboy."

"G'night, sir." I said as I made my way off the porch steps.

XXX

She was sitting on a porch chair when I pulled up, one of my jackets wrapped around her. I sat next to her, pulling her into my arms so that she nearly lay across me.

"All taken care of. Your wedding is back in your control again." I said, smoothing her hair from her face.

"Seriously?" She asked, looking at me with surprise all over her face.

"I'm pretty sure even the lamb will live, too." I grinned. We sat there in the nighttime darkness for a while, feeling the soft breeze blow across the land, only mildly rustling the new leaves on the trees. The only other sound heard was the occasional hooting of an owl in the distance. I looked down at her and was totally captivated.

She seemed to be studying me, her eyes glowing in the moonlight. I brushed the few strands of hair away and leaned closer to her, impulse guiding me, thought processes gone. My lips brushed against hers, and I felt her hand creep to the back of my neck, pulling me even deeper to her. It was instinct that sent my hands to wander, down her neck and over her shoulder. Her tongue played with mine while my hands found the buttons of her shirt. Sense returned then, and I pulled away.

"Is this what you want to do?" She asked me. God, what a question to ask. The heat burning within me was enough to set the house on fire.

"More than anything. But not now. I won't do this now. You need to go home, study for classes and convince your mother that chicken will be just as good as lamb chops."

She gently ran her fingers through my hair, which did nothing but keep the fires burning, then walked off the porch to her car. I got up and walked to the edge of the steps, watching the brake lights of her car fade in the distance.

My body still ached for hers. Six more weeks. God, that was an eternity.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	30. Invitations

Chapter 30

**Invitations**

**XXX**

The wedding invitation came in the mail today. I opened it as carefully as I could, not wanting any part of it torn.

The Honor of Your Presence Is Requested

At The Marriage Of

Ashley Marie Benning

And

Ponyboy Michael Curtis

On The Tenth Of May

Eleven O'Clock In The Morning

Pembroke Church

107 Magnolia Trail

Pembroke, Montana

It included RSVP's for myself and a guest. I had to have read and reread it half a dozen times over. My baby brother was really getting married. Yeah, we knew this was happening, but unlike Soda's wedding, this was a formal event. Real formal. Church and everything. Just as it should be. _Sigh_, Damn I was happy for him.

The next week, another envelope arrived.

_The Faculty and Staff_

_Of_

_Pembroke City College_

_Announce _

_Commencement Ceremonies_

_For The Graduating Class_

_Fifth Of May_

_Ten O'Clock _

_Cedric Hall_

_Pembroke City College_

_Pembroke, Montana_

Ponyboy's name card was in the slot on the opposite side of the printing. I held onto this one with just as much reverence. Mom and dad's deepest wish finally had come true. One of their kids was graduating from college. Fate took my chance, circumstance took Soda's, but Ponyboy … well, nothing took his. If I could bottle the pride I felt in my chest right now and sell it, I'd be rich.

XXX

"Are you okay?" I asked for the second time today. Shelly looked … awful. I had asked her weeks ago to accompany me to Montana for all of Ponyboy's ceremonies and she seemed fine with it then, but now, well, now she just looked sick. Like she was coming down with the flu. I felt her forehead, but she wasn't warm.

"I haven't flown since the crash, Darry. I'm just a tad nervous, that's all."

Made sense. I'd be apprehensive too if the last flight I was on had crashed. How Ponyboy managed to walk the seven miles from the scene to my house, crossing a major freeway with his backside burned and him in shock ...and still fly down for Soda's wedding not long afterward still amazes me. Kid just never gives up. That and he has nine lives.

XXX

Damn, did I feel like shit. Nerves. Had to be nerves. I packed my bag yesterday, not wanting to deal with it today, but I still spent both mornings hurling my breakfast into the porcelain goddess. I knew we'd be flying my old route. That was making me feel all weird. I was hot and sweaty one minute, then cold the next. I felt closed in, even when no one was around me. And I was bloated._ What a fun_ _week this was gonna be_, I thought sarcastically. At least I packed the supplies. I heard Ponyboy lived out in the country, lord only knew where I could buy what I needed when the time came for it. I could feel the bitchy factor revving up in me now anyway so I knew it wouldn't be long. The only thing I could do was plaster on the smile I had grown so used to wearing while flying, and headed off down the terminal with Darry, his family and their friends.

XXX

The flight was finally over. Andy... well, he didn't enjoy the plane ride... and not to many people enjoyed him either. He tugged on his ears and rubbed them until they were raw, and of course nothing helped. Patty was frazzled, Shelly looked sick, Two-Bit kept sticking his tongue out at him...making _me_ laugh but doing nothing for Andy's situation. Steve looked like he wanted to toss us all out the door in mid flight. Come to think of it, that was the same look from most of the other passengers that flew with us today. Darry just ignored the whole thing. I suppose raising Ponyboy through his teen years made him more able to tune out nonsense noise. I dunno... I was there for part of it.... we were a loud bunch... all of us. I carried him up the ramp into the airport from the plane, he fell asleep only _after_ the flight ended. How ironic.

XXX

"Ready to graduate, Pone?" Soda asked me as he lightly fingered my black graduation cap and gown hanging on a hanger in my study. It was also the first thing Darry was drawn to when he came in the room over an hour ago after our small convoy of rented cars drove in from the airport. Darry had an odd look on his face as he held out the fabric of the gown, but said nothing to me. I assumed he was thinking of the graduation he never had. I still held out hope that one day he would change his mind and apply, but that decision was up to him. He was old enough to know what he wanted.

"Lordy, yes. I've got so much work now that school is actually getting in my way. Three authors to illustrate for, one book cover to do for another company, I'm still trying to get my second novel written, the high school kids have me for their track coach in the afternoons, Hera's vet appointments, and a little issue of my own wedding to deal with.... barely any time to breathe or sleep."

He laughed, turning his gaze from the gown and sat down in a nearby chair. "Well, I'm glad you're keeping busy!"

"Busy ain't the half of it." I said sarcastically. "How's married life treating you?"

"Just fine, Pone. Just fine. Patty's due to graduate from nursing school in June. Her instructors gave her the week off so we could come here but she has to make up the clinical time over the next two weekends after we get back. I just got another raise, so things are going pretty good."

"How about Andy's adoption?" I asked as Darry came back in and settled in the couch next to me.

"We started the paperwork, but it will take a while. Andy's dad was never there, she didn't even list him on his birth certificate. In time it will all settle out."

In the quiet pause that followed, we could hear the guys messing around in the living room and the women chatting away nearby. I turned to Darry, who had resumed his staring contest with my cap and gown.

"How's your job going, Darry?"

I had to nudge him to get his attention. "Hmm? Oh, it's gotten better. There's a boom in the building business in and around Tulsa, so work has been steady."

"And your relationship with Shelly has gone well, I take it?"

_Whoomph_, Darry hit me with a rarely used couch pillow for an answer. I laughed, pushing it away. Now I had his attention.

"Well sorry, but it seems like every time I call you, your always over at her place. I doubt it's because she has better TV reception either. Don't tell me the ice has finally melted off your heart and you're actually in looove." Teasing Darry was surprisingly fun... now that I was bigger, older and had my own home to hide in.

"Kid, I swear, if you don't hush it..I'll...." but I was laughing too hard to hear the end of the threat. Darry knocked me off the couch and was walloping me with the pillow while I was stuck laughing and shielding myself from the painless pillow blows. Soda was laughing too, and when it was over, Darry was red in the face and trying to hide a grin of his own.

"Hey, lookey there... they _do_ know how to behave like children." Two-Bit was standing in the doorway, smiling down at us. Steve just had a satisfied grin on his face.

I got up and held out my hand to give Darry a lift. He looked at me and shook his head before he took it.

"Well, Ponyboy. It's getting late. How bout we go out to dinner then get to the hotel. You have a busy day tomorrow." Soda said, stretching as he got up.

"Yeah, that sounds fine with me."

XXX

The diner in town wasn't busy which was a good thing. We were a large crowd that hit them all of a sudden. I kept snagging glances at Pony all through dinner. He smiled more than I think I've ever seen him, and it wasn't all fake like how he used to be. His eyes were bright and shining, the future would be good to him, much better than his past. He's earned it. I felt Patty squeeze my knee and I looked at her, giving her a quick kiss.

"He seems happy, Soda."

I nodded. "He's got every right to be."

Ashley didn't join us, something about last minute wedding issues. We'd see her tomorrow at the graduation.

"Is anyone staying at my place?" Pony wanted to know.

"No, little man," Darry answered for all of us. "You've got enough on your plate than to have a bunch of folks hanging out at your place getting in the way. But we'll be over bright and early in the morning. Count on it. Graduation's at ten, what time do you need to be there?"

"Nine."

"Lordy that's an early start." Two-Bit shook his head.

"We'll be over around seven thirtyish. That okay, Ponyboy?" Darry asked as we got up to leave.

"Sounds fine. I'll leave the door unlocked, so y'all just come on in."

Pony led us to the hotel in town, and we just about took every room they had. Small town, small hotel. But with graduation ceremonies going on, most places were full with out of town visitors.

"See you in the morning, Pony." I said to him as the three of us walked back down to the parking lot. The rest of our company stayed behind in the rooms to settle in for the night.

"You're gonna look sharp in that fancy graduation gown of yours." Darry added. "I'm glad this is one thing we finally get to see... you, marching across a stage."

"Me too, Darry." Pony stood there a moment, smiling and fiddling with his keys, then started to leave. "See you in the morning." He got in his car and headed out.

"Kid did good, Soda." Darry said, but so softly I was surprised I heard it.

"Yeah he did. Just like we knew he would. Come on. We'll see him in the morning."

XXX

"Pony? You home?" I called in his front door that was, as he said it would be, unlocked. However, there was no answer. "Pony?"

"Maybe he overslept." Steve suggested. Soda headed off toward his bedroom but came back a minute later shaking his head.

"Nope, not there."

"Well, his car's by the house, he's got to be here somewhere. How 'bout the stable... maybe he's feeding the horses." Patty tried.

"Guys, there he is." Two-Bit was looking out the window, where we joined him. Coming up his driveway at top speed was Ponyboy. I forgot... he runs every blasted morning. Even when his schedule is so tight with so much to do, he's still gonna run. Typical.

He charged up the steps of his porch and came in, sweating buckets but smiling just the same.

"Morning everyone. Help yourself if you're hungry.... I'm gonna grab a shower." He headed off down the hall without another word.

"Well...lets go raid the kitchen!" Two-Bit happily headed off with Andy at his heals.

XXX

Ponyboy was walking off to join his classmates as they prepared for commencement to start. Ashley and her mother joined us, her father having had to leave to join the other professors for the processional into the auditorium.

"Come on, we better get inside or there wont be any good seats left." Mrs. Benning directed us to a large area of seats still mostly unoccupied. Nervous energy crept over me, Two-Bit, Steve and Soda were fidgeting out of boredom, Andy looked like he was gonna start fussing, Patty was trying to calm him down and Shelly....well, she still looked … not herself. Still hadn't figured that one out, but then again she was a woman, and certainly old enough to figure out her own issues.

In the time I had to sit here and wait for the commencement to start, I silently thanked my parents that they didn't leave me with a sister to raise through puberty. God only knows how badly I'd have failed at that. Lord, between Soda and his... _experiences_ with Sandy to Ponyboy being so timid he's still a virgin a week before being married, there's no telling where a sister would have landed on the promiscuity scale. Especially around Two-Bit and his mouth. My attention was thankfully averted as the ceremony started.

XXX

The monotony of the many college speeches given at commencement could totally depress any listener into a state of brain failure... if there is such a thing. The students had all marched in, taken a seat and then the boredom began. Speaker after speaker had to put their own two-bits worth in.... and I was getting annoyed. Finally, they shut up and things started moving again. The degrees were given out by academic field, the kid's field.... Language Arts... was gonna be a while.

"Geeze, how much longer?" I mumbled.

"Shut up, Two-Bit," Darry hissed at me in a commanding tone.

I heeded the warning. His brother was finally achieving a goal we _all _had desperately wanted to see him achieve. I wasn't gonna ruin it for them. I sat back and for once in my life, kept my trap shut.

XXX

Finally it was Ponyboy's turn. It took barely ten seconds to go on the stage, get the diploma, turn the tassel and walk off... but those ten seconds took years of hard work and struggle; blood, sweat and tears; heartache and sadness; poverty, death and finally... redeeming salvation to achieve. The only one more proud of him than me at this moment was Darry, as evidenced by the lone tear that fell from his eye that I glimpsed before he wiped it away. I had tears of my own but no one saw them, at least I hoped not.

"Why you cry, Soda?" Andy asked me rather loudly. Drat. Now they all looked. I just hugged him closer and ignored the gang. I felt Darry's strong grip on my shoulder and Patty's hand on my back. Steve knuckled my knee and Two-Bit just kept his camera flashing away as Pony looked in our direction, waved that valued diploma at us and kept going with his class. I'm sure there were a few souls smiling in heaven too.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	31. Rehearsal

Chapter 31

**Rehearsal**

XXX

I stared at the inside of the toilet as my breakfast literally went down the tube. I had the water running in both the sink faucets as well as in the tub, trying to mask the sound of my puking for the second time this week. My head pounded. As I rinsed and spat the last of the vile taste from my mouth I remembered I left my headache pills in my suitcase along with my stuff. I shook my head, not able to figure this out. We had been here for less than three days now, my nervousness from flying _couldn't_ last this long. Damn.... I had to be coming down with the flu. Just what I needed. I shut off all the water and made sure I looked decent enough to come out and finally opened the door.

"Shelly... hon, you okay?" Darry had been waiting for me in the living room of Pony's house.

"I'm fine, I just think I'm coming down with the flu. Where's everyone else at?" I looked around because it was oddly quiet in the house.

"Out at the stable. Pony's mare is pregnant and besides, Andy wanted to see the horses." He followed me into the kitchen as I randomly started searching the cabinets for a phone book. "Whacha looking for?"

"Phone book, he's got to have one around here somewhere. I ain't gonna go through the rest of this week feeling like crap. I figure while you and everyone else goes to the rehearsal, I'll slip over for a fast doctor's appointment and start taking whatever pills the doc can give me so I can get better."

He came over and put his hand on my forehead, a concerned look on his face. "You don't feel hot," he said as he wrapped me in his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder appreciating his concern.

"Well, I still don't feel well, so I think I'd better go. Don't say anything to the others...please? I didn't come here to spoil everyone's fun."

"Phone book's in his study. Come on, I'll show you."

I'd been in his brother's study once or twice already since we arrived... but I felt so out of place here. The walls and cabinets were adorned with family pictures... his brothers in various stages of growing up, candid shots of the three of them as well as several single shots. Soda's military picture was there along with his wedding photo. Their parents pictures had their own spot too, featuring an extremely well done hand drawing of them Ponyboy had apparently sketched from memory. Darry glanced at that drawing every time he came in here.

"Is the likeness that off?" I asked as he looked again at the framed drawing.

"No, it's perfect. What gets me is that it's from _memory._ Flawless. Down to the scar on mom's thumb and the wrinkles on dad's wrist. He put real effort into this one." Darry turned to the desk and pulled out a phone book then turned the seat to me. "He won't mind. Have a seat and make your appointment. I'm gonna go see what everyone else is up to. Join me when your ready." He kissed me and headed out the door.

Finally alone, I searched the book, found some listings and started calling.

XXX

"Andy, you hold on!" Patty was calling to our son, but I wrapped my arms around her.

"He's okay. Ponyboy wont let anything happen to him. Watch and trust him."

"I _do_ trust your brother... but Andy's never been on a horse before, Soda. He could fall.. he could..."

"Ponyboy _has_ him. Stop fussing." I laughed a little while holding her closer. Patty was such a worry wort for Andy. I watched as Pony had one arm protectively around Andy as he held him in his lap while they both sat in the saddle. Zeus looked so bored, his strong muscles visibly twitching to run but held to a snails paced walk around the enclosed paddock. Andy was squealing with delight, patting Zeus's neck and running his hands through the few strands of course mane that he could reach. A visibly pregnant Hera looked on from the opposite paddock.

"Dis is a pony!" Andy yelped, pointing to the horse.

Pony just nodded as they came back around. "Yep. And my _name_ is Ponyboy."

I looked at the sky and shook my head.... he was still trying to get that into Andy's head.

"Here ya go, Patty." Pony handed Andy down and looked at me. "Open the gate for me, will ya, Soda?" I knew what he was gonna do, so I opened the gate and held Patty back as Pony bolted from the paddock like a bullet from a gun.

"Wha hoo... Ride 'em, Ponyboy!" Shouted Two-Bit from the top of the railing around the paddock.

"He's off again, huh?" Darry sidled up next to me, watching as Pony disappeared over the small hill around his house.

"Like we didn't see that coming." Steve's sarcasm was audible, but he was smiling too.

"Mommy... where the horsie go?" Andy looked bewildered, but Patty put her finger to her lips to shush him.

"Listen." We all got quiet as we heard the pounding of horse shoes approaching around the far side of the property.

"There he is." I pointed as Ponyboy brought Zeus back around the house. He slowed as he got nearer and trotted back in the gate then dismounted. Once we saw Pony riding back, Patty took Andy back to the house, leaving just us guys at the paddock.

"Have fun?" Darry asked.

"Oh yeah. Zeus likes that, doncha big guy?" Pony said while scratching Zeus's neck and patting him. He took the reigns and led him over to the barn, removing the saddle and stowing them away. I watched as he checked on Hera and made his way back to us.

"Where's Shelly?" Pony asked.

"Inside making a phone call." Darry answered.

"She okay?" I asked him and he nodded back.

"Thinks she's got the flu, hasn't been feeling well lately. Don't mention it to her that I said anything though, she doesn't want to ruin your week." He said looking over at Ponyboy.

I looked at Steve and Two-Bit as they quickly exchanged glances, Two-Bit nearly falling off the fence in the process. Darry didn't see anything as they were behind him.

"Hey Darry?" Shelly called from the porch and Darry turned to go to her.

I went over to where the guys were still perched on the fence and looked up at Steve. "I got five bucks says she is," he said, holding out the money to me.

"Me too, here's my five." Two-Bit was in complete agreement. They both looked like they were gonna fall off the fence with excitement.

I looked back at Darry's retreating backside and shook my head. Considering how he's nagged me since the first time I mentioned Patty's name, he wouldn't be that careless. He _couldn't _be.

"I'll take that bet. No way. Not _ever-so-careful_ Darry." I took the money and put it away.

"What's the bet on?" Ponyboy came over.

"If Shelly is or isn't." Steve said with no further explanation necessary.

"What makes you guys think she is?" Pony asked, looking over at Darry and Shelly talking on the porch. "Remember, I ain't around her as much like you guys are."

"She looks more swollen compared to how she usually looks, and she's been puking for days." Two-Bit explained.

"Plus she's getting a tad perky up top." Steve added, high fiving Two-Bit with his comments, finally causing Two-Bit to fall from the railing.

"They been together since October, right?" Pony looked at me, and I nodded.

He smiled and reached into his pocket and also handed over five bucks. "Count me in. She is."

I just dropped my mouth. I never thought Pony would say that.

XXX

The wedding rehearsal was interesting. Steve and Two-Bit took off to harass the fine citizens of Pembroke, while Soda, Darry and I went to meet the rest of the wedding party at the church. Patty took Andy to Cedarwood Park to play, and Shelly went to the clinic for her …um... flu appointment.

We stumbled, forgot our places, and got so twisted up in details I didn't know how this was gonna go off without a major failure of some sort, but then the minister took me aside.

"I've married hundreds of couples.. the rehearsal is designed for all the mess-ups. Everything will be fine, young man. Have faith, son." He smiled at me then walked away. I was still in semi-panic mode thinking of all the ways this could go so wrong when strong hands gripped my shoulders, nearly scaring me half to death. I felt like I was fourteen again and the soc's were after me.

"Breathe, Ponyboy. Just breathe." Darry was looking in my eyes and I nodded, finally taking a gulp of air. "You forget that and pass out... you'll never live it down. Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

XXX

The night of the ninth, Darry and Soda basically kidnapped me. They came over to my house and found me in the kitchen, cooking dinner for everyone. Instead, Darry grabbed me, tossed me over his shoulder...then proceeded to cuss a blue streak in the process for how much muscle weight I'd put on. Soda put a pillow case over my head and held the door open for him as they hauled me out of my own house. I didn't fight it too much, not wanting to hurt Darry's back, but did manage to shout out to please turn off my stove so my house didn't burn down while they shanghaied me to destinations unknown.

"I have to live here, you know! My house had better be standing when I get back!" I said through the pillowcase.

"Shut up, Ponyboy," Darry said. I grinned hearing him struggling to carry me. Serves him right for always wanting me to eat when I was younger. Finally he put me down in the backseat of the car Soda was renting and shut the door. After I heard the engine start and felt the car turn on the blacktop, I asked if I could take off the silly pillowcase. It was pulled off for me.

I saw Soda in the backseat next to me and Darry and Steve in the front. Only one moron was missing.

"Cute... very funny. Where's Two-Bit?" I asked while trying to fix my hair.

"He's at the secret location," Soda said with a grin.

I groaned. I hoped they weren't planning to get me drunk and prayed they hadn't hired a stripper. Not that there were any in Wolf Creek... at least I hoped to high heaven there weren't. I looked at Soda.

"_Please_ tell me you four haven't done something I will regret trying to remember later." He only laughed and ruffled my hair, messing it up again.

Twenty minutes later, Darry pulled up... of all places.... at Tina's Bar and Grill. It was the closest thing you could get in this area to a roadhouse like Bucks is back in Tulsa. "How the hell did you find this place?" I asked getting out of the car. I had never mentioned Tina's in any call, letter or conversation in the past.

"We had help, Ponyboy," Steve said.

_Help from who_? I wondered.

Walking in, I understood. Everyone I knew was here, and I mean everyone. Mr Roberts, my first landlord; Mr. Quinn, the first author I illustrated for; George, the post office clerk; Mr. Devers, the head coach at the high school... _everyone_. People I've met or seen nearly every day of my lonely life the first year I lived here had shown up - well, the men anyway. Most of whom I didn't even think knew the full circumstances of how I got to be here or the lies I endured to stay. I had tried to be so inconspicuous that they didn't even notice me. Lordy, I hoped I wasn't going to spend the whole night explaining my life to the town. It'd be easier to take out a full page ad in the newspaper, which I was sure I would be allowed to read as I sat in the county jail for least a minimum charge of forgery, if nothing else.

As I crossed the threshold into Tina's, the room looked to me and an assortment of cheers and applause went up. I felt my face go hot as I had to have turned every shade of red that existed on the spectrum. Two-Bit was at the bar, looking my way as I came in and held up his beer in salute. I nodded at him and he smiled back. Next to him, of all people I _never_ expected to see, was Tim Shepard. Glory hallelujah, what was he doing this far out of his territory?

"Congratulations, Ponyboy!" Some said to me, others patted my back as I made my way through the crowd to a seat at a table... obviously decorated for me. Condoms were blown up like balloons and were taped all over the place, but at least twenty adorned one particular chair near the center of the room. Good God... how embarrassing.

"Who's flippin' idea was this?" I hollered at Darry over the noise around me.

"Well, Ponyboy, everyone sort of put their own idea in." Darry shouted back.

"Who gathered the town?" I called again. Shit, he was sitting right next to me, but with the jukebox going and everyone being loud, no one could hear a thing. Two major reasons why I don't come here. I was gonna need headache pills just to be able to think straight again. Soda and Steve sat down on the other side of me while Two-Bit and Tim found their way to Darry's side of the table. Steaks and beverages of all types started pouring out of the kitchen being served to anyone sitting down.

"That was a collaborative effort between me and Dr. Benning, who managed to get Mr. Roberts in on it. No more questions... enjoy yourself."

"Who's idea was the rubbers?" I asked, refusing to be shut up. Darry nearly spewed his drink laughing so hard.

"That one you will have to thank Steve and Two-Bit for. I hope you have your own supply, Pony.. cause I swear, I doubt there's any left for purchase in town."

"Amen to that!" Steve announced.

"Hell, just deflate them.... they're still good!" Two-Bit said, cocking his eyebrow. That idea repulsed me, but I had to laugh.

The evening was actually fun. Once I got over the idea of being surrounded by hundreds of blown up condoms, it was like a regular party. Periodically, people in the crowd came up to wish me either their congratulations for graduating college or offered their good luck on my marriage. It was a blast. As the evening wore on, folks started to head out. Finally it was just the six of us there, including Tim.

"You didn't really think I was gonna miss this, now did ya?" he asked, sipping on a beer. "Knowing someone from the East Side not only made it out, but made it out big. Had to see it for myself. You're one of a kind, kid. Here, got you a present." He shoved a small box across the table at me, and I tentatively took it. I looked at it, then back at him. No one else at the table gave any indication they knew what it was either. "It ain't a bomb. Go on, open it."

I lifted the lid and carefully pulled out the heavy silver chain holding a silver class ring and a vaguely familiar St. Christopher medallion. I knew who's they were, but had no idea how in hell he got them. They were on Dally when he died. The 'gift' got everyone's attention. Darry suddenly didn't look so happy and Soda had a look of apprehension on his face. Everyone else went from a slouch to sitting upright, concern everywhere. The looks everyone had told me no one knew Tim was going to do this, and obviously no one liked it. I understood why, getting over Dally and Johnny took years, now Tim just dumped it on me again. I gulped and looked at Tim.

"He respected you. Knew you were destined to go places, and therefore fought like hell to keep you out of trouble. He had nothing else to his name, and I think he'd have wanted you to have those."

"How'd you get them?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. The sickening thought of his boys at the cemetary with shovels kept warping through my mind.

"I've had them since that night. I know people who know people. My connections go far and deep, kid, or have you forgotten? Anyway, time they went to someone who he'd have wanted them to go to instead of sitting around in my drawer. That'd be you. St. Chris.... Patron Saint of travelers. I'd say you traveled far enough to earn it."

I smiled, putting Dal's necklace back in the box. "Yep, Tim... I'd say I have. Thanks."

Darry and Soda relaxed again. Time moves on.

XXX

Per the book, Dally had a class ring that he "rolled a drunk senior to get," and the movie version that ignores the ring but has Johnny mention the St. Christopher charm on his necklace. I just wanted something from Dal to go to Pony. I debated a few hours about adding this in, knowing Tim would have to give it to him. I hope you, the reader, can accept this. Thanks for your support!

Calla Lilly Rose


	32. With This Ring, I Thee Wed

Chapter 32

**With This Ring, I Thee Wed**

**XXX**

The guests were coming in and taking seats all over the church. I was sweating buckets, nervous as hell. The whole gang was with me in a back room of the church, and I paced the room like a drug addict searching for a fix. I could_ not_ settle down. I wiped the sweat off my forehead for yet the sixth time. Soda finally came over and had me sit down on a bench, taking a seat for himself in front of me so that we faced each other. He looked worried.

"Good lord, Ponyboy.... what's got you so jumpy?"

My hands shook so bad I couldn't hold still. He put his hands over mine and held them and I leaned over putting my forehead on his shoulder, trying to relax. "Damned if I know." I mumbled, not looking up.

"Wedding night jitters shouldn't hit you till later," he said with a devilish smile on his face.

"It ain't that," I said softly. In truth, I didn't know what it was that had me so fluttery. Suddenly, my stomach turned and I bolted for the trashcan. It was that or the floor. Soda skidded to a halt next to me, holding me up with one arm while rubbing his other hand over my sweat soaked back in circles, like he used to a long time ago. It helped... some. Finally the retching stopped and I stood up.

Darry came over with a cup of water. "Swish and spit, Pone."

I did as he commanded, then took the towel Darry held out to me. Thankfully, I hadn't screwed up my tux. My jacket was still hanging on a hook by the wall with the others. I looked at my brothers, feeling embarrassed and almost defeated.

"Have you changed your mind about all this?" Darry asked me. "It ain't too late, ya know."

I stood taller without intending to. "Hell no!" I said.

He put his hand on my shoulder and turned me back toward the bathroom. "Good, now go brush your teeth. The smell of vomit on your breath is no way to kiss your new bride. Hurry up. Two-Bit, go with him."

"Come on, kid. Lemme tell you about the red head I met back home who has amazing talents with her tongue...."

XXX

"What's wrong with the kid?" Steve asked me.

"Nerves," I answered. I watched Pony and Two-Bit head down the short hall and hoped Two-Bit would amuse him long enough to get his mind off the wedding. Well, at least for now. I looked at the puke then covered the can with a towel. Steve opened a side door letting fresh air in, and I sat the towel covered can outside. Darry had gone to check on the schedule and came back with the minister. Ponyboy then came back with Two-Bit, looking somewhat better. At least he had color on his face again.

"Ready, son?" the minister asked.

"Ready, sir." Ponyboy answered. I took his tux jacket and helped him in it, Darry straightened out his tie, and the five of us went down the small hallway to the entryway into the front of the church. Pony took his place on Darry's left, I stood on Darry's right and the minister took his spot. Steve and Two-Bit found seats next to Shelly and Patty in the front pew. Andy was being kept in the playroom with other children from the wedding party. A very faint nod was given from the minister and the wedding started.

Music was played on the church piano as the doors opened and the bridesmaids came up the isle in dresses made of sapphire blue satin carrying bouquets of tulips and lily's. They took their spots opposite us and waited. The music changed to the wedding march and all heads turned as the doors opened in the rear of the church and in walked Ashley on her father's arm.

Pony's face went from being nervous to the point of passing out to total calm. Just as I had experienced just three months ago, I think tunnel vision hit him. It didn't matter if a stadium's worth of people were in the room, once the love of your life shows up, nothing else mattered.

XXX

My heart skipped a beat when the doors at the rear of the church opened. I heard the music change to the wedding march and everyone looked, but my view was best. It seemed she floated on her fathers arm all the way up the isle to where we were standing, waiting for her. A veil floated over her hair and down her back, her floor length white satin -and -lace wedding dress beaded with tiny pearls that extended down a scalloped train at least four feet behind her. It was an off -the- shoulders style dress, the only piece of jewelry adorning her neck being the ruby and pearl necklace I'd given to her the first Christmas after we met. She hadn't forgotten the pearl earrings either, they were there, poking out from behind the cascades of softly curled hair that gently fell around her shoulders. She was almost next to me when the minister broke into my thoughts calling out....

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Dr. Benning looked in her eyes, and said simply, "Her mother and I do." He kissed her cheek and placed her hand in mine, and I led her the last step to the alter. He took his seat by his wife, who I noticed had a handkerchief in her hand, dabbing at her eyes. I turned to the minister, but I really couldn't tell you what he said. I was there, but my mind wasn't. I held Ashley's hand, my thumb making slow continuous circles on hers. Otherwise, I'm sure if I didn't do that, I'd have passed out for sure. She held my hand just as tightly.

Prayers were said by the minister, music was played, another Scripture reading about commitment of two souls coming together as one. Finally, he had us turn to each other and got to the nuts and bolts of the thing.

"If there is anyone present who has just cause for this couple to not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

No one said a word.

"Do you, Ponyboy Michael Curtis, take this woman, Ashley Marie Benning, as your lawfully wedded wife? To love and to cherish from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, till death do you part?"

"I do."

I wasn't even sure I'd said it. Guess I had, he moved on to Ashley's turn.

"And do you, Ashley Marie Benning, take this man, Ponyboy Michael Curtis, to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love and to cherish from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, till death do you part?"

She smiled at me, squeezing my hand ever so slightly.

"I do."

"Rings, please."

I looked over at Darry, he had an affectionate smile on his face as he handed me the white- gold ring, channel set with seven diamonds inside the band. It matched her engagement ring perfectly. I slid it on her finger and remembered the words I thought I'd forget.

"With my heart, I pledge my love to you. With this ring, I thee wed."

She slipped a matching band with three large channel set diamonds on my own left hand and said the same to me. Until now, I hadn't seen the ring she had picked out for me, and likewise she hadn't seen the band I had for her.

"You may now kiss the bride."

I held her close to me, dipped my head and felt her soft lips on my own. We lingered a second longer, then broke away. I squeezed her hand and she reciprocated. This was a church after all, respect was due.

We turned back to the minister, who now spoke louder.

"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I have the honor of presenting Mr. And Mrs. Ponyboy Curtis."

Music burst out and Ashley and I headed down the isle as a married couple. Darry and Soda and the bridesmaids followed. There was a receiving line as we shook hands with everyone as they made their way out of the church. Some headed off to the formal reception held at the college sponsored by Dr. Benning and some of the other professors. There were no classes being held so the banquet hall was available. Other guests just went on their way. Once Patty came up, I knew that was the last of the wedding guests.

"Congratulations, Ponyboy. I'm happy for you." Darry quietly said to me as he hugged me, patting me on my back.

"Welcome to the married man club, Ponyboy." Soda said as he too wrapped himself around me.

Steve and Two-Bit shook my hand too. They looked good in their suits. I hoped they owned them, they could use a few nice things in their lives.

The photographer was next on the to-do list, but he took a while to get started. While we hung out, Shelly disappeared to make another phone call. I looked at Steve and Two-Bit, the three of us smiling because we had a strong assumption as to what was going on. Soda was still trying his best to not give in to it and Darry absolutely had no clue. The photographer finished just as Shelly joined us outside, and I happened to notice the look on her face was one of awe. _ Ahh_, I thought, _the plot thickens_! Finally they all got in their cars and headed to the college while my bride and I rode together in a limo.

The reception was as expected... decked out to the hilt. Flowers, balloons – the real kind, not like what the guys did to me last night. As requested, the menu was changed to chicken, shrimp or beef. Half way through the meal, Dr. Benning rose from his seat and tapped his glass with a fork to get everyones attention. Oh yeah, toasts to the bride and groom. I forgot.

"When my daughter met this young man almost a year ago, I could tell there was a spark between them. But as any father would be... I was protective of my little girl. When he asked my permission to take her to the movies, I took a chance that the fine young man in front of me would treat my daughter like a priceless work of art. As you all know, he's an artist, so I knew he understood my meaning." A low rumble was heard... man I wanted to crawl under the table. "He's never given me cause to distrust him, so when he asked me for her hand in marriage, I knew there would be no better suitor for my Ashley. Welcome to our family, Ponyboy. Many happy years to you both." He raised his glass and swallowed, everyone in the room following suite.

Eh gads... Darry's turn. I hoped Two-Bit didn't help him.

Darry stood up and cleared his throat, obviously stalling and looking like he really didn't want to do this. But he did.

"First off, Ponyboy's my brother, not my son. I had to step in to the shoes of parent as our own parents were tragically taken when he was only thirteen years old. I had the rebellious teenage years of his life, and he lived up to that notion quite well. Today he married the woman who will see him through the rest of his life. God help her in that task." Another small ripple of laughter went through the room as Darry smirked at me. "I've managed somehow to do what our parents would have wanted done, with no guidebook to show me how. I'm sure they would be just as proud of him as I am, and would welcome his new bride into the family as much as we welcome our newest sister-in-law. She's a wonderful young woman. Congratulations to you both." He raised his glass, drank and sat down.

Slow music started, signaling the "first dance" and Ash looked desperately at me. I remembered from the prom how badly we dance... but this was yet another formality. I didn't want to do this either, but I took her hand and started to lead her out to the empty dance floor, pausing a moment between Two-Bit and Steve.

"Laugh at us and I'll suddenly develop a fighting ability you never thought possible," I whispered so low that only they heard.

I took her hand in mine and took a deep breath, finally just going with the music. She followed along and for a while, we were the only two out there. Then Dr. and Mrs. Benning came out, Soda and Patty joined in then Darry and Shelly too. Other couples came and soon we were lost in the mix.

"Lets get off this floor," she murmured. I nodded. Taking our seats, I watched Shelly and Darry dancing. They were talking, but I couldn't hear them. Two-Bit came over and sat next to me. Steve had gone off to dance with one of the bridesmaids that had been giving him the eye since the wedding ended.

"What do you think she's saying?" he asked me.

"Dunno. Can't read lips when the owners are dancing on the floor."

I had been watching Shelly closely. She definitely seemed bothered by something. I gave up watching them, realizing I had someone else more interesting to be with and turned my attention to my wife. Whew... that's a new concept to get my head around. I leaned over to her and waited... finally she saw me and turned her head.

"What?" she seemed surprised.

"Come here." I said. She leaned over to me, thinking I was gonna whisper something, but instead I nuzzled her lips with mine. Her hand softly went to my cheek and I gave her the kiss I wanted to give her at the church... but too afraid I'd be damned to hell for it. My tongue found hers and I enjoyed that sensation for a while. I could tell she did too. As she broke away, her face was flush. I smiled. No more rules. No more restrictions.

The formal reception eventually winded down. The leftovers were packed up and divvied out between her parents car and mine. The wedding cake, or what was left of it, was disassembled and also put in my car. Only my brothers, our gaggle of friends, and her family proceeded on to my house.

Once there, I changed out of the tux and put on comfortable clothes. Ash went with her mother to a guest room to get out of the wedding dress. I let them have that time. I knew if that dress got messed up, I'd never hear the end of it. Besides.. I wasn't even sure _how_ to get her out of that dress without tearing it. She came out looking much more comfortable in her skirt and blouse.

The men all took off their jackets and shoved the ties in the pockets. Finally, everyone seemed to relax.

I spread the food out on the counter and had plates and cups set out for anyone who hadn't fully stuffed themselves by now. Even Two-Bit seemed filled, a rarity.

"Where are you two going on your honeymoon?" Dr. Benning asked.

Ash looked at me. It was a surprise that I hadn't told her about. I went to the study and got the tickets... they were wrapped up, and I handed them to her. She opened them while we all watched.

"Hawaii? Ponyboy? Really? Hawaii!" Her eyes lit up and voice was near squeak pitch.

"I take it that's a good choice?" I asked. I had asked her father weeks ago about places Ashley wanted to visit, and he mentioned Hawaii and France. Well, France was a bit much for me, but I thought I could manage the trip to Hawaii. He told me she's been wanting to go there ever since it became a state. Flying was my one problem with the whole trip. I dreaded it but I'd do anything for her. I knew I'd have to fly to get there.... hopefully I'd be able to go through with it next week. As long as I didn't look out the windows.... Why couldn't she have wanted to go see the Grand Canyon? I'd happily descend the slopes of the largest hole in America on the back of a narrow backed donkey rather than fly over open ocean, but that's not what she wanted. So Hawaii... here we come. Gulp.

She wrapped her arms around me, smiling those big hazel eyes my way. "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii!"

Things settled down as her parents chatted about stuff. I got up to get a drink and Soda and Darry followed me.

"Pony, we want to give you something in private, but we're running out of private time with you." Soda said. I looked at them.

"Hell, Soda, all you had to do was say something. Come on." I led the way to the study, shutting the door behind them.

They sat on the couch and I pulled up a chair.

"Here, this is by all rights yours." Soda handed me a box. I opened it, taking out grandpa's gold watch. The same watch Darry gave to_ him_ three months ago.

"I don't understand." I said puzzled.

"This was meant for you to have. Not me. I was honored to get it, really, I was..." he looked at Darry, obviously they had discussed this since his wedding. "... but we both agree that dad would have wanted you to receive it. I can't keep it. I won't take it back. You and dad didn't get as much time together as Darry and me, and I know nothing can change that, but dad would have wanted you to have it. I know how much this means to you, Pone. I saw it in your eyes when Darry handed it to me. It's yours now. Don't say no."

I looked at him. Grandpa's watch. Dad's watch. I _did_ want it, but never had the temerity to ask for it. I always felt it was Darry's to do with as he pleased, then when I thought he pawned it... well, I didn't need to think of it anymore. Then Soda had it. I was at least grateful it was back in Curtis hands, even if those hands weren't my own. Soda could always read me. He knew how much this meant to me.

"Are you sure?" I asked, having to clear my throat first, a dead giveaway how much it meant.

"Yeah, Pone. Positive," he said.

I clamped the watch in my hand and stood up, pulling him to me. This was a gift that could never be replaced.

"And don't go thinking you're just gonna pass it on to me if I ever get married either. That stays in your house, to give to your.... um.... look, just keep the watch, okay Ponyboy?" Darry said.

"Yeah, Darry. I will." I said.

A knock on the door was heard.

"Come in!" I called.

Shelly poked her head in. "Hey guys. Mind if I borrow Darry for a minute?"

I wiped my eyes and looked at Soda. His eyes were twinkling at me. I hid my own smile and followed him out of the room. Time for their own coming to terms.

Thankfully my in-laws and wife had gone out to check out the sunset. Patty and Andy were over at the stables. It was just us. Two-Bit and Steve crept down the hall to stand with us still as statues in silence as we tried to listen in on a conversation we weren't invited to hear.

I had built the house too solid, as very little discernible speech could be gathered. They were in there a while, murmurs coming out between the cracks. Then suddenly, clear as day, Darry's voice ripped right through the wall.

"Pregnant? What do you mean you're pregnant?"

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


	33. Darry's Situation

Chapter 33

**Darry's Situation**

**XXX**

Collectively we gasped. It was audible, barely... but still audible. I looked at Soda who looked at me, neither of us able to say a word. I held out my hand and mouthed _Pay Up_, but he shook his head at me, waving my outstretched hand away. I'd get the dough later. Two-Bit and Steve had the same look of delighted shock on their faces, even quietly whacking knuckles seconds after Darry's voice blasted through the door. Darry had managed to do what the rest of us had managed _not_ to do with our girlfriends.... and even though I _had_ bet that he had gotten her pregnant, I still couldn't believe he'd actually _done_ it.

Darry, after all, was the one who nagged Soda to death about being careful. Always telling him to not be stupid about being with girls. It had been embarrassingly annoying for me to hear Darry stay on Soda's case so much about it when we were younger - especially after the Sandy fiasco, and even with her he _had_ used protection. She was the one who screwed around on him and got herself in trouble. I'd learned more from witnessing that than all the nagging Darry ever did with me. Not that he was on my case much. It was one reason I hadn't dated until I met Ashley, one of a long list of reasons.

The room was quiet now. Two-Bit and Steve crept back down the hall to the kitchen and Soda and I just looked at each other, too stunned to move. The door opened suddenly and Darry faced us, turning a few shades of red in an instant. Behind him was Shelly, holding his hand.

"You heard, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yeah." We nodded our heads like little kids do.

"Good. I ain't got to break it to you then."

"Are... um, are congratulations in order, then?" Soda looked at Darry, unsure of their plan.

"We're still figuring this out, Soda," Shelly said, looking at Darry.

Their expressions were mixed. She looked happy but scared, Darry looked... well, as frightened as I have ever seen him. Shocked. However, he held her hand in his and nodded his head.

"We'll do whatever you want to do. You won't go through this alone. I promise you that."

"Come on, Pone. Lets go."

I was pushed out of my own house by Soda as Darry and Shelly went off toward a guest room to talk. It was the same room where Ash's wedding dress hung.

"Whaddya think they're gonna do, Soda?"

He looked at me, shrugging his shoulders. "For once, kiddo, I ain't got a clue."

Laughter came from the hill as Andy tried to catch a ball from Ashley. He was all smiles when Soda came into view.

"Did ya see me? I catched it! Well, not every time, but I catched it! I did... did you see me?"

"I'm proud of you, Andy." He tossed Andy in the air and caught him, then set him back to toss the ball to him. Ashley's parents – my in-laws, had gone back to the house to unload some of her boxes from their car. This was her home now. My home. Our home.

Ashley came and wrapped her arms around me. The sunset was all but gone, and we watched the fireflies start to flutter about.

"We're gonna get married." A soft voice came from behind me in the darkness.

I turned around to see Darry's arms around Shelly. They both looked happy.

Suddenly they had everyone's attention - well, except for Andy. He was off chasing bugs.

"You all know, so there's no point in hiding it. We're going to have a baby, and I'm going to do what's right. Besides," he looked her in the eyes now, "I do love her, just needed some encouragement to get me to realize that. No bigger encouragement than your own child telling you to get your ass in gear."

Ashley looked at me. Okay, so not _everyone_ here knew. I didn't know if Patty knew either. "I'll explain it later." I whispered to my wife.

"I think I can figure this one out," she softly said back to me.

"Congratulations!" Ashley said as she and Patty hovered over to Shelly. Like a swarm of bees, they carried her off toward the house, leaving the five of us behind.

We took a few steps closer to Darry, making it easier to talk to him and see him. It was getting really dark outside. We could still hear Andy, but seeing him was also getting harder.

"Don't say it, please just don't say it." Darry shook his head, running his fingers through his hair.

"Don't say what, Dar? Be careful? Use protection? Or, if she tells you she's on the pill, don't trust her? Which one of your own commandments did you forget?" Soda was smiling, but the tone of disbelief was there.

"Give him a break, Soda. Darry's old enough to know what he wants." I clopped Darry a half -hearted bicep chop which he quickly head-locked me for. His reflexes were still sharp.

"I raised you two monkey's alone. I think I can raise my own son."

"Or daughter," Two-Bit added. We all smiled. Now we had something new to bet on.

"Besides, you won't be alone. You'll have Shelly," I reminded him.

"And us, " Soda nudged my arm as I nodded my head in agreement.

"And don't forget, a few extra unrelated brothers standing by in the wings too," Two-Bit added, with him and Steve coming up behind me and Soda.

We've been a family of sorts as long as I can remember. Long before our parents died. When the good times were here, we laughed and enjoyed them. When the bad times came, we stuck together and endured. When desperation and tragedy found us, we held on to each other even tighter. If one of us went down, the others huddled to protect. It was our way. Nothing would get between us and the one in need, no matter who that was or where they were. Now Darry needed us, and we were there for him. Our family was tight. We each depended on that, and kept it that way.

We headed up to the house, Darry now being next on the marriage list. I looked up into the night sky. The stars twinkled brighter than I've ever seen them. Other souls in the universe knew too, they always kept silent tabs on us. We'd never been left alone, no matter where we were.

"Here," Two-Bit handed me a box just as Darry and Soda went inside.

"Congratulations, kid. Don't use these up all in one night." Steve laughed. I didn't need to open the box. His hint told me what they were.

"Geez, thanks, guys. How thoughtful!" I smirked. Steve clopped me on the shoulder and Two-Bit gave me a one- handed hug, then turned and headed out to their car.

Inside the house, the women were all over Shelly, happy tears in each of their eyes. I shook my head. I was gonna have to get used to this. There was a lot I was gonna have to get used to, and I looked forward to every lesson.

"Come on, Patty," Soda looked at me and his face curled into a smile. "Time to get going." She got up and started gathering Andy's things. Soda came over to me, one hand on my shoulder. "You got any questions?" he asked in a soft tone. I could tell he was sincere. He wasn't trying to make fun of me and I appreciated it.

"No, I think I can figure this out. We'll be fine. Thanks." He gave me a one armed hug, then turned to help Patty and Andy to their car.

Shelly and Darry were last out the door. I hugged her then watched as she went ahead to the car they had rented. "You need anything, Pone?" Darry asked, pausing at my side.

I shook the box Two-Bit handed me. "No, I think the guys took care of that." I smiled at him. He laughed.

"That wasn't what I meant, but I'm definitely not one for setting any examples in that department, now am I? I mean, do you and Ashley need anything... for yourselves? A gift? What can I get you?"

I looked at him and shook my head. He's given me security, a roof over my head, food in my stomach, clothes on my back. He's fought tooth and nail to keep me on the straight and narrow, working himself to the bone to provide for me. He's watched my back even when I hated him for doing it. "You've given me everything I could ever want, and everything I could ever need. What more is there?"

"I take it you don't need monogrammed towels then?"

"Hell, no. I just need my family, Darry. You and Soda, and now all the additional 'Curtis's' we've added to the mix. That's all I need."

"Ahh, Pone, I love you, kiddo, you know that?" he stepped off the top step and looked back at me.

"I always have, Darry. I love you, too."

He held out his hand to me, and I shook it.

"See you later, kid brother," he turned and joined Shelly in the car. They waved at me as they made their way out of my driveway, and I lingered outside to watch their car's lights fade into the distance. Behind me in the house, I heard the clink of glassware as Ashley moved about. I gave the stars one last glance, and went inside to join her, alone at last.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose

There is still a bit more, for those of you of appropriate age to read the "M" rated material, that is where you will find the next chapter, titled "Braided Ties, Innocence Lost." If you aren't authorized to read it...well, use your imagination. There will be at least one chapter – maybe two - to follow to finish this story, which will be with the rest of the story here on the "T" board. Thank you for reading. I hope you, the reader, have liked my work so far. Your accolades mean so much!

Calla


	34. Epilogue One

Massive amounts of thanks to Samaryley for her awesome Beta help!

Reminder, Chapter 34 is in the "M" boards. For those of you who are not authorized to read it, it's, well - the wedding night. Enough said.

Chapter 35

Epilogue

Darry and Shelly were married on their way back to Tulsa. Soda had broken the bad news that Tulsa didn't have a justice of the peace at the courthouse, and any wedding they would have wanted would have taken a minimum of three weeks to get done. Seeing as how he had just gone through all this, he knew what he was talking about. Shelly didn't want to wait, and Darry was doing whatever she wanted. Pregnant women usually get their way.

Las Vegas was originally a stop on the way to Hawaii for us anyway, so.... the whole ensemble made a spur of the moment trip west to watch Darry and Shelly tie the knot at some quaint chapel on the Vegas strip. As bad as that may sound, it really _wasn't _bad at all. Plus, we all still had our tuxes and she bought a dress - a creamy ivory dress that she looked quite matrimonial in. As a surprise, I called Carolyn at the diner just out of town and had her close the restaurant for us. She arranged for a cake and a few party favors and the whole gang had a very impromptu and extremely awkward yet fun celebration.

For me, it was so …. weird... to be back in Las Vegas. I sat in the same booth I'd sat in over two years ago, thinking of where my life had gone. Over two years ago, a telegram came and was left in the mailbox from the Department of the Army, erroneously saying that Sodapop had been killed. I was beyond devastated, and had fled everything I knew and held dear. I had hopped a train and came here, emotionally exhausted and physically spent. I had walked through the desert to this diner, where Carolyn had taken pity on me, a pathetic looking (yeah, I'm sure I had looked rather pathetic, now that time has cleared my vision of events) kid who had no direction. She'd given me her address and a pledge to help should I need it. I'd called on that help a time or two, and she had always come through. In the meantime, she had sent me on to Las Vegas, where the seeds of my destiny were sown.

Las Vegas awarded me the financial means to survive. Looking back on it now, I realize how improbable it was that I could just walk into a random casino and hit it as big as I had. Someone up there, and I mean the **big** _up there_, had been watching out for me, helping me out. A week later, I had headed north on a different train to meet my future. That train ride to Montana had given me a new sense of hope and filled me with a new passion. I had, literally, sketched a new life for myself from the scenery that passed in front of my eyes.

I had, therefore, started over, building a new life, one step at a time, with other people who took me in and watched over me. My heart had never forgotten the family I left behind in Tulsa, but it also had allowed a new family to come in, keeping me busy until fate allowed everyone to be reunited. The heart is limitless when people care about you.

I completed tasks I never would have had the strength to even _attempt _in Tulsa... relying only on myself to get them done. High School GED, college, jobs, career .... all seemingly impossible goals for me to even think of when I had first stepped foot into this diner. But now, over two years later, I could look back at all I had. I had achieved all that and more. The biggest achievement was sitting right in front of me. I reached for Ashley's hand and held it, gazing into her eyes. She had an odd look on her face, and I could tell that she didn't understand the look I must have worn on my own. I'd explain it to her later. In a weird way, in a strange convoluted turn of events, this diner had also sent me to her.

Ash looked at me from across the booth, smiling while eating some of Darry and Shelly's wedding cake. The guys had said nothing to me about what was so obviously something they wanted to tease and torment me about. No matter how old we all got, I was still, and always would be, the youngest. I guess either Darry or Soda - or maybe both of them together - told the guys that my first night with Ashley was strictly off limits, and I appreciated it. Or, perhaps they were just waiting until they could get me alone, respectful, at least, of Ash's feelings. Whatever the case, they left it to sending goofy smiles and laughing eyes at me as they flew with us from Montana to Vegas.

I watched as Darry and Soda chatted with Carolyn, pointing at me every now and again, and I figured that now all the truths were out of hiding. I vaguely remembered that they said they had come here to eat when they ventured to Vegas to look for me, using the postmark on the envelope of the letter I had sent Darry as their only clue. Now they had all the pieces of the puzzle, and saw how easy it was to put it together - but it's odd how something so clear can elude you when you're right in front of it.

I looked at my watch. "Ash, we have to get going."

We got up and I signaled to Soda, who chucked Darry on the arm. They headed our way.

"We have to get going, or we'll miss our flight."

"Ponyboy, I knew, I just _knew _they were your brothers. I've regretted it so much since that day for not being more forward... but I just wasn't sure _what_ to do. I'm so sorry, _all_ this pain and worry could have been prevented."

"Carolyn, you did everything just fine." I hugged her and headed out to the parking lot where our taxis were waiting. The drivers all had the meters off, getting a free dinner and having their own fill of wedding cake and plates of leftovers in exchange. Goodbyes were called to Carolyn as the rest of the gang came out, and before long we were back at the airport waiting to go our separate ways again.

"You have a good honeymoon, Pony - you deserve it. Enjoy those clear blue oceans and white sandy beaches for us," Soda said.

"Don't do anything we wouldn't do," Two-Bit called.

"I'm pretty sure he already did!" Steve laughingly said in a somewhat quiet chuckle, but not low enough to evade any of our ears. Darry, standing right next to him, also heard, and backhanded him hard across the chest. Steve sucked in a breath, rubbing that spot but smiling anyway. He'd been dying to get it out, so I guess, for him, it was worth it.

I smiled and looked around while Ash suddenly became interested in her shoes, turning a shade of crimson at the same time.

"You ever need anything, you call me. Got it?" Darry offered, as our flight was called.

"Yeah, same for you. Congratulations on your own wedding, Darry. You two decided if you're gonna stay at the house or sell it and get a new place just your own?"

I could tell that thought was new to him. Sell our house. _Our_ house. The place where so much of our lives and history had happened. Where Mom and Dad first brought us to live as a family, where marks on doorways showed our progression of age, where so much....so _damned_ much had happened. What price could you put on it?

"I'd never sell that house, Ponyboy, but we'll discuss that later. Go on, before you miss your flight... or is that what you're really trying to do?" he devilishly grinned at me. My hatred of flying hadn't diminished, but I was doing what I needed to do for Ashley.

I took her hand. "I'll call you in a few days, Darry. Bye guys," I called, as we handed in our boarding passes and went on board to find our seats.

Out the small window of the plane, I could see them all at the airport window looking out. Darry's arm around Shelly, Patty and Soda, with a sleeping Andy on his shoulder, Steve and Two-Bit. My family. From my seat on the airplane, I reached across Ashley and put my hand, palm out, on the glass, and watched as Darry and Soda did the same on the airport's terminal window. The plane moved away from the building to where I couldn't see them anymore, and I turned my gaze to Ashley, who smiled at me. I took her hand as she pulled the cover down over the window while the plane left the terminal, headed out to the runway.

"It's gonna be okay, Ponyboy. You'll see."

She would be right. As the plane revved its engines and pulled forward, I knew everything would be fine. As long as I had my family, my two brothers, our two best friends and all our extended families combined, we'd only be stronger, like strands of rope braided together. By ourselves, we were strong, but intertwined; our strength was immeasurable. No matter what happened in life, we'd be okay. As long as we had each other, we could survive anything.

XXX

Calla Lilly Rose


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